Mental Matters

WARNING: Below is a personal rant that comes to you from the land of momma bear worries. Read at your own risk.

I've recently been on the quest of introducing my daughter, a high school sophomore, to the wild world of social media. And let me tell you, the worry levels are off the charts! As someone who is submerged in the realm of mental health, I know all too well the havoc social media can wreak on young, impressionable minds. I find myself questioning whether she's emotionally ready to navigate this digital jungle.

I am teeming with worries! Early exposure can be a slippery slope to anxiety, depression, and self-esteem issues—yikes! I worry about her privacy and safety. I’m also concerned about social media becoming a distraction, stunting her ability to develop her face to face relationships.

When she insists, "Everyone has Snapchat, Instagram, or TikTok!" I counter with, "Not everyone—because you count, and you don’t have it… yet." And now, here we are, staring down the ominous "YET."

I know I’ll have to loosen the reins soon, letting her dip her toes in so she can master the art of social media before she graduates and flies the coop. If you’re in the same boat, I’ve found a resource through Road to Social that offers free materials for those social media training wheels. Just click the image below for more info. And if you’ve got any pearls of wisdom to share, send them my way!

Sincerely, The LONE Holdout of the Social Media Age

In November, the Sunflower House will be visiting Mission Trail to provide personal safety presentations. These age-appropriate lessons cover a range of topics, including the anatomically correct names for private parts and internet safety. The presentations are conducted collaboratively by the teacher, the school counselor, and a representative from the Sunflower House, utilizing various methods tailored to the developmental levels of the students. See below for more details based on your child's age group.

On November 18th (kindergarten) and November 19th (1st grade) we will welcome a special visitor, “Happy Bear.” Happy Bear is the main character in an entertaining, interactive 30-minute live play. During the performance, the students will teach Happy Bear about a very important type of safety -- personal safety.

Happy Bear is part of P.S. It’s My Body! which is a child abuse prevention program at Sunflower House, a center that serves Wyandotte and Johnson Counties. Sunflower House has performed the Happy Bear play for more than 35 years in area elementary schools and preschools. A trained Sunflower House staff member will present the program, which will discuss recognizing welcome and unwelcome touches, anatomically correct names for private parts (breast, chest, bottom, vagina, penis), using resistance skills (say “No,” move away), and identifying trusted adults to tell about inappropriate touches. The play incorporates humor and audience participation to allow children to teach Happy Bear about personal safety.

Statistics tell us that approximately one in ten children will be the victim of sexual abuse before their 18th birthday, and that one-third of sexual abuse victims are age six or younger. Research demonstrates that by teaching children about personal safety, they are more likely to tell an adult about an inappropriate touch. Happy Bear will discuss these important messages with your student in a fun, informative format.

By talking with our young children about these important safety issues, we will create a safer community for all children. If you have further questions about the Happy Bear program, please refer to the Happy Bear Section of this website:

Sunflowerhouse.org- Happy Bear. There you will be able to view examples of the Happy Bear play and read supporting information.

Sunflower House, a child abuse prevention center, has provided personal safety education for more than 35 years in area schools. A trained Sunflower House educator will be visiting your child’s class to present the program, Think First & Stay Safe: Safe & Healthy Boundaries which uses lessons that emphasize it is a crime for anyone- even a peer- to overstep personal or digital boundaries. Personal safety programs help children recognize they get to decide when/if they feel uncomfortable, private parts are to be kept private, and they are not to give unwelcome touches to others (ask before sharing touches). It helps children identify trusted adults and assures them that bullying, and abuse are never a targeted child’s fault. Students learn that they can play an important role in keeping their bodies safe. Think First & Stay Safe™ program aligns with recommendations in the guidelines for personal safety programs established by the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children (NCMEC), as well as National Health Education Standards.

By talking with our young children about these important safety issues, we will create a safer community for all children. If you have further questions about the program, please contact Sunflower House at 913-631-5800 or visit www.sunflower house.org. Sunflower House staff is also available to support you in discussing personal safety with your child, contact us for developmentally appropriate discussion ideas, books, and support.

Topics in the Think First & Stay Safe Curriculum:

• 2nd Grade: Laws Help Protect Me; Secrets/Surprises...November 19
• 3rd Grade: Finding Help and Internet Safety...November 18
• 4th Grade: Personal Safety and Internet Safety ...November 14
• 5th Grade: Secrets, Threats & Lures and Internet Safety...November 14

FREE for Parents and Caregivers

Child Protection Project This presentation is for parents and caregivers on child sexual abuse awareness in our community, safety tips and effective methods to talk with children about personal safety.

Keeping Kids Safe Online Learn more about the possible dangers of internet usage, practical safety tips and tools as well as the cybercrime reporting process.

Last week, the kindergarteners learned the difference between bullying, conflict, and mean moments. Most of their situations are "mean moments," not because they're being mean, but because they’re still developing social skills. We want them to become independent problem solvers for kid-sized issues. They were taught five strategies for what to do when someone is bugging you; which includes: 1. ignore, 2. move away, 3. ask friendly, 4. ask firmly, and if needed, 5. tell an adult. The kids also made a "bug jar" with fingerprint bugs that included these steps as a reminder of the lesson, which can help them problem-solve at home too!

The first graders started with a review of the difference between true bullying, conflict, and mean moments, along with our chant and hand motions for the five things to do when someone is bugging you. I emphasized that while conflicts and mean moments don’t disappear as we grow older, we get better at handling them with practice. We wrapped up the lesson by reading the book One by Kathryn Otoshi, which tells the story of how it just takes one person to stand up against bullying and make a positive difference. This book is always a class favorite!

The second graders marked National Bully Prevention Month by reviewing the differences between bullying, mean moments, and conflicts. They shared their thoughts on how to handle different scenarios I presented. We then played an interactive game, where students identified whether each situation involved bullying, a mean moment, or a conflict, and discussed how they would respond in real life. We wrapped up with a reflection, reinforcing that while bullying requires an adult's help, conflicts and mean moments can often be resolved by listening, talking it out, and finding a compromise.

This week the third graders focused on effective communication for problem-solving during conflicts. The students explored the best approach—assertive communication—not passive (too mushy) or aggressive (too pushy), but just right. They created an Emotion Potions flip book with sentence starters to help express their feelings during conflicts. The formula they practiced is: first, state your feeling ("I feel..."), then describe the situation without judgment ("when..."), and finally, ask for what you'd prefer ("could you please..."). They applied this in action through role playing with a game called Magic Circle.

The fourth graders continued their author study of Erin Frankel, whose work covers the dynamics between a bully, a target, and a bystander. Her series, a favorite among our students, explores these perspectives through three books. This week we focused on Dare, which tells the story from the bystander's viewpoint, showing how one can feel torn between staying silent or standing up. We also continued our poetry activity, where students were invited to write "I am..." poems from the bystander's perspective. These will be displayed in the front hall, adding to our previous display from the first book. I hope you got to see them during conferences last week! The students are excited to explore the final book in the series during our next lesson!

In fifth grade, the focus was on communication. Students reflected on how they communicate in various situations and learned about passive, assertive, and aggressive communication styles. I compared these to ocean waves: passive communication is like a gentle wave that keeps feelings below the surface and lets others decide; aggressive communication is a roaring wave, loud and overpowering, often leaving others hurt or intimidated; assertive communication is a steady, strong wave that moves forward with purpose, expressing thoughts and feelings clearly and respectfully. The class practiced these styles in age-appropriate scenarios, while playing Choose Your Wave, acting out the three types of responses to different situations.

1. Can you think of a time when you were passive in a situation? How did it make you feel afterward?
2. How do you deal when someone communicates with you in an aggressive way?
3. Why is it important to use assertive communication when solving problems with friends?
4. How do you think your body language changes when you’re being assertive versus aggressive?
5. What words or phrases can you use to be assertive without hurting someone’s feelings?

Below, you'll find a selection of focused attention practices designed to either calm or energize. These brief activities include intentional breathing to soothe the brain’s limbic system, enhancing emotional regulation and executive functioning for calming. Alternatively, activities featuring novelty, rhythms, patterns, and movement create a state of relaxed alertness, preparing the brain for optimal learning.

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Butterfly Hug: Bilateral Tapping

Here’s how it works:

1. Position Yourself: Sit comfortably in a chair with your feet flat on the ground. Take a moment to relax and take a few deep breaths.
2. Create the Butterfly Hug: Cross your arms over your chest so that your hands rest on your shoulders. Your left hand should touch your right shoulder, and your right hand should touch your left shoulder, creating a "butterfly" shape.
3. Begin Tapping: Gently tap your hands on your shoulders alternately. Start by tapping your right hand on your left shoulder, then your left hand on your right shoulder. Find a rhythm that feels comfortable for you.
4. Focus on Breathing: As you tap, take slow, deep breaths. Inhale deeply through your nose, and exhale slowly through your mouth. Focus on your breath as you continue the tapping.
5. Continue for a Few Minutes: Keep tapping for 2 to 5 minutes, maintaining your breathing and focus. You can also incorporate positive affirmations or calming thoughts during this time. When you’re ready to finish, gradually slow your tapping down and take a few more deep breaths.

Here’s why it works:

Bilateral tapping works by engaging both hemispheres of the brain through alternating stimulation. This rhythmic tapping calms the nervous system by activating the parasympathetic response, which reduces stress and promotes focus. It shifts attention to physical sensations, grounding the mind in the present moment and enhancing the connection between body and brain. This method is often used to reduce anxiety and improve concentration during tasks and can promote focus and calm.

On July 1, 2023, the Every Child Can Read Act took effect in Kansas, aiming to enhance literacy initiatives and ensure that students meet grade-level benchmarks by third grade. In Blue Valley, we emphasize the importance of partnering with families and delivering high-quality, evidence-based instruction grounded in the science of reading. Instead of confining discussions about reading progress to third grade, we focus on this at every grade level. You can find a summary of the Act provided by KSDE here.

Ruby Bridges Walk to School Day honors the legacy of Ruby Bridges. This encourages students, families, and communities to walk together to school, fostering a spirit of inclusion and understanding. Celebrating this day on November 14 allows us to reflect on the importance of coming together as a community.

Life can be unpredictable, mental health conditions can be too. While no one wants to think about crisis situations, but they happen. Below is a list of support lines that you can add to your contact list. When you need help, please call. We all need help sometimes, and it’s okay to reach out.

To help alleviate food insecurity, Mission Trail Elementary has partnered with Community for Kids to provide one bag of non-perishable food items each week during the school year for participating children. Bags are typically distributed at school each Friday, except during breaks. Participation is free and optional. If you would like to participate, simply email Amber Grice, MTE’s social worker, and tell her that you would like a food bag each week. No other information is needed, and you can easily stop at any time.

argrice@bluevalleyk12.com