We continue to use this month to honor and celebrate Dr. King’s work in searching for peaceful solutions to end racial injustice and inequality. At its core, his mission was to advocate for a truly inclusive nation fueled by his belief that all people should be treated with fairness, equality, love and respect. We want to provide you with some ways you can foster inclusiveness with your children in your day to day, to reinforce the discussions occurring in school, at home.
Model inclusive behavior- Not to place added pressure, but parent’s really are a child’s first teacher and children learn how to act and interact with others by observing our words and actions. It's crucial for us to be the type of person we want our children to become. Celebrate differences, use respectful language when talking about people from all backgrounds, and avoid reinforcing stereotypes. If you treat all people with kindness and respect, chances are your child will too.
Build Self Esteem and Empathy-Nurture your own positive self image. Studies show that children with high self-esteem are more likely to be accepting of others. Rather than following the crowd, they’ll stand up for what they believe is right. Give your children opportunities to feel capable and competent. Show through both words and actions that they are loved and valued. Teach your children empathy by having natural discussions about feelings and noticing the feelings of others.
Be Prepared to Answer Questions- Talk about diversity openly and casually, so children don't get a sense that there is something negative or uncomfortable about being different. If you don’t have an answer or are not sure, don't be afraid to say it. Revisit the conversation when you have the facts and can discuss it in an age appropriate manner that the child can understand.
Prepare for Various Scenarios
Your child refers to differences as “weird”...
Sometimes, your child’s question might be about something they perceive as “weird.” For example, your child might say, “Why do some people talk weird?”
Explain, “Well, they might be from somewhere else and have an accent. Or they could be speaking in a different language. That doesn’t make them weird, just different.” Emphasize to your child that there is no “normal” and “weird” or “us” and “them.”
Your child uses inappropriate terms when discussing differences…
Gently correct them and provide a better alternative. Avoid judgment or reprimands. Your child wants to learn and is simply being inquisitive, not coming from a place of prejudice or cruelty.
Your child asks about differences in public...
Sometimes, our children also ask about differences in public. This can be uncomfortable, but children often don’t understand social norms and are unaware they’re being impolite.
Apologize for your child if necessary. Then provide a simple and positive response like, “Yes, the world is a very big place and not everyone looks like you. Our differences make the world more interesting.”
When you’re back in the car or at home, provide more in-depth information if needed. You should also teach your child that asking questions about other people in public can be hurtful. Say, “If you have a question, you can ask Mom or Dad later and we’ll talk about it.”
Expose Children to Diverse Experiences and People
Diverse experiences and people normalize differences for children. Exposure and education, teach children to celebrate the diversity that enriches our world. It increases understanding and removes the confusion, fear, or “otherness” that often leads to prejudice. Some experiences you may want to consider are the following:
Visit museums and cultural institutions.
Attend cultural events in your area.
Give your children opportunities to be around people from diverse backgrounds.
If possible, travel to new and different places.
It’s also very important to actively push past your comfort zone so children understand that there’s no “right way” or “normal way” to be. We often live in neighborhoods or belong to social circles of people who look like us, believe in similar things, have similar jobs and incomes, etc.
When you’re at home, you can also engage in the following activities:
Choose media that actively represents and celebrates diversity.
Select dolls of varying races and ethnicities.
Buy a globe so you can talk to your child about the many different places in the world.
Read books that explore other cultures and ideas.
Read stories about interesting people and role models from different and diverse backgrounds.
Emphasize Similarities
It’s also important to emphasize similarities, while teaching about differences. You can explain to your child that although people are different, we all share the experience of being human. For our very concrete preschoolers this may just mean explaining that we all have a body, we all need clothing to be warm and food to nourish our bodies. We can follow up by discussing our social emotional needs, like we all need love, we all feel happy,sad, scared, angry, want to make friends and have fun. We have to remind children it’s the way we treat others and the choices we make that are far more important. A great book I used when my children were small to reinforce this was “Whoever You Are” by Mem Fox.
Read Books That Celebrate Differences
When in doubt use a book, I find that when I struggle explaining a topic to children I can always use a good book to help me guide the conversation. Here are a few other great books to continue to help you foster inclusiveness.
We hope you find some of these tips helpful. After all, it really does begin with us as parents and it is so important for those of us who are tasked with the job of raising tiny humans to not ignore and instead teach them to recognize, honor, respect and appreciate all the colors and cultures that make our world so beautiful.
