I am advertising for some Unified Peer Coaches to assist us with our upcoming basketball season. I can offer community service if you know students who are looking for opportunities. It is a bi-weekly commitment from January to February, here is the link for students to show interest (the schedule is linked on the form).

- Mrs.Strong

Dear DCHS Families and Students:

We are nearing the end of the semester. There are three weeks of classes and then finals week. Finals week begins with a Lavender day on Monday, December 18th. The finals schedule is listed below.

If you are failing any classes, there is still time to get your grades up. Make sure you are communicating with your teachers.

Parents/guardians, you can see your students grades and attendance in the Infinite Campus parent portal. If you have trouble logging into your account, please reach out to our registrar, Shannon Mason, at samason1@dcsdk12.org.

Listed below is the schedule for our upcoming finals week in December to close out the first semester of our 2023-24 school year. The Finals schedule can also be found on the DCHS website.

Douglas County High School does NOT allow students to take early final exams. Most, if not all of our staff, do not have their exams ready until the week they are given thus we are unable to accommodate an early request. Please make it a priority that your student(s) are here during finals week.

Please note that we will NOT be running passes to retrieve students at any time during final exams week. If you know your child needs to be released ahead of the school's set schedule, please send a note containing the date and specific dismissal time with them and the student must then take it to the attendance office to obtain a pass. NO EXCEPTIONS. Thanks so much for your help with this as we are trying to eliminate class disruptions during this time.

DCHS will have supervised areas in the Library and Commons for students that cannot make alternative transportation arrangements to stay and study. Students that need to meet with a teacher will need to make an appointment to ensure we don’t inundate any one teacher. If your student(s) are unable to find early transportation home, it is advised that they bring material to study and pack a lunch as there will be a very limited lunch choice from the school’s cafeteria.

We appreciate all your help and support in your student's education. We look forward to a great second semester! Happy Holidays!

KEY POINTS

• Difficulties with executive functioning are especially associated with ADHD and autism.
• Depression, anxiety, schizophrenia and bipolar disorder also often involve executive functioning challenges.
• Leveraging strengths can help transform executive functioning patterns in those who struggle.

I hold my planner like a life book. It's dazzled with color-coded words, stickers, notes, symbols, and doodles. One might think it's all for fun. In truth, it's all quite necessary. It's my executive assistant.

Executive Functioning

Executive functioning is a fancy term for the array of tasks it takes to plan and implement a task. This includes drawing out what is necessary, gathering tools, getting started, troubleshooting difficulties, staying at it, and following up. Organizing time and space are also important components. Working memory, processing speed, and frustration tolerance are related pieces. It's a lot!

For some, executive functioning comes easily and in a predictable manner. For others, any number of these details can be treacherous pulling one into a swamp of frustration and confusion. This is particularly the case when a person is neurodivergent, often meaning that the organization strategies that work well for the majority of people might not be as effective.

Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder and Executive Functioning

Of all conditions, ADHD is perhaps the one most associated with executive functioning difficulties. Unsurprisingly, executive functioning difficulties are associated with academic problems in children with ADHD (Tamm and colleagues, 2021) and emotional troubles in adults with the condition (Zhang and colleagues, 2021). It can be incredibly discouraging when the relatively small pieces interrupt one's ability to complete their goals.

For individuals with ADHD, executive functioning problems are often complex but are often tangled in with distractibility and working memory alterations. Apps to assist with planning and tracking progress along with strategies such as breaking a task into smaller pieces with mini-rewards can help. Similarly, some report it to be easier to stay on task when doing something alongside another person. For this reason, body doubling, a practice of pairing with another person when going to work on something has become a popular strategy among people with ADHD.

Executive Functioning Challenges Outside ADHD

A research study of undergraduate students found that depressed mood and anxiety were both associated with executive functioning deficits. Depression was associated with difficulties maintaining a goal. While anxiety was also correlated with cognitive inflexibility.

Checklists can provide some structure for individuals living with anxiety and assist with the cognitive inflexibility that can accompany anxiety. Seeing a complex task broken into manageable pieces is reassuring. Similarly, motivational assistance might be particularly important in managing executive functioning difficulties in depression. This might mean checking in with another person regularly when working toward a goal, or pairing the task with another enjoyable task.

In autism, executive functioning difficulties have also been identified in the domains of planning and flexibility (Xie and colleagues, 2020). What works to improve executive functioning might vary widely from person to person. Still, with consideration of the identified visual strengths and assistance through visual cues (Anger and colleagues, 2019), autistic individuals may benefit from the use of visual aids such as color coding or writing and drawing in a physical planner.

Executive functioning deficits are also common in mental health conditions such as bipolar disorder (Cotrena and colleagues, 2020) and Schizophrenia (Parola and colleagues, 2020).

Looking further, stress can be a powerful trigger for executive dysfunction. Anyone is likely to struggle with organizing ideas, tasks, space, and time when feeling overwhelmed. For this reason, it is helpful for all of us to consider what works to decrease stress and bolster our ability to complete tasks as well as to be kind to ourselves when things just don't seem to be coming together. For those struggling, psychotherapy with a focus on executive functioning can assist.

KEY POINTS

• Parents often underestimate the impact of their own mental health on their children's well-being.
• Persistently high parental stress can affect parenting and impact children's mental health and development.
• Prioritizing parental well-being isn't selfish. In fact, it's one of the best gifts we can give our children.

In these hectic and stressful times, it’s easy for parents to get so busy with the activities of parenting, with their jobs, and with all the other demands of life that they forget to take care of their own emotional well-being.

That can be a problem, especially for children. That’s because stressed-out parents tend to have kids who are at risk of developing emotional and behavioral problems. And for parents who are struggling with mental health problems such as depression, anxiety, or trauma, the neglect of self-care can be especially problematic, because parental distress can negatively impact the mental health and ongoing development of children.

How does parental mental health affect children?

Highly stressed parents are more likely to fall back on unhelpful parenting methods when their children misbehave. This can include harsh parenting behaviors (e.g., yelling, hitting) that frighten children and increase their distress and misbehavior. When parents are experiencing chronically high stress, they may also find it difficult to provide their children with warm and responsive parenting—a cornerstone of healthy child development. It’s through warm and responsive parenting that children learn they are lovable and can trust in the people on whom their lives depend.

Highly stressed parents are also more likely to have marital/relational conflict. That's not just a problem for the couple; parental strife is strongly linked to emotional and behavioral problems in children.

In families living in settings of chronic adversity, such as war zones and refugee camps—the focus of my own research—children may learn that the world is profoundly unsafe despite parental warmth and responsiveness. Critically, though, warm and nurturing parenting, even in settings of armed conflict, helps children cope with their fear and gives them a secure base in their families amid the violence and destruction in their environment. Unfortunately, settings of high adversity can generate an awful lot of stress for parents, making it especially challenging to provide their children with calm and supportive interactions.

Mental health conditions in parents, such as depression and PTSD, are strongly linked to emotional and developmental problems in children. This doesn’t mean that distressed parents will inevitably have distressed children; a healthy parent can compensate for their less healthy partner, and grandparents and other healthy adults can buffer the effects of having a persistently distressed parent. But the link between parental distress and children’s mental health is clear: mental health problems in parents increase the risk of emotional and behavioral problems in their children.

The precise pathways by which parental distress impacts children are still being explored, but the evidence suggests at least two mechanisms:

1. Just like parents who are highly stressed, parents who are depressed, highly anxious, or traumatized may be more likely to engage in unhelpful and even harmful parenting practices. These can range from being overprotective or inattentive, to not enforcing rules (e.g., bedtime, eating, hygiene, screen time, etc.), to becoming harsh and even verbally or physically abusive. Distressed parents may also be less likely to provide their children with warm and responsive interactions, which, as noted above, are among the most elemental building blocks of healthy child development.
2. Depression and PTSD have both been shown to negatively affect the development of secure attachments among young children. Insecure attachments, in turn, leave children at increased risk for a host of problems, such as difficulty managing difficult emotions, developing and maintaining friendships, experiencing good self-esteem, and being able to concentrate well in school. One intriguing hypothesis is that parents who dissociate or react fearfully or with anger when something triggers a trauma-related memory, even just for short periods, may cause a powerful sense of alarm in their children. It’s frightening to be interacting with a parent who is suddenly “not there” psychologically. If this happens repeatedly, it can have a negative and lasting impact on a child’s sense of self and feelings of safety.

How can parents strengthen their emotional well-being?

The first step to improving our own well-being is to acknowledge its importance for us as individuals, partners, and parents. If we make self-care a priority, it can pay off richly in our well-being, in the quality of our intimate relationships, and in the well-being of our children.

Strategies for strengthening parental well-being are not rocket science, but they do take a commitment to regular practice.

1. Some sources of stress can be minimized, and it’s worth mapping out key sources of stress during a typical week. What routines can be modified, and what household and family responsibilities can be shared differently to lower stress? When one or both partners regularly bring work-related stress home, that can lead to stressful interactions in the family. It’s helpful to find ways of lowering stress before arriving home or to take a few moments to “de-stress” before engaging with family members. A quick stop at the gym, a brief walk, a long shower, or simply a decision to minimize time spent complaining about work (no matter how legitimate the complaints) can all be helpful.
2. Making time to nurture your intimate relationship is key. Happier couples have healthier children. This doesn’t just mean bringing home flowers or doing small but sweet favors for each other. It means setting aside time to share feelings and concerns, to have fun, and to be intimate. One of the best books I know of for couples wanting to strengthen their relationship is John Gottman’s 7 Principles for Making Marriage Work. It’s evidence-based, based on years of research, and filled with great activities. The Gottman Institute also offers wonderful trainings for couples through its network of trained specialists. Esther Patel’s wonderful Mating in Captivity is a great resource for couples looking to revive sexual lives that have stagnated over the years.
3. Exercise is one the best and most evidence-based ways of lowering stress and improving mental health. You don’t need to run 20 miles or play two hours of tennis or pickleball to get the benefits of regular exercise. A brief but brisk walk, a short jog, or a 20-minute at-home yoga routine workout can do wonders to help shake off the day’s stress and improve one’s mood. And if you can make your exercise a social experience, so much the better.
4. Mindfulness practices such as meditation and yoga have powerful effects on lowering stress and reducing anxiety and depression. Simple mindfulness exercises have also been shown to help parents respond with greater calm and thoughtfulness to children’s misbehavior. There are numerous apps to help you get started with either practice. What matters isn’t how long your practice lasts, but that you engage in it consistently and mindfully—without getting distracted by your worries. And if you think you just don’t have the time or temperament for meditation or yoga, see my post on the many ways we can incorporate mindfulness into everyday tasks we already doing.
5. For parents experiencing depression, trauma, or severe anxiety, there is good news. Psychotherapy and counseling are effective at helping people overcome all of these conditions. Find someone whose approach and interpersonal style you feel comfortable with. Don’t worry too much about which professional title they hold (M.D., Ph.D., Psy.D., MSW, MFT, etc.) or what theoretical orientation they identify with (CBT, client-centered, psychodynamic, etc.). All approaches appear to be about equally effective, and the specific graduate degree a therapist or counselor holds doesn’t appear to matter either. Psychiatric medications can also be helpful, and there is intriguing evidence that psychedelic-assisted therapy using psilocybin, ketamine, and MDMA (ecstasy) could support the process of overcoming a variety of psychological disorders. Unfortunately, psychedelic-assisted therapies are still unavailable in many places, but this is likely to change as the compelling evidence continues to accrue.

KEY POINTS

• The more and longer parents promote the Santa Claus myth, the longer a child will accept the fantasy.
• A new study found that most children (over 75%) don't lose trust after learning the truth about Santa Claus.
• Children typically start to question the existence of Santa Claus around age 7 or 8.

Should you tell your children the truth about Santa Claus? Years ago, I asked readers, if so, when?

In our house, on Christmas Eve, we left a letter and cookies for Santa and a few carrots for the reindeer. Only crumbs remained on the plate Christmas morning, gifts piled neatly under the tree. Yes, we endorsed the Santa Claus myth. And, as our child got older, we had someone else write a quick note from Santa to our son, thinking he might recognize our handwriting.

Other parents go further: Some employ Elf on the Shelf in elaborate ways. Each child has his own Elf; children cannot touch or “speak” to the Elf, for example. Others sprinkle glitter and oats on the lawn, purportedly to attract the reindeer and sled to the house.

A new two-part study drills down into the question of how significant a role parents should play in promoting Santa Claus or in dismantling the myth. Part one of the study asked 48 children and their parents about their engagement with the myth and when and how their children discovered the truth. Part two asked 383 adults to reflect on their experiences and feelings when discovering Santa is not real.

The study, which was published in the journal Developmental Psychology in November, raises questions for parents today about how much to promote the myth and how and at what age children realize Santa Claus, like the Tooth Fairy, is a fantasy. How do children learn the truth?

Interestingly, in responses from participants in both parts of the study, roughly one-third of children and half of the adults who responded had negative emotions about their discovery when parents strongly promoted the myth.

The question then becomes, do those feelings last, and do they affect parent-child trust?

The Truth Comes Out

This study and related research confirm that children’s disbelief typically surfaces around age 7 or 8, although the study suggests the more parental promotion of Santa, the later the reality sets in.

Once skepticism takes hold, children look for clues and confirmation that Santa is made up. Your child might start to wonder how Santa can deliver gifts to all the children in the world in one night, how he can fit down your skinny chimney, or why the Santas he sees look different from one another? Common sense, a bit of sleuthing, and logic go a long way in unraveling the myth independently. But then there’s also an older sibling or friend who spills the beans or honestly answers the child who asks, “Is Santa real?”

Typically, more than half of children who are doubtful figure this out on their own. Others are told by parents or a little of both, according to the Developmental Psychology study. The researchers report that 76 percent of the children trusted their parents the same since learning the truth; only 21 percent trusted them less, and 2 percent trusted their parents more.

Santa’s Future in Your House

While some parents and children worry that perpetuating Santa Claus could erode trust, others think that giving up the Christmas goose could take much of the fun out of the holiday. One mother who felt strongly about being honest told her 5-year-old the truth when asked, only to have her daughter scream at her, “Mom, you ruined Christmas for me.” Her upset didn’t last long, her mother told me.

Parents in both camps (pro- or anti-Santa myth) can take heart in knowing that negative responses to learning the truth about Santa were, like the 5-year-old, short-lived. Even the children and adults who felt deceived by their parents said that they would perpetuate the myth with their own children.

In summing up finding out the truth, one young boy in the study told his parent that while he was sad and disappointed that “the magic wasn’t real,…he was amazed that the ‘whole world’ was able to keep this secret going, and he fell for it.”

Roughly 44 percent of the child participants said they were happy with their discovery because “they would still get presents and because they were right about what they thought [disbelief] about Santa.”

Will you promote or prolong the Santa myth in your house? Before you decide, check out the benefits of believing in Santa Claus.