Fair is Not Always Equal

“Fair is not everyone getting the same thing. Fair is everyone getting what they need to be successful.” -Rick Riordan

Every student needs something slightly different from us in order to reach their academic potential. One student may need extra time on a test, another student may need to take calming breaks throughout the day, and yet another may require extension activities in order to be challenged. Differentiation is necessary for our students to be successful, and accommodating their differing needs and levels is a critical piece of differentiation. So isn’t it strange that we aren’t as comfortable applying that same logic to behavior? Why is it that we feel pressure to respond to unexpected behaviors in the exact same way for each and every student?

Fair is not always equal. This is true for both academics and behavior. There are multiple things to consider when determining how to respond to unexpected behaviors. As Connected Communicators, we are careful to hold all students to high standards and expectations, however, our response varies depending on the circumstance and the individual. It’s important for us to remember that all behavior is communication. When responding to unexpected behaviors, we need to consider what the student was trying to communicate, and what purpose it served.

At times, this can be difficult for other educators to understand. If educators have an expectation that all students will receive the exact same consequence for the same behavior, regardless of the circumstances, then there is bound to be frustration. We find that it’s helpful to clearly articulate to our colleagues that unexpected behaviors will be addressed individually. To be clear- we are not throwing out the behavior matrix! We are using it as a flexible tool that gives us some guardrails on how to respond. In order to maintain trust with other educators in your building, we need to be sure to close the loop with the staff who reported the behavior. Remember to share both how you responded and why. You can help build the Connected Communicator movement by explaining that by holding students accountable, while keeping in mind their individual needs, you are maximizing the students' learning.

A similar conversation is often needed with parents or caregivers, especially when they are trying to establish how a consequence for their child lines up with consequences for another. We all know how tricky it is to partner with a caregiver when they feel their student was wronged in some way and they want to make sure the other student’s consequence was “severe” enough. Of course, we can’t share exactly what we did, but we can let them know that we took the situation seriously, and each students’ behavior was addressed in order for the behavior not to be repeated. Sometimes, it’s helpful to share that we cannot disclose the details of another student’s consequences, in the same way we would not discuss their child’s confidential information with others.

We know that we have to differentiate for our students to meet their academic needs. The same is true for supporting their social, emotional, and behavioral development. Helping the whole school system remember that fair is not equal will allow us to give each student what they need to grow and develop into the amazing humans we know they are.

Are you interested in building a culture of connection in your school community? Yay! We'd love to help. For the month of November, Erika and Tiffany are offering a free, hour-long virtual professional development session with any bulk order of 30 books or more. Reach out here and mention our November PD Special to get the conversation going!

Jimmy Casas interviewed Erika and Tiffany about their book! Watch our conversation below for quick tips and a great conversation to get educators talking about how to be Connected Communicators.

We love sharing the Connected Communicator message! We have a number of events coming up. In January, we will be in Florida at the F.E.T.C. conference. We have a session on January 24th, and then we are excited to connect with attendees at the Meet the Authors event on January 25th. We are hopeful you can join us! We are honored to be virtual presenters at the ESEA Conference in February. This conference is full of amazing presenters and great information. We hope you will register and join us at any or all of these great events!

• FETC Conference, January 24, 2024
• ESEA Conference, February 7, 2024
• Nevada Principals Association, February 10, 2024
• Nevada Principals Association Principals Conference June 16-17, 2024

We have so much fun chatting with some of our favorite Educational Podcasters! We have highlighted Erika's conversation with Sarah Johnson from the In Awe Podcast in this newsletter (click on the image to listen), and you can check out any of our media interviews from our website here.

Check out what our friend Matthew Reynolds, Author of Biggest Fullest Brightest: Shifting the Consciousness of Humanity, had to say about our book!

"Connecting Through Conversation: A Playbook for talking with Students sparked so many ideas that I had to keep a journal as I went along! My biggest take away: this is not just education reform, this is a structure for a new educational system. A system based in the humanity of self, and our students. I would even venture to suggest that these tools can be used in everyday conversations with acquaintances, friends, colleagues, and family. May this book spark your curiosity, and encourage your creativity as it guides you towards more authentic relationships with your students."

Thank you for being a part of the Connected Communicator Movement! Want to do even more to grow a culture of connection in your school? Check out our resources below. Help us grow the Connected Communicator Movement by sharing this newsletter with your colleagues.