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EHP FYI
Newsletter from Employee Health Promotions
February Edition 2023
Relationship Help: Advice for Building Satisfying Relationships That Last
A healthy, secure romantic relationship can be an ongoing source of support and happiness in life. It can strengthen all aspects of your well-being, from your physical and mental health to your work and connections with others. However, a relationship that isn't supportive can be a tremendous drain on you emotionally. Love and relationships take work, commitment, and a willingness to adapt and change with your partner. Whether you're looking to keep a healthy relationship strong or repair a relationship on the rocks, these tips can help you build a caring and lasting union.
What are your expectations of a relationship?
Curiously, how you felt about the people who cared for you as an infant may have shaped your expectations of love and relationships as an adult. If your caretaker was understanding and caring, you trusted them and likely find it easy to trust your romantic partner now. If your caretaker was unstable, anxious, or abusive, your expectations of love may have become colored by these experiences. This relationship with your primary caretaker may also have influenced how comfortable (or uncomfortable) you feel with emotions—your own and other people's.
Traditional relationship advice often boils down to tips such as to fight fair, avoid taking out your problems on your partner, and expect ups and downs. While this is good advice, it doesn't take into account how negative early life experiences can shape your views of love and relationships. The first step to improving your relationship is to understand why the experience of feeling loved is so important to your brain and nervous system, as well as your heart.
Understanding Love Relationships
Human love has an evolutionary purpose. When you feel loved by someone, your brain and nervous system become more relaxed and function more efficiently, and you feel happier and healthier. In essence, the sensation of feeling loved is nature's antidote to stress. There is no quicker or more effective way to override stress than with face-to-face communication with someone who makes you feel understood, safe, and valued.
For most people, falling in love usually seems to just happen. It's preserving that "falling in love" experience that requires commitment and work. Given its rewards, though, it's well worth the effort. By taking steps now to preserve or rekindle your falling in love experience, you can build a meaningful relationship that lasts—even for a lifetime.
Relationship advice tip 1: Invest quality time in face-to-face contact.
You fall in love looking at and listening to each other. If you continue to look and listen in the same attentive ways, you can sustain the falling in love experience over the long term. You probably have fond memories of when you were first dating your loved one. Everything seemed new and exciting, and you likely spent hours just chatting together or coming up with new, exciting things to try. However, as time goes by, the demands of work, family, other obligations and the need everyone has for time to themselves can make it harder to find time together.
Many couples find that the face-to-face contact of their early dating days is gradually replaced by hurried texts, emails, and instant messages. While digital communication is great for some purposes, it doesn't positively impact your brain and nervous system in the same way as face-to-face communication. The emotional cues you both need to feel loved can only be conveyed in person, so no matter how busy life gets, it's important to carve out time to spend together.
Tell your partner what you need; don't make them guess.
It's not always easy to talk about what you need. Even when you've got a good idea of what's important to you in a relationship, talking about it can make you feel vulnerable, embarrassed, or even ashamed. However, look at it from your partner's point of view. Providing comfort and understanding to someone you love is a pleasure, not a burden, so tell your partner what you need. Remember, everyone changes over time. What you needed from your partner five years ago may be different from what you need now.
Don't be afraid of disagreement.
Some couples argue quietly, while others raise their voices and passionately disagree. The key is not to be fearful of disagreement but see it as an opportunity to grow the relationship. Both people in a relationship need to express the things that bother them without fear of humiliation or retaliation from their partner. Being able to do so can help improve you as individuals and as a couple.
Simple Ways to Connect as a Couple Face-to-Face
Commit to spending some quality time together every day on a regular basis. Even during the busiest times, just a few minutes of really sharing and connecting can help keep bonds strong.
Find something that you enjoy doing together, whether it is a shared hobby, dance class, daily walk, or sitting over a cup of coffee in the morning.
Try something new together. Doing new things together can be a fun way to connect and keep things interesting. It can be as simple as trying a new restaurant or going on a day trip to a place you've never been before.
Tip 2: Keep physical intimacy alive.
Touch is a fundamental part of human existence. Studies on infants have shown the importance of regular, affectionate physical contact on brain development, and the benefits don't end in childhood. Affectionate contact boosts the body's levels of oxytocin, a hormone that influences bonding and attachment:
While physical intercourse is often a cornerstone of a committed relationship, it shouldn't be the only method of physical intimacy. Frequent, affectionate touch—holding hands, hugging, kissing—is equally important.
Be sensitive to what your partner likes. Unwanted touching or inappropriate overtures can make the other person tense up and retreat—exactly what you don't want.
-posted from Help Guide, Robinson, L., Smith, M., & Segal, J. (Updated 2018, January).
Start Your Journey to Wellness
Being healthy, or keeping your workforce healthy, can be hard. Wading through all the resources can be overwhelming. Mayo Clinic Health System has cut through the noise and bundled key materials into free monthly toolkits to keep you, your family, your friends and your employees healthy.
Program benefits include:
- Get reliable and accurate information from a trusted health care source.
- Have resources and activities at your fingertips.
- Save time by using the toolkit resources delivered directly to your inbox.
Each month, we'll focus on a different aspect of healthy living. During this yearlong program, you use the provided resources and activities, choosing those that are important to you and completing them on your schedule.
Receive monthly emails.
Click on Image to register. Those who register will receive access to a new toolkit each month that includes resources such as blogs, videos, handouts and activities. You'll also have access to explore resources from previous months.
Resources For Every Employee
Employee Health Promotions is made possible through a partnership with South Central Service Coop. It is the promotion of health and wellness activities for employees of Mankato Area Public Schools. This work influences the physical, mental, economic and social well-being of employees and in turn the health of their families and our community.
ALL YEAR: Watch for EHP FYI in your email each month, where we will highlight need to know and good to know information for your health and wellness.
NOW: Get to know your EHP Site Representative, learn what activities they have planned for your building and join in!
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ALL YEAR: Virtual Learning Academy content to explore, engage and understand personal wellness. CEU's available. Yes, you read that correctly - CEU's and wellness benefits!