The ordinary, everyday things that families do together can build and strengthen relationships with teenagers. These tips might help you and your family.
Love and appreciation
Show your child how much you love and appreciate them. This can be as simple as saying ‘I love you’ each night when they go to bed or giving them a high-five.
Family meals
Regular family meals are a great chance for everyone to chat about their day or about interesting stuff that’s going on or coming up. If you encourage everyone to have a say, no one will feel they’re being put on the spot to talk. Also, many families find that meals are more enjoyable when the TV isn’t invited and mobile phones and tablets are switched off!
Family outings
Try setting aside time for fun family outings – you could all take turns choosing activities. A weekend away together as a family can also build togetherness. Our article on teenagers and free time has more ideas for things you can do as a family.
One-on-one time
One-on-one time with your child gives you the chance to stay connected and enjoy each other’s company. It can also be a chance to share thoughts and feelings. This might be as simple as going for a walk together, watching a movie, or telling your child a story. Or you might find a regular hobby to do together, like cooking or yoga.
Celebrate your child’s accomplishments
Celebrating your child’s accomplishments, sharing their disappointments, and supporting their hobbies sends the message that your child’s interests are important to you. You don’t have to make a big deal of this – sometimes it’s just a matter of showing up to watch your child play a sport or music, or giving them a lift to extracurricular activities.
Family traditions
Family traditions, routines and rituals can help you and your child set aside regular dates and special times. For example, you might have a movie night together, a favorite meal or cooking session on a particular night, a family games afternoon or an evening walk together.
Household responsibilities
Agreed household responsibilities give children and teenagers the sense that they’re making an important contribution to family life. These could be things like chores, shopping or helping older or younger members of the family. It helps to give your child some say in which responsibilities they take on.
Family rules
Agreed-on rules, limits and consequences give teenagers a sense of security, structure and predictability. They help your child know what standards apply in your family, and what will happen if they push the boundaries. When your child is involved in making your family rules, they’re more likely to see them as fair and stick to them. Negotiating rules with your child can also help you to reduce and manage conflict with your child.
Family meetings
Family meetings can help to solve problems. They give everyone a chance to be heard and be part of working out a solution.
Extra support
If you feel that your family really isn’t connecting, you might find a family counselor or other family support service helpful.
Resource:
https://raisingchildren.net.au/pre-teens/communicating-relationships/family-relationships/relationships-with-parents-teens
