Sanchez Newsletter

Dear Parents,

You will see at the very bottom of this newsletter snapshots of some of the October happenings. Boy was it a busy month! Thank you to everyone who made October a successful month. We had many events while engaging in high levels of learning. It is our goal for your children to love school and more importantly, to love learning. Fortunately, we have an extremely engaged staff who is willing to go above and beyond to make school a great place for your and your children. I want to especially thank our PTA, our teachers and the rest of the staff who have worked tirelessly.

On top of all the items below, we had Parent/Teacher conferences. These take a lot of planning and organization. Please ensure that you are helping us help your child improve in any areas they may be struggling in. The sooner we can get students up to where they need to be, the easier and fun school will be for them. More importantly, the more confident they will be as learners so that they can have a great future. Please remember our school's mission below and help us help your children.

The start of this school year was a bit difficult with the behaviors of some students. As a nation, we have seen an increase in negative behaviors since COVID. Thank you to those of you who are working hard to support your child's behavior. I know it's hard being a parent. Every single one of your children is worth the work! Their behavior is often correlated with their achievement. Their academic growth in elementary school is often an indication of how they are going to do in middle and high school and beyond. We have many beautiful stories of our former students going away to colleges all over the United States as they prepare themselves for a great future. The stories we hear are often about students who clearly valued learning, and who were dedicated students at Sanchez. It has not always been the highest achieving students who come back with these stories. It has, however, been those students who were hard workers and respectful to others. I write this because our world has changed so much and I know that you, as their parents, want what's best for them. Below is a chart with employment, salaries and unemployment rates from 2021. The numbers may have changed a bit. I think we're all earning a bit more. The patterns, however, have not changed. They clearly indicate the importance of an education. Here are some ideas on how to help your child be a successful student:

-Ensure your child wears a uniform. This sends the message that school is important and that you, as their parent, prioritize their focus on learning rather than on how they look.

-Ensure that they are not wearing make-up at school or at home including mascara, lip gloss or curled eyelashes. We have become a bit alarmed with how hyper-focused some of our girls are on their looks since this is a common indication of poor self-esteem. We're hearing more and more comments about negative body image. While the following article is written for teens, we are seeing these behaviors in some (not all) of our older girls. I encourage you to read the article from Stanford Medicine Children's Health on helping your daughter boost their body image:

https://www.stanfordchildrens.org/en/topic/default?id=boost-your-teen-daughters-body-image-1-24049

-Ensure they are not wearing long nails. Not only are these inappropriate and unsafe for school, especially during PE and recess, the nails are creating a distraction to their learning and the learning of others.

-Be vigilant and cautious about the time your child is using social media. Here is an article that I found relative to the excessive use of social media for 10 year olds. Most of the studies I found are relative to middle schoolers. This one from Atlantic Health appeared to be very comprehensive siting studies from various reputable organizations: https://ahs.atlantichealth.org/about-us/stay-connected/news/content-central/2024/10-facts-about-kids-and-teens-on-social-media.html

-Encourage your child to use respectful sportsmanship during games. As a school that uses PlayWorks on the playground, we encourage students to use the phrase "Good job, nice try."

-Always speak positively about the school staff. There may be times you disagree with someone on our staff, that's part of human nature Sharing that information with a child, however, can have negative impacts. It not only undermines the authority of the staff, it also teaches children that it's okay to be disrespectful in their behaviors and sometimes with their words toward the adults.

-Never allow your child to use disrespectful language or a disrespectful tone towards you or someone else. This surprisingly, can be very easy to fix. If your child, at any time, uses a disrespectful tone or language with you, let them know (in a stearn and calm voice) that you cannot speak with them until they calm down. Walk away or send them to their room. DO NOT ENGAGE IN A BACK AND FORTH WITH THEM. This gives the message that you are not in charge and demonstrates that anger and aggressive language is okay in your home and/or with you. Once you have seen that your child has calmed down, tell them that they are welcome to come talk to you when they are ready to speak with you respectfully. DO NOT IGNORE THEM ONCE THEY TELL YOU THEY ARE READY since this can undermine their ability to trust you. This usually fixes itself pretty quickly but know that it could take several times and it may appear from time to time. Make sure to always use the stearn, respectful tone to stop it.

-Model and teach respectful behavior. The following ideas about modeling respect are taken from the article from Preventing Child Abuse linked here: https://preventchildabuse.org/resources/model-respectful-behavior/

A powerful way to teach your children respect is to model showing respect to others. One of the best ways to accomplish this is to show your children that you respect them.

Some suggestions include:

• Apologize to children when you are wrong: It’s good to teach your children that it’s OK to make mistakes and admit it, but more importantly, if you want your child to show respect to others, you must show it to them first! Lead by example.
• Be courteous in every-day situations: Whether it’s the clerk at the grocery store, a teller at a bank, or random passers-by on the street, treating everyone you come across with respect and decency is something your child will notice and emulate.
• Recognize when your child shows empathy: Make sure your child knows you’re proud of them when they treat others with empathy and caring. Positive reinforcement can go a long way towards cementing good behavior.

Teaching Your Child Self-Control

Medically reviewed by: Lauren M. O'Donnell, PsyD

Learn About Behavioral Health (Psychology and Psychiatry) at Nemours Children's Health

When kids melt down in the middle of a crowded store, at a holiday dinner with extended family, or at home, it can be extremely frustrating. But parents can help kids learn self-control and teach them how to respond without just acting on impulse.

Teaching self-control is one of the most important things that parents can do for their kids because these skills are some of the most important for success later in life.

Helping Kids Learn Self-Control

By learning self-control, kids can make appropriate decisions and respond to stressful situations in ways that can yield positive outcomes.

For example, if you say that you're not serving ice cream until after dinner, your child may cry, plead, or even scream in the hopes that you will give in. But with self-control, your child can understand that a temper tantrum means you'll take away the ice cream for good and that it's wiser to wait patiently.

Here are a few suggestions on how to help kids learn to control their behavior:

Up to Age 2

Infants and toddlers get frustrated by the large gap between the things they want to do and what they're able to do. They often respond with temper tantrums. Try to prevent outbursts by distracting your little one with toys or other activities.

For kids reaching the 2-year-old mark, try a brief time-out in a designated area — like a kitchen chair or bottom stair — to show the consequences for outbursts and teach that it's better to take some time alone instead of throwing a tantrum.

Ages 3 to 5

You can continue to use time-outs, but rather than setting a specific time limit, end time-outs when your child calms down. This helps kids improve their sense of self-control. And it's just as important to praise your child for not losing control in frustrating or difficult situations by saying things like, "I like how you stayed calm" or "Good job keeping your cool."

Ages 6 to 9

As kids enter school, they're better able to understand the idea of consequences and that they can choose good or bad behavior. It may help your child to imagine a stop sign that must be obeyed and think about a situation before responding. Encourage your child to walk away from a frustrating situation for a few minutes to cool off instead of having an outburst. Praise kids when they do walk away and cool off — they'll be more likely to use those skills in the future.

Ages 10 to 12

Older kids usually better understand their feelings. Encourage them to think about what's causing them to lose control and then analyze it. Explain that sometimes situations that are upsetting at first don't end up being so awful. Urge kids to take time to think before responding to a situation. Help them to understand that it's not the situation that's upset them — it's what they think about the situation that makes them angry. Compliment them as they use their self-control skills.

Ages 13 to 17

By now kids should be able to control most of their actions. But remind teens to think about long-term consequences. Urge them to pause to evaluate upsetting situations before responding and talk through problems rather than losing control, slamming doors, or yelling. If necessary, discipline your teen by taking away certain privileges to reinforce the message that self-control is an important skill. Allow him or her to earn the privileges back by demonstrating self-control.

When Kids Are Out of Control

As difficult as it may be, resist the urge to yell when you're disciplining your kids. Instead, be firm and matter of fact. During a child's meltdown, stay calm and explain that yelling, throwing a tantrum, and slamming doors are unacceptable behaviors that have consequences — and say what those consequences are.

Your actions will show that tantrums won't get kids the upper hand. For example, if your child gets upset in the grocery store after you've explained why you won't buy candy, don't give in — thus demonstrating that the tantrum was both unacceptable and ineffective.

Also, consider speaking to your child's teachers about classroom settings and appropriate behavior expectations. Ask if problem-solving is taught or demonstrated in school.

And model good self-control yourself. If you're in an irritating situation in front of your kids, tell them why you're frustrated and then discuss potential solutions to the problem. For example, if you've misplaced your keys, instead of getting upset, tell your kids the keys are missing and then search for them together. If they don't turn up, take the next constructive step (like retracing your steps when you last had the keys in-hand). Show that good emotional control and problem solving are the ways to deal with a difficult situation.

If you continue to have difficulties, ask your doctor if family counseling sessions might help.

Medically reviewed by: Lauren M. O'Donnell, PsyD

Date reviewed: June 2018