After talking about what responsibility is and its importance, parents can give teens opportunities to practice handling responsibility. Here are a few options:
Being on Time
Being on time for commitments is a great responsibility for teens, because it gives them control over that aspect of their lives (thereby giving them some independence), and it trains them to be responsible for arrivals—including arranging transportation and packing up their necessary belongings. Learning Coaches may help their teens set necessary alarms as reminders of when to get ready to leave the house and when to leave the house. Learning Coaches may also discuss timing with their teens, how to get to the required location, and help them find transportation and an efficient route to the location.
Making Breakfast, Lunch, and Snacks
This is an excellent responsibility for teens because there are built-in consequences (being hungry, for example) for failing to be responsible. Learning Coaches may aid their teens by discussing what elements go into creating a balanced and satisfying breakfast, lunch, and snack and making sure that their teens have access to these foods.
Meeting School Deadlines
Deadlines are inherent in college and careers, so it is vital that teens learn how to motivate themselves and keep themselves responsible for meeting their academic deadlines. Online school can be ripe with possibilities for teenagers to take on more academic responsibilities and for them to become independent learners. Learning Coaches may support their teens by discussing with them what projects and deadlines they have coming up, by having a calendar with the deadlines on it, and by providing occasional reminders about deadlines to encourage teens to be aware of their academic responsibilities.
Having Chores
Teens typically don’t enjoy doing chores, but chores are necessary because they are training opportunities for real-life responsibilities. Cooking, cleaning, laundry—these are all tasks that teenagers will have to do if they leave home to go to college and when they permanently move out of their parent's home. Parents can help their teens by being specific about what chores need to be completed, discussing how the chores relate to “real life,” providing instructions and guidance for new chores, and being reasonable on the workload. Consider your teen’s schedule and abilities when assigning tasks. Also, be specific so that your teenager knows what you expect of them. For example, “make sure the bathroom is clean” is somewhat abstract, but listing what you mean by “clean”—such as cleaning the counters, the toilet, the bathtub, and restocking the cupboard—helps to make the task specific, clear, and doable. Learning Coaches may also model the behaviors that they want to see in their teens regarding chores.
Taking a Part-time Job
A part-time job provides responsibility for teens because they are responsible for being at the job on time, completing tasks, and showing others respect. Also, a part-time job enables teens to experience tangible rewards and consequences for being responsible or failing to be responsible. Further, a part-time job gives parents an opportunity to discuss financial literacy and financial responsibility with their teens. Learning Coaches can support their teens by helping them to find a job that connects with their interests or career.
How Parents Can Help
In addition to giving their teens opportunities to practice handling responsibility, parents can do the following to teach and encourage responsibility for teens:
Have consequences. Teens need to understand that responsibility is largely about choices. If you choose to be responsible, then you can be rewarded (such as earning more independence). But, if you choose not to be responsible, then you must face some sort of consequence for your voluntary actions. Consequences may not be pleasant, but they are necessary for teens to learn the importance of choices and, ultimately, the importance of taking responsibility. Talk with your teen about the consequences of failing to be responsible. You can use the formula of, “If you do not do X, then Y will happen.” Also, allow consequences to happen in school if your teen’s actions warrant those consequences. For example, if your teen chooses not to turn in an assignment on time and the teacher’s consequence as laid out in their syllabus is that the assignment is a “zero,” then do not write a note asking on their behalf for the teacher to make an exception. By allowing that consequence to happen, your teenager will learn that their actions and choices matter.
If they ignore their responsibilities, talk about it. If a teen fails to demonstrate responsibility with a task, a parent should talk to the teen about why they failed and how their choices can affect, or have affected, others. Once the teen understands what happened and the impact of their choices, then they are more likely to avoid repeating that same mistake in the future. This self-reflection is an exercise in self-awareness and analysis that enables teens to apply the lessons that they learn now to their lives in the future. These conversations can also help parents to decide if their teens need additional support. For instance, a teen may fail to submit their schoolwork on time because they are feeling overwhelmed, being bullied, or having mental health struggles. This is when parents need to step in and give their teens the tools and support they need to succeed.
Give positive reinforcement for a job well done. Sometimes, pointing out what a teen does well can be just as effective as telling them what they need to improve upon. This also includes prising them for taking ownership of, and trying to correct, their mistakes. By telling your teen what they are doing well, you communicate to them what behaviors they should continue. Giving positive reinforcement will also make the experience of taking on responsibility more pleasant for your teen, and it will increase the odds of your teen trying their best to maintain their responsibilities and even take on more responsibility. Teaching teens how to be responsible is no easy task, but clear communication and specific expectations can help parents teach teens how to be responsible and learn vital life skills. As teens demonstrate consistency in meeting their responsibilities, parents can give their teens more trust and independence. It can be difficult, but teaching responsibility for teens is a way to help them achieve their potential as students and as human beings.
Article shared from the Connections Academy website.
