You can come by The Rock Church from 11am – 12pm to pick up a FREE fully cooked Thanksgiving meal on Thursday, November 24.

The church will provide turkey, gravy, mashed potatoes, stuffing, and dessert. All you need to do is take it home and warm it. Volunteers will load meals into the back of your car. Please RSVP by NOON Wednesday, November 23 with the number in your family.

You’re invited! The Lockheed Martin Space High School Intern Program Team is looking forward to hosting an information session for you and your students within the coming weeks. During the presentation program lead, Madisen Cerny will be highlighting Lockheed Martin Space and sharing information about next steps in our Summer 2023 High School recruiting process.

You must register below to be able to join the session! If you or a student is not able to attend, slides will be sent out to all key partners after the November 15th session for you to distribute.

What: Lockheed Martin Space High School Internship Program Information Session

When: Monday, November 14 2022 07:00 PM Eastern Time & Tuesday, November 22 2022 07:00 PM Eastern Time

Where: Zoom- Register in advance for this meeting: https://lmco.zoomgov.com/meeting/register/vJIscuChrTwqHWVciKxdurytlOqzyvo5zMs

- After registering, you will receive a confirmation email containing information about joining the meeting.

Hosted by Sky Ridge Medical Center and Douglas County School District
Wednesday, November 30 | 5:30 p.m. - 6:30 p.m.
J oin this very special Parent University Webinar hosted by Laura Stack, Author of "Johnny Stack's Life and Death Story: The Dangerous Truth about today's Marijuana" as we discuss Teenagers and Substance Use (Marijuana, Fentanyl, Vaping, etc.) and Mental Health (effects on teenage brain development). This is a free event. Please register to receive information on joining the webinar.

Choosing where to go to college is not an easy decision, often because it feels so important. Kids are told that where they go after high school will define how the rest of their life turns out. But writer Kelly Corrigan says that's the big lie society must stop telling.

"The lie is that this is it, that this is a binary moment," said Corrigan, who also hosts the podcast Kelly Corrigan Wonders. "[That] if you get to the University of Stretch Dream Goal, everything will unfold accordingly. And if you don't, you're kind of screwed."

But that's actually not the case, she said.

For starters, Corrigan acknowledges that even thinking about college is a privilege not everyone has. And even for those who are considering it, the financial aspect can be just as stressful as the rest of the application process.

But for those who are applying, this can be a moment of growth, Corrigan argues, and a moment worth celebrating.

The stress of college applications starts long before high school Corrigan has two kids who are in college now, but before they got there, they went through what she says is "the dumpster fire that is senior fall," while working on their college applications.

The process sends kids through the wringer, making them consider big-picture questions like how the next chapter will be financed, and Corrigan says that forces them to grow. And while parents may want to help, Corrigan argues that they should let their kids take the lead.

Parents do have a role in this process and can help, but to do so they should start thinking about this long before senior fall arrives, Corrigan says, potentially beginning with a decision on how much to talk about college — and even use the word itself when their kids are young.

"I know most parents say the word college way too many times before the fall of their kids' senior year, [and] you can't just take it back with one statement," she said.

If parents have been talking about college and the schools that they went to and where their friends studied, it's nearly impossible for kids not to internalize that to some degree, Corrigan said. And she's speaking from experience.

"I really feel like at some level we blew it, to be totally honest. Because it did come up a lot. It came up too much," she said.

Stepping back and monitoring how much they as parents talk about college can help, Corrigan said. It puts the high schoolers in the driver's seat as they work to navigate what they want.

Deciding what to do after high school requires more questions than 'where do you want to go to college?'

That's an approach that high school counselor Jennifer Kirk agrees with. Kirk works at Upper St. Clair High School just outside of Pittsburgh, Pa., and serves as the board chair for the Pennsylvania School Counselors Association.

Kirk says the thought of post-secondary education – not just a four-year university degree – really begins as early as kindergarten because of how kids are exposed to industries. Teaching at school, medicine at doctor's appointments, and the jobs their parents and parents' friends have are just a few examples.

To break through some of that, she focuses on questions beyond "where do you want to go to college?" and asks about location, the feel of the campus, sports, music and accessibility to a number of other features.

"There has to be heavy self-reflection, because what is wonderful to me is different than your wonderful, is different to my mom or dad's wonderful, is different to my friend's wonderful," Kirk said. "Coaching up a 17 or 18-year-old to have the strength and courage to self-reflect authentically is a big deal."

Parents are invited into these conversations, but the focus is still on the students because "the first major adult thing that they're doing is deciding where they're going to land after high school," Kirk said.

A lot of the stress in this process also stems from students thinking they're going to make the wrong choice, Kirk said. That mentality is a result of society catastrophizing the wrong choice in school, and TV and Hollywood perpetuating unrealistic ideas of what college life is actually like, she said, adding that it's sold as "the best four years of your life."

"It is the next four to six years of your life," Kirk said. "We want them to be great, and then you're going to graduate, ideally, and move into the workforce and live another 50 to 75 years."

And those decades that follow can be great too – and might actually contain the "best years of your life."

During the pandemic, in every public school cafeteria in Colorado, every kid was able to get a free lunch, not just those from the poorest homes. Everyone.

The program expired.

Now a coalition of parents, teachers and anti-hunger advocates are pushing to make permanent universal free school lunches. Lawmakers in the Democratic-controlled legislature put it on the ballot. Next month voters will have the final say.

GlendaRika Garcia, a mom and bilingual food assistance navigator for Hunger Free Colorado, has no doubts about how she feels about it.

“I think that the kids being able to eat for free at school is really important, for all families, all kids,” said Garcia, a widow and a single mom of four boys.

Two of them, Alonzo and Pedro, tossed a football around in front of their Westminster apartment building, as Garcia explained her support for lawmakers putting The Healthy School Meals for All proposal on the ballot.

“Kids can't learn if they don't have good nutrition,” said Garcia, whose job entails signing up people for benefits and making sure they're eligible.

'It hurts my heart'

If voters OK Prop FF, it would create a program to offer free meals for all public school students and help schools pay for them. It would also fund pay increases for frontline school cafeteria workers, helping schools dealing with staff shortages and would incentivize schools to buy Colorado products. That has some families, workers and farmers cheering.

But some criticize what they see as a steep price tag for a new government program, which would raise $100 million annually from the state’s richest residents, if it passes.

Garcia sees the proposal as a game-changer, an equalizer. “I was a recipient of free school lunch when I was younger and oftentimes, before my mom even qualified for that, we didn't have enough for lunch,” she said.

A family of four making less than about $51,000 a year are eligible for free lunch. But supporters say right now more than 60,000 Colorado kids can’t afford school meals but aren’t eligible.

Depending on her job, Garcia at times qualified and at times didn’t, a blow to her budget.

“A lot of times, it's a financial burden for the parents,” she said.

Another issue, Garcia said some kids bully others for getting a free lunch. It happened to her as a kid, it happened to one of her sons.

“They know that people can identify if they can't afford it. It hurts my heart,” she said.

Her son Alonzo said at his high school some kids avoid the lunchroom rather than admit they qualify for free lunch.

“I think that they get embarrassed because they can't afford it,” he said.

The pandemic’s impact on kids’ school lunch consumption

Many Colorado districts reported a clear uptick during the pandemic of kids eating lunches provided for free at school.

“We were feeding kids that we have never fed before and it was good to see them coming up, and not just buying junk food,” said Andrea Cisneros, the kitchen manager at West Woods Elementary School in Arvada.

Many students arrive at school without food, said Dan Sharp, the school nutrition director in Mesa County School District 51 in Grand Junction. He noted that the pandemic gave a glimpse of the potential impact of a statewide universal free school meal program.

The district saw a 40 percent year-over-year increase in meals served during the pandemic, said Sharp, who prepared an informational letter about the proposal.

Before COVID-19, the district served an average of 9,500 of 21,000 students, about 45 percent of enrollment. During the pandemic, 4,000 more students ate healthy school meals daily than the previous two years.

“I really believe there's more households here and students that could qualify, but don't due to the stigma that goes with applying for free and reduced meals,” Sharp said.

He said today’s economy is having a big impact on the bottom lines of many. Families pay a higher percentage of income to housing and other key goods than decades ago.

Proponents said they did several food insecurity surveys throughout the pandemic and 44 percent of those respondents with kids at home reported being food insecure.

Recent national data found one in four families reported their children are not eating enough.

Colorado products from farm to school cafeteria

Colorado agriculture is a key part of the proposal.

Emerald Gardens is a farm in Bennett, about 20 minutes east of Denver International Airport. Roberto Meza walks through the greenhouses here, including one where a spectacular array of mushrooms is growing.

“Imagine children just enjoying the diversity of greens that we're able to grow here in Colorado,” he said.

Super-nutritious microgreens filled a series of shelves, growing in water-fed trays.

“We got basil over here. We have some arugula over there,” said Meza as he pointed to rows of greens.

Agriculture can be tough, hard work, with lots of tricky variables. The measure would provide grants for schools to buy Colorado-grown, raised or processed products. If it passes, it would give a solid financial boost for farms like this while feeding kids, Meza said.

“It's our future generation, you know, they're our future leaders, so why not invest in them with the best nutrition possible?” asked Meza, the co-founder of the East Denver Food Hub, which aims to bring food to the community, at food pantries, restaurants, retail stores, schools and museums, while championing local farmers. Meza is also a commissioner on the state Agriculture Commission.

Kids at schools they now supply have been raving about the fresh local produce, said Meza’s partner in farming and distribution, co-founder Dave Demerling.

“It’s really about the kids eating this stuff. Like every time we get it to a school district, we always get great feedback and they're like, ‘why aren't we getting this normally?’”

The ballot measure comes as obesity rates are growing in Colorado and around the U.S. Diets lacking in good, nutritious food are a key factor, according to a recent national report from the Trust for America’s Health. Eleven percent of Colorado children 10 to 17 have obesity, a national survey found.

Concerns about the costs

Low-income students will still keep receiving free meals under current law, whether the proposal passes or not. There’s no organized opposition to the measure, but that doesn’t mean no one is opposed to it.

“Nobody wants to be evil enough to say it, but this is a really stupid idea,” said Jon Caldara, president of the Independence Institute, a libertarian think tank. “Most kids in Colorado do not need this. And in fact, those who do, already have this.”

The group’s voter’s guide recommends a no vote.

If it passes, the measure would raise $100 million dollars a year by increasing state taxable income, but only for the 3 percent or 4 percent who make at least $300,000 a year.

“This proposal is, ‘Hey, let's get the rich guys to buy our kids lunch,’ ” he said. “This is another expansion of state bureaucracy that is just not necessary.”

The governor told CPR’s Colorado Matters he hasn’t made his mind up about how he’ll vote on it.

“I don’t have an objection to the funding mechanism but at the same time I sort of ask myself, if we had this would it be better just to be able to pay teachers better, reduce class size?” said Gov. Jared Polis, a Democrat. “Or is the best use of it lunches for upper- middle-income families?”

He added that the measure “doesn't affect the state finances one way or the other because it's effectively revenue neutral with the mechanism.”

His Republican opponent sounded more supportive in her interview on the show.

“I haven't had a chance to look at it, but I do want to make sure that every child has access to healthy food and lunches, so I'm certainly open to it,” said Heidi Ganahl.

The Common Sense Institute, a nonpartisan free-market think tank analyzed the measure and raised several concerns.

According to the group’s ballot guide, if all Colorado public school authorities take part, an additional 615,000 students will now become eligible to get free meals, a rise of 125 percent.

Next year, 114,000 Colorado taxpayers will be taxed to pay for the program, with an annual average increased tax bill of nearly $1,000. In a decade, the number of Coloradans paying for the program is anticipated to grow to as many as 339,000 taxpayers, according to the analysis.

But the group’s modeling found funding could be higher than needed or too low to completely fund it. Surplus revenues could exceed a billion dollars in a decade or it could be underfunded to the tune of $330 million annually, according to its ballot guide.

“There needs to be some good oversight on the program so that costs are managed well, and also that they don't develop a huge surplus,” said Steven Byers, the group’s senior economist.

Proponents dispute that analysis, saying the institute seemed to multiply the cost of the program over 10 years, rather than the year-to-year funding analysis that shows how costs of the program are covered. They do acknowledge any leftover funding will go to the general fund, as any extra costs would come out of it. Based on the data and analysis done by the legislative council those costs “will be minimal and the proposal will create a long-term program with long-term funding,” according to Healthy School Meals for All Colorado Students.

- This year's International Education Week celebration is from Nov 14th-18th. DCHS will have Global Fest 2022 to celebrate culture, traditions, heritage, languages, etc. with the rest of the world. We invite you to participate in the different festivities and a range of activities all week hosted by different groups of students or staff.

- If your club, class, individual student, student group/s, department, or organization would like to host an activity during International Education Week, please fill out the IEW-Global Fest 2022 Host-an-activity Submission Form, so we can connect with you on the details. Possible dates and times to participate: Wednesday, Nov 16th, during HR, AA, and maybe lunches.

Items IN THE WORKS:

-Mon, Nov 14th, During HR

WHAT: International Tea and Cultural Presentations by our Foreign Exchange students

WHO: Presented to IB Seniors and teachers

WHERE: Library

–Wed, Nov 16th, During AA

WHAT: DCHS Global Fest 2022

Showcases

Global experience (art and cultural activities)

WHO: Staff and students

WHERE: Library

-Thurs, Nov. 17th, After school (hosted by Spanish Honors Society)

WHAT: DCHS Foreign Film Night

WHO: Everyone

WHERE: Wally Theater

-Fri, Nov 18th, in World Language class

WHAT: Cultural Projects

WHO: World Language Students

WHERE: Classrooms

International Education Week (IEW) is a joint initiative of the U.S. Department of State and the U.S. Department of Education to recognize the global exchange environment between the United States and other countries. For an overview of the worldwide event, please view this video: Secretary of Education Cardona Celebrates International Education Week. Also, more information about IEW can be found here: https://iew.state.gov/

Enjoy the pre-pandemic 2019 IEW-DCHS celebration!

Questions, comments, or suggestions?

Please contact:

Mrs Bower <kabower@dcsdk12.org>

Mrs Olson <molson1@dcsdk12.org>

Ms De Tata <cdetata@dcsdk12.org>

The new site ApplyToTradeSchool.com is launching now for high school students interested in attending a Trade/Vocational School. The site is backed by College Fairs Online who have been connecting students to colleges for over 10 years. The new site is just starting out and adding new trade schools every day. There is also a $1000 scholarship opportunity at ApplyToTradeSchool.com for high school seniors.

To have students check out the site and/or apply for the scholarship drawing please feel free to place a link to www.ApplyToTradeSchool.com on your High School's website, the Counselors page, AVID page, College resources page or any other page you feel necessary. Please feel free to also include the site in emails that go out to students regarding preparing for college. You can also share the site on social media using the links below.

This fall, first-time college students in Colorado will have a cheaper way to get a four-year degree. The new Bridge to Bachelor’s Degree Program allows those students at Colorado’s 13 community colleges to be conditionally admitted to a participating four-year college once they complete their two-year degree.

“In Colorado, our graduation rates are not what they should be,” said Joe Garcia, chancellor of the Colorado Community College System.

About 80 percent of students who start at a community college say they want to go on and get a four-year degree, he said. Only about 20 percent actually do. That’s about 19,000 CCCS students transferring to a four-year college or university each year. Some get frustrated when they find out some of their credits won’t transfer. Thousands more drop out to enter the workforce.

Colorado has instituted programs that make transferring credits easier, but Garcia said the state hasn’t done enough to make sure students stay to both finish their associate’s degree and move on to a university if they wish.

Students who sign up for the Bridge to Bachelor’s program will work with both two-year and four-year college academic counselors from the start.

“They will stay on track and not take a lot of courses that don’t transfer for academic credit to four-year institutions,” he says. “I think that's the kind of extra incentive, the extra impetus so many of them need.”

The program comes at a critical time. Since the COVID-19 pandemic, enrollment at colleges is down with thousands of students on the fence about committing to costly degrees. High school counselors report that many students say they want to stay closer to their homes until there is more clarity about the novel coronavirus.

“Now may be the time when the smart, strategic choice for many students is to stay closer to home,” Garcia said.

In a statement, Gov. Polis said the new model will substantially lower the cost to complete a bachelor’s degree, and help guarantee students’ chances of achieving upward social mobility.

Economic data show the state also needs people with certificates, trade credentials and associate degrees. But research from the Great Recession shows people who weathered it best were people with bachelor’s degrees and beyond.

The larger institutions that have guaranteed admission include The University of Colorado Denver, Colorado State University in Fort Collins, Colorado Mesa University in Grand Junction, Fort Lewis College in Durango, Johnson and Wales University, Metropolitan State University of Denver, Regis University, the University of Colorado at Colorado Springs and Western Colorado University in Gunnison.

Garcia said CCCS is working on finalizing agreements with many more four-year universities.

There’s plenty of anxiety in the U.S. over getting into a top college. But a new Gallup poll suggests that, later in life, it doesn’t matter nearly as much as we think. In fact, when you ask college graduates whether they’re “engaged” with their work or “thriving” in all aspects of their lives, their responses don’t vary one bit whether they went to a prestigious college or not.

The surprising findings come in a survey of 29,650 college graduates of all ages by Gallup pollsters working with researchers at Purdue University. The poll asked graduates a range of questions designed to measure how well they are doing in life across factors such as income and “engagement” in their jobs and careers.

The survey set a high bar. It found that 39 percent of college grads overall say they’re “engaged” at work (which is 10 points higher than the population at large). And, while almost 5 in 6 self-report doing great in at least one sphere — whether sense of purpose, financial security, physical health, close relationships or community pride — only 11 percent are “thriving” in all five areas of well-being.

And here’s the kicker.

Those percentages did not vary based on whether the grads went to a fancy name-brand school or a regional state college, one of the top 100 in the U.S. News & World Report rankings or one of the bottom 100. A slight edge did go to those who attended campuses with more than 10,000 students, while for-profit college graduates saw worse outcomes.

No opinion poll can fully capture the impact — or allure — of attending a world-famous institution. But this isn’t the first time studies have documented no edge for highly selective schools. Previous studies have shown no link between expensive private colleges and later salary for graduates. Income is much more closely tied to a person’s choice of a major, which is a finding the Gallup survey also supported.

High-end colleges often boast that their long-term results should be judged not by looking at paychecks, but at whether their graduates live lives of meaning and deep satisfaction. “A college degree should be … a passport to a lifetime of citizenship, opportunity, growth and change,” wrote Harvard’s president, Drew Gilpin Faust, in a letter to The New York Times last year.

Well, this survey asked about all that qualitative stuff — purpose, motivation to achieve goals, opportunity to learn and grow — and it didn’t find any broad influence whatsoever, whether a person’s diploma cost $25,000 or $250,000.

For Gallup, “well-being” and “engagement” aren’t squishy. They have very specific meanings. In surveys of 25 million people over a number of years, the researchers have asked similar questions and correlated the responses across populations with income, health, employee turnover, company revenue and other “hard” indexes.

The graduate survey released Tuesday suggests the factors that should be guiding college decisions are not selectivity or prestige, but cost of attendance, great teaching and deep learning, in that order.

That’s because graduates who said they had a “mentor who encouraged my hopes and dreams,” “professors who cared about me” and at least one prof who “made me excited about learning” are three times more likely to be thriving and twice as likely to be engaged at work. In a similar vein, grads who did long-term projects and internships and were heavily into extracurriculars are twice as likely to be engaged in their careers today.

College debt also has a big impact, on the negative side. Only 2 percent of those with $20,000 to $40,000 in undergraduate loans reported they were “thriving.” That’s pretty troubling, since $29,400 is the national average for the 7 in 10 students who borrow. ­

Gallup and Purdue hope to use these and future surveys to help colleges better focus on outcomes, and to identify “outlier” colleges that are doing a great job delivering quality experiences for an affordable price.

In the meantime, the take-home message for students is clear, says Brandon Busteed, who leads Gallup’s education work: “If you can go to Podunk U debt free vs. Harvard for $100,000, go to Podunk. And concentrate on what you do when you get there.”

The fallout — and fascination — continue from the massive college admissions scandal.

The University of Southern California has “placed holds on the accounts of students who may be associated with the alleged admissions scheme,” the school said in a statement on its website. And lawmakers in Congress have already introduced legislation aimed at leveling the playing field for college students.

But many college students say they aren’t surprised by the scheme, which involved bribing university coaches and test proctors to get wealthy students into some of the United States’ top schools.

Whether you’re fascinated by Olivia Jade Giannulli or furious at her parents for scamming the system, here are a few ideas to keep in mind.

There are lots of ways that wealthy families get a boost in the college admissions process. Most are quite legal.

Donations: It’s no secret that well-off alumni give money to their alma maters. This cash can make a difference when the kids of these alumni grow up and apply to college. The issue came up last fall in the Harvard University admissions trial — which focused on the ways that the school factors race into admissions. That trial also lifted the veil on how the process can work, and among evidence presented were email exchanges between Harvard officials discussing connections between applicants and major donors.

Legacy admissions: Nearly half of private colleges and universities (42 percent) and 6 percent of public ones take into account whether an applicant’s family members attended that school, according to Inside Higher Ed. Harvard officials defended their use of legacy admissions in court filings, saying the practice helps connect the school with its alumni, whose financial support is essential.

Campus visits: Some colleges consider whether students “demonstrate interest” in their schools by making the costly trip to visit campus. But not every family can afford that trip.

Applying early decision: At many schools, students are more likely to be admitted in the early action or early decision cycles, which occur in the fall instead of the spring. But research shows that early options favor white and wealthy students.

College consulting and test prep: As The New York Times reported last week, some well-off families pay hundreds, even thousands of dollars for guidance from college consultants. These consultants are part of an entire industry devoted to getting wealthy teens into their schools of choice.

How important is it to attend one of these elite schools?

For most Americans, these schools represent more than a college degree — they’re seen as a ticket to economic mobility. And getting into an elite college can make a big difference for low-income students, who end up making almost as much as their peers, according to research by a team based at Harvard.

But studies have also shown that going to a prestigious college doesn’t make much of a difference in long-term happiness or life satisfaction.

This college admissions scandal is one part of a larger story about education. Don’t forget the bigger picture.

Even when low-income students make it to campus, inequity continues.

“Universities have extended invitations to more and more diverse sets of students but have not changed their ways to adapt to who is on campus,” Anthony Abraham Jack, an assistant professor at the Harvard Graduate School of Education, told NPR’s Elissa Nadworny.

Schools don’t always set up students from underrepresented backgrounds — including those who are the first in their families to go to college and those from rural areas — for success.

Even before college, low-income students and children of color are at a disadvantage in school.

A report by the U.S. Commission on Civil Rights published last year concluded, “The federal government must take bold action to address inequitable funding in our nation’s public schools.” Schools in America remain largely segregated — and those serving mostly students of color get $23 billion less than schools serving mostly white students, though both have the same number of students, according to a recent report from the nonprofit EdBuild.

The pandemic forced many emerging adults to take a few steps backward on their path to maturity. College students who had recently left the nest returned home. New graduates lost jobs or struggled to find one. Dating and romantic relationships stalled. From the outside, the early pandemic time for young adults resembled what’s known as “failure to launch” syndrome—an inability to progress into an independent life.

Now most young adults who returned home to their family “pod” in 2020 have set out once again—for a college campus, a new job, or a different city. However, others show no signs of moving on. Has the pandemic hindered a generation’s transition to adulthood? How can parents help ease their child’s path in difficult times, without enabling “failure to launch” syndrome?

What is “Failure to Launch” Syndrome?

The term “failure to launch” syndrome is not a formally recognized mental health diagnosis. Rather, it is a pop culture label for a young adult who lives at home and remains highly dependent on their parents. Unlike other multigenerational living arrangements, a young adult suffering from “failure to launch” is not typically in school or working. They do not contribute to the household financially or help with chores. Other “failure to launch” symptoms may include:

• General passivity
• Lack of motivation
• Low ambition
• Procrastination
• Difficulty managing stress
• Avoidance of activities that involve responsibility
• Withdrawal and isolation
• Poor social and communication skills

Instead of failure to launch meaning that an adult child is “lazy” or “spoiled,” it is usually an indication that a young adult struggles with their mental health. Moreover, the symptoms may be compounded by a sense of shame absorbed from mainstream culture that stigmatizes a young adult’s “failure to launch.” For a young adult who feels stuck, shame further lowers their self-esteem and intensifies their underlying mental health issues. And parents’ efforts to ease their child’s distress by sheltering them from the demands of life can actually make things worse.

The Difference Between Living at Home and Failure to Launch

The increase in adult children living with their parents has been interpreted by the media as evidence of a “failure to launch” syndrome epidemic. That’s because, by traditional western standards, the markers of adulthood include the following milestones:

• Living on one’s own or with friends
• Completing schooling
• Full-time employment
• Financial independence
• Establishing a long-term love relationship
• Having children

However, numerous societal trends underlie the growing numbers of young adults living with their parents. Researchers point to longer time spent in school, increasing levels of student debt, and rising housing costs, among other social pressures and financial uncertainties. The trend is most prevalent among those without a college degree, who are more than twice as likely to live at home as college graduates.

The Benefits of Young Adult Children Living at Home

For today’s young adults, relationships matter more than a conventional definition of success. One study of college students revealed that young adults see relational qualities as better indicators of adulthood than the achievement of traditional social roles. Such qualities include developing an equal relationship with parents, showing consideration for others, and maintaining control of emotions. All of these areas of maturity can continue to grow while living at home.

In addition, statistics show that the typical young adult in a multigenerational household contributed 22 percent of household income. In other words, they were working outside the home, helping to support the household, and (hopefully) moving toward career goals.

Clearly, then, not every instance of young adults living with their parents is a case of “failure to launch” syndrome. In many cultures, in fact, it’s expected and supportive. Increasingly, families from a wide range of backgrounds view multigenerational living as a smart choice. Not only does it help a young adult get ahead financially, but it can also be beneficial for parents. Family connectedness and supportive social relationships are a primary source of resilience and well-being at every stage of life.

What Causes Failure to Launch?

The pandemic has affected the mental health of young adults more than any other age group. Their increasing levels of anxiety and depression can set the stage for a failure to launch. But failure to launch syndrome can also be a vicious cycle. Feeling reliant on parents, if it’s not a deliberate choice, can amplify underlying depression or anxiety. That makes it even harder to summon the effort to engage in education or form career goals.

Although there is no single cause for “failure to launch” syndrome, anxiety is usually a common factor. This may reflect an underlying anxiety disorder. Or it can arise for a variety of other reasons:

• Difficulty with emotion regulation in response to stress, a common factor in many mental health disorders, such as depression, bipolar disorder, or PTSD
• Impaired executive functioning that inhibits the ability to make plans and act on them, whether due to the late maturation of the prefrontal cortex or a disorder such as ADHD
• Life experiences, especially childhood trauma, that generate shame or low self-esteem
• A fear of failure or mistakes, often rooted in perfectionism
• Unrealistic expectations of themselves, sometimes fostered by the curated views of other people’s lives seen through social media
• The perception (accurate or not) that other people, including parents, have unattainable expectations of them
• Poor sleep or nutrition habits that deplete their ability to manage stress
• Substance abuse or behavioral addictions, such as gambling or gaming disorder
• Physical health conditions, such as Lyme disease, chronic fatigue syndrome, or long COVID, that increase the difficulty of the responsibilities of daily living.

The Accommodation Trap

Whatever the origins of a young adult’s suffering from failure to launch, the way a family reacts is an important part of the dynamic. It is natural to want to help a child who is struggling, whether they are in active distress or in avoidance mode. But there is a difference between helping a child avoid anxiety vs. offering a child the support they need to learn to overcome their anxiety. Psychologist Eli Lebowitz, who specializes in helping families of children with anxiety and OCD, calls this the “accommodation trap.”

Well-intentioned parental overinvolvement can actually worsen a child’s symptoms. But it can be difficult to know how to step back. Parents who feel at a loss for how to help their struggling child usually focus on trying to get the child to change. Lebowitz encourages parents to focus on changing their own behavior first. The shift from providing protection to offering support is a delicate process, Lebowitz warns. Parents must take care to communicate acceptance of their adult child’s feelings, as well as confidence that they can overcome their fear. He suggests the following wording:

• Acceptance: “I accept that you are afraid and acknowledge that what you are feeling is real and legitimate. I am not trying to deny your experience or to belittle it.”
• Confidence: “I have faith in your ability. I know you can cope and believe you are strong enough to face this challenge successfully.”
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Even with these messages of acceptance and confidence, long-standing patterns of dependency and accommodation are difficult to shift. Awareness, determination and support are necessary in order to help a young adult move forward with a sense of confidence and self-efficacy.

How to Support Young Adults to Launch

Both parents and young adult children living at home should recognize that their relationship must evolve in a way that respects everyone’s needs.

Make an agreement about how things will work at home.

Families will need to thoughtfully negotiate boundaries and expectations in order to allow a young adult to continue healthy development towards autonomy. Otherwise, the situation can become a source of resentment for both parents and their adult children. Some parents and adult children create a written contract so the expectations and consequences are clear to everyone.

Encourage them to explore without pressuring them to commit.

Remember that for most people, the transition to adulthood is a gradual process of discovering a role that fits. Prematurely committing to a path that does not align with a young adult’s skills, interests, and values can set the stage for future problems. Let your child know that it’s okay to change their mind—the important thing is to try things to see how they feel.

Help your adult child set realistic goals.

Target small increments of change that move a young adult in the right direction, and celebrate those achievements. Lifestyle changes, such as sleep, nutrition, and physical activity, may be a good place to start, because of the role they play in supporting mental health. In-person social connections also provide far-reaching benefits.

Be honest with yourself about your parenting style.

Studies show that an over-involved and over-controlling parenting style (often referred to as “helicopter parenting”) is tied to increased rates of anxiety and depression. Get input from a trusted friend or therapist for a compassionate but objective appraisal.

Consider family therapy.

Family therapists are trained to view the family as an interconnected system. A family therapist can help parents understand how a change in their own behavior may be the most effective way to produce a change in their child. Moreover, family therapy can help rebuild broken trust and long-standing attachment ruptures between parents and children.