Like many kids, when I was young, the holidays were a time of frenetic energy and anticipation. There was the year of the flocked tree that set off allergies galore as the house seemed to fill with its “snow.” We also had this color wheel that rotated so the side of the tree turned from red to green to yellow, etc. It was mesmerizing to watch….right up until it melted. Oh the tears as my sister and I wept the demise of a tradition while burning plastic wafted throughout. (We were probably 6 and 8 at the time)
I had grown up with images of what I thought the holidays were supposed to look like. Maybe that came from one too many Hallmark movies back in the day, because, in all honestly, very rarely does it resemble anything even close to what I visualized. I had made peace with this, right up until I became a mom. With parenting came an entirely new set of pressures to make everything merry and magical.
I’ve learned over time that all the effort put into coordinating decorations and wrapping a present with a perfect bow really didn’t matter. Max loved to play in the boxes and not with the toys. He loved the books more than the train table I painstakingly hid and then put together into the wee hours of the morning. He cared little about my attempt at a picture perfect tree and instead demanded to know that if those were really the jolly man’s footprints, then why wasn’t the “snow” cold? (Busted by the baking soda…he was 3 and I knew I was in trouble.)
Parenting is the toughest job, ever! The manual is rarely correct and social media will provide every sort of critique of what you do and how you do it. I’m beyond grateful there was no Pinterest when he was younger…imagine yet another source of anxiety when it comes to the good parent yardstick. Imagine the backlash if the hazardous color wheel melted now!
The holidays are marketed as a time of joy, yet for many of our families and students, that’s not necessarily the case. How do you make the choice between food on the table or gas to get to one of your three jobs and knowing you can’t meet your child’s holiday hopes? The images we see around us often don’t translate in the reality in which many live. As a single parent, there were many times when the holiday bar was just way too high and I took solace in knowing he would at least love playing in the box.
Over the years, what I see in my head as a magical season has morphed. I look for the moments and the experiences together, not the perfect package. The traditions I worked hard to establish pale in comparison to the gift of another season with my aging father or the sharing and creating of another story in our family. It’s messy and there’s nothing shiny, but it’s enough…more than enough.
So that’s my wish for all of you this holiday season…enough. Enough time together, enough laughter to carry you through, and enough patience for those moments when you need it.
Blessings,
Melissa
