Welcome to Quarter 2! We start of the quarter with our November monthly theme of: Gratitude.

Gratitude involves showing appreciation for the things in life that are meaningful or valuable to you. Taking a moment to notice and acknowledge the things you're grateful for each day can brighten your outlook, boost your mood, and help you feel more positive in the face of challenges. We have and will continue to ask your child(ren) to practice gratitude in a variety of ways throughout the month of November. We have also included a fun activity for you to try at home!

Also, in this newsletter will include:

• A message from our school social worker
• The Science of Gratitude and how it can improve your overall well-being
• Tips and Resources on managing anxiety and worry at home and at school
• Resources from our HS/MS Social Worker
• Time Management Strategies for your middle schooler
• Podcasts for Parents and more!

As always, if you have any questions or concerns please don't hesitate to reach out.

Kindly,

Tamrah Rouleau

MS Counseling Team:

Jodi Callinan, Counseling Director

Tamrah Rouleau, Middle School Counselor

Kaitlyn Schena, NJSHS Social Worker

Amanda Nieves, School Psychologist

Sam Scarfo, School Counselor

Manya Cetlin, Counseling Admin / Registrar

Hello!

We are quickly coming up on the holiday season, which can be both fun, and stressful, for everyone!

If your family is in need this holiday season, please feel free to reach out to me and we can discuss options that may be available! Lamprey Health Care in Newmarket is doing their annual Holiday Assistance which you can access by calling Lamprey directly at (603) 659-3106. If you need help with heating, you can call SNHS at (603) 436-3896. You can also find a more comprehensive list of community resources here.

If your family or company is looking to support other Newmarket families, please let me know! We have programs in place to facilitate any donations.

Looking forward to an excellent second quarter!

Kaitlyn Schena, LICSW

schenak@newmarket.k12.nh.us

As with the beginning of any year, changes can infiltrate our routines, and this year is no different. To help ensure your child finds success this year, here are some things to consider:

· Communicate with your child’s teachers- ask your child questions, clarify classwork and homework expectations, attend the open house, inform teachers of anything happening at home that may affect your child at school. Teachers are better able to meet you and your child’s needs when they are able to openly and honestly communicate with you.

· Communicate with your child- remember to ask your child about his/her school day, their homework, their friends, and anything else they wish to share with you. They may have important insight and information to share with you. Let their voice be heard!

· Parents, get involved- at Newmarket Middle School, there are a variety of ways that both parents and students can get involved. Parents can attend PTO meetings and volunteer at various events throughout the year. Our parent network is what makes us strong!

· Students, get involved- In addition, we urge our students to also get involved in extracurricular activities such as sports teams, clubs, ambassadors, etc. Your child will have an even greater experience in middle school by discovering his/her likes and passions through these activities!

We will be providing lessons and resources surrounding monthly themes. These themes are focused on positive character traits that all tie into students Being Kind, Being Strong, and Being Well.

Be Kind

Social skills like listening, friendship, solving conflicts, and leadership.

These skills are taught alongside Empathy, Respect, & Cooperation

Be Strong

Skills that help students focus, stay organized, and set goals.

These skills are taught alongside Responsibility, Courage, & Perseverance

Be Well

Skills that help students handle their emotions and deal with stress.

The monthly themes for Q2 are:

November: Gratitude
December: Empathy (including generosity)
January: Perseverance

Instructions: Sit down as a family, could be at dinner time, and choose a conversation starter or two. Give it some time... this process will become richer the more you implement it. Once you get the hang of it, encourage family members to create their own conversation starters!

• What does Gratitude mean to you?
• What is something you are grateful for every day?
• When you show Gratitude, how does it make you feel?
• When someone shows you Gratitude, how does it make you feel?
• What is a sound/taste/smell that makes you are Grateful for?
• Share a time that someone showed you Gratitude, what did they do?
• Who is someone in our lives that we could show more Gratitude towards?
• What gets in the way of us showing Gratitude to others?
• How can we help each other remember to show Gratitude?
• What has made you laugh lately that you are Grateful for?
• What is a strength you have that you are Grateful for?
• Name something cute you are grateful for.
• What is something that makes you feel peaceful?
• Name something you are grateful for that makes you smile.
• Who is someone who helps you see the good in situations?
• Think about your day, who is someone that you are grateful for? How can you show them?
• Did someone show you gratitude today? What did they do?
• Is there a time when you were hoping for some gratitude shown to you and didn’t get it? How did that make you feel?
• What is a gratitude goal you can set for tomorrow?
• Is there something in your life that you think you should be more grateful for?

Anxiety is another word for feeling worried or scared. It's normal for children and teens to feel anxious sometimes, like before a big test at school or talking in front of a group of people. But if your child's anxiety gets in the way of normal activities, such as sleeping alone at night, playing outside or going to school, they may need extra support.

The good news is that there are things you can do to help prevent your child from feeling anxious and help them handle worries when they happen. Talk with your pediatrician to discuss strategies and tips that can help.

What are some common signs of anxiety in children?

If your child is feeling anxious, they may not be able to tell you. Your child may feel bad or sick without knowing why, or you may notice they seem restless or tired.

• Feeling as if their heart is racing

• Sweating or blushing

• Shaking or feeling sick to their stomach

• Feeling very cold or hot

• Trouble paying attention or sitting still

• Touching the crotch area (for young boys)

How can I help my child manage anxiety at home?

These tips are helpful for all children, but they can be especially helpful for children with anxiety. Parenting is a busy job, so use your judgment about which tips make the most sense for your family.

Connect with your child

• Set aside one-on-one time every day without TV or other media. Even just 10 minutes each day can make a big difference. Try gardening or taking care of houseplants, drawing or going for a bike ride.

• Praise your child and make them feel good about themselves. For example, "You did a great job on that homework assignment!" or "Thank you for helping me with the laundry. I'm so lucky to have your help."

• Find out what's worrying your child, because stress can make them feel anxious. Things such as being bullied at school, divorce, or a death in the family can make a child feel anxious. Your child may need extra help to handle issues such as these.

Help your child learn to manage fears:

When your child is calm, start a conversation about things they can do to manage fears and worries when they happen. For example, let them know that they can

• Practice deep breathing and muscle relaxation.

• Use positive self-talk (for example, "I can try this" instead of "I can't do this").

• Think of a safe place, such as their bedroom or favorite place outdoors.

• Gradually facing fears. Consider gradually exposing your child to feared objects or activities.

• Praise and reward brave behavior: the goal is to cope, not avoid.

Build healthy habits to support mood

Healthy lifestyle habits can help reduce stress and support a positive mood.

• Get active! Encourage your child to be active for at least an hour every day. This activity can include playing outside, joining a sports team or an activity at the YMCA, biking or walking to school, or dancing at home to favorite music.

• Eat healthy. Eat healthy meals every day, including fruits and vegetables, whole grains, and protein foods. Remember to eat breakfast!

• Get plenty of sleep. School-aged children need 9 to 12 hours of sleep every night, and teens need 8 to 10 hours.

• Build a family media plan to set healthy guidelines around entertainment screen time. Avoid scary or violent TV shows, video games, and movies.
  

• Set up family routines. Follow a regular schedule for playtime, mealtime, and bedtime. Knowing what to expect can help your child feel safe and secure.

How can I help my child manage school anxiety?

Children may find it hard to focus on or even go to school when they're feeling worried. If your child is having trouble in school, try these ways to help.

• Gently but firmly tell your child why it's important to go to school.

• Talk with your child's teachers and the guidance counselor about what to do if your child asks to go home from school early.

• If you think your child may be upset by family stress or pressure to do well in school, let them know they are doing a good job and you're proud of them.

• Help your child set realistic goals for school. If they set goals that are too hard to meet, they may feel worse about themselves.
  

• Remind your child that they can take steps to control their worries. For example, they can think about what to do ahead of time to handle a stressful situation.

• Reward your child's brave behaviors at school. Spending time doing fun activities with a parent is a very powerful reward.

Remember, you know your child best.

Whether it's at school or the doctor's office, you are your child's biggest advocate. Don't hesitate to speak up on behalf of your child.

When do I need to go back to the doctor?

If your child's anxiety doesn't go away or gets worse, get back in touch with the doctor. You and the doctor can make a plan to try new approaches or strategies with your child.

It's especially important to talk with your child's doctor if:

• Your child starts to experience other behavior problems, such as shyness.

• Something scary happens in your child's life that may make their anxiety worse, such as an injury or death in the family.

• You suspect your child's anxiety is affecting another medical condition (for example, if your child's asthma gets worse with anxiety).

The doctor can also help you decide whether visiting a specialist may help. For example, a type of therapy called cognitive behavioral therapy can be helpful for children with anxiety.

Make time to care for yourself, too.

Parenting can be stressful.

If you're feeling overwhelmed, don't be afraid to ask for support from family, close friends, social services, or your faith community. Children pick up on the stress and worries of adults, so getting support for yourself can help your child too.

Additional Resources:

• How to Talk About Mental Health With Your Child and Their Pediatrician
  
• Reading Writing & Resilience: Addressing Back-to-School Anxiety (HealthyChildren.org parent webinar)
  
• Anxiety: 5 Interesting Facts to Know (AAP Teen-to-Teen video)
  
• Anxiety Disorders Resource Center (American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry)
  
• National Federation of Families for Children's Mental Health

Source Adapted from Addressing Mental Health Concerns in Pediatrics: A Practical Resource Toolkit for Clinicians, 2nd edition (Copyright © 2021 American Academy of Pediatrics)

The information contained on this Web site should not be used as a substitute for the medical care and advice of your pediatrician. There may be variations in treatment that your pediatrician may recommend based on individual facts and circumstances.

Henry David Thoreau once wrote, “Time is but the stream I go a-fishing in.” Although many of us feel we lack the time we need to get everything done – that there simply aren’t enough hours in the day – Thoreau reminds us of the importance of living at our own pace and learning to use time to our advantage.

As a school counselor, time management is among the most common concerns voiced by parents and students. Students these days are perhaps busier than ever before: between academics and a barrage of extracurricular commitments, how can your child expect to keep up the juggling act and manage to get enough rest?

This is especially true at the middle school level, which is fraught with new expectations; for many students, this is their first experience with moving between classes, subject-specific teachers, and such a significant workload. At this age, students have to learn how to learn most efficiently.

In this post, I outline strategies for developing a proactive approach to time management and study skills. The transition to middle school can be intimidating, but by developing a concrete study schedule, your child will gain greater control over their time and work more confidently through new material.

Here’s how to get started:

1) Establish a starting point.

When I begin working with new students, this is one of our first exercises. Although relatively simple, I find that it allows students to take stock of how they currently use their time and to identify areas where they might work with greater focus and organization. The aim is twofold: a) to identify competing time commitments, and b) to set concrete priorities moving forward.

On a blank piece of paper, have your child list their commitments. Note how many hours they spend at soccer practice, religious education, music, etc. during the week. For each subject, review a course syllabus to estimate how much homework they receive per night.

2) Develop a schedule.

While it is one thing to create a schedule, a plan is only as useful as its execution. By helping your child to develop a schedule that they can stick to, you will help them to gain control over their time and enable them to work more purposefully through assignments.

A few suggestions for creating an effective schedule:

• TASK-ORIENTED: Help your child develop a realistic schedule by focusing on tasks. In emphasizing what they must accomplish each night – as well as during the week – you’ll help your student to improve their concentration in pursuit of specific, concrete goals.
• CONSISTENT: If possible, carve out a nightly time for the completion of homework; this will establish accountability while enabling your child to internalize a study routine.
• MANAGEABLE: Break it down by subject. Especially at the beginning, create conditions that will allow your child to acclimate to a new schedule. For example, you might suggest that they begin each day with the most daunting subject and work towards those they finds less difficult. Or, they might dedicate a small window to long-term projects, such as lingering tests or presentations. By breaking down large assignments into individual tasks with deadlines over a period of a few days/weeks, such projects will feel more manageable and will be less likely to be left until the last minute.

3) Get Involved. Create conditions for success.

• Use a PLANNER: Have your student keep a record of homework assignments, impending tests, and due dates. By writing them out, you can be confident that your child is not merely relying on memory, and that they understand the scope and purpose of each assignment before leaving class. Remind them to cross off tasks as they complete them; this affords both a measure of accountability and satisfaction. This blog post about getting organized (written by a homework tutor for middle school students in NYC), is another great resource to explore.
• ELIMINATE DISTRACTIONS: If possible, choose a homework spot that is free from distractions. While studying, try and minimize your child’s use of television and other technology (aside from what is necessary for his assignments). They will learn more –and do so more efficiently – if completely focused on the task at hand.
• Keep SUPPLIES handy: Ensure that your child has the necessary materials to complete their homework, i.e. pens/pencils, paper, calculator, etc. By storing these in an accessible location, you eliminate time wasted looking for supplies on a daily basis.
• Suggest that your student PACK at NIGHT and Charge their Chromebook: After completing his homework, have your child pack their backpack before going to bed. It is easy to misplace individual papers, so ensure that he stores his assignments in the proper folders and puts everything away for the morning. Also, get into the habit of charging their Chromebook at night with easy storage in their backpack first thing in the morning.
  
  

A strong repertoire of study skills is critical to academic success, whether in high school, college, or at the graduate level. By focusing on time management sooner rather than later, your child will develop lifelong habits that will serve them well as they balances competing obligations and encounters new material!

Counseling Office Direct Number: 603-292-7946