MN National Guard BTYR Bulletin

In honor of Month of the Military Spouse, four Minnesota National Guard spouses share their thoughts and experiences on military life.

Elizabeth Bradshaw is the spouse of Army Maj. Justin Bradshaw, 34th Infantry Division. The Bradshaws have three children -- Piper, 9; Arlo, 3; and Estelle, who passed away as an infant six years ago. Elizabeth volunteers with the Soldier & Family Readiness Specialists team by managing its social media and providing information to families.

What does Month of the Military Spouse mean to you?

Month of the Military Spouse is meaningful to me because there is a lot of sacrifices that families have to make in order to support their soldiers. Knowing that there is a month to honor what we do to ensure our service members can complete their missions makes me feel proud of our role.

What are the challenges of being a military spouse?

Oh, so many! Since we are parents, the hardest part for me is solo parenting when he is gone. It is an incredible mental load to carry and all of the day-to-day tasks fall to the spouse at home. Luckily, we have an incredible support system through family, friends, colleagues, and neighbors, but it is still tough. It is also challenging to not have your person around to talk to about anything and everything. You have to get creative to find ways to connect, especially while they are away.

What are the positives of being a military spouse?

I think the most positive thing about being a military spouse is the community that can come along with it. It isn’t always automatic and you sometimes have to seek it out, but I’ve met some wonderful people through my husband’s military service. I’m also proud of what our family has weathered together and the service we have provided to our country.

What message would you like to give to other military spouses?

Hang on tight and take a deep breath! Being a military spouse is not always easy, but you have to always keep a frame of reference in mind that it is worth it. Your spouse, your marriage, and your family are worth it. Seek out other military spouses to connect with. Don’t try to do it alone. Having someone to go to who gets it is priceless.

What do you want the public to know about military spouses and how can others support them?

Be patient, be flexible, and be supportive. Don’t put the burden on them by asking what you can do to help them. Sometimes we don’t know and it changes day by day. Instead, ask if Wednesday or Thursday would be better to drop off a meal. Offer to take their dog on a walk on a Saturday morning, or mow their lawn. Take it upon yourself to do something for them, within reason, without overwhelming them, crossing a boundary, or having them expend any energy to figure it out.

Is there anything else you’d like to add?

I appreciate all the organizations that support soldiers and their families like Beyond the Yellow Ribbon. It’s comforting to know so many communities and businesses have our back and are thankful for what we do.

Air Force veteran Megan Della Rossa was a staff sergeant who served in various roles, including in maintenance data analysis and personnel and retention. She was also a specialist in the Airman & Family Readiness Program. Her spouse is Air Force Master Sgt. Dane Della Rossa, 148th Fighter Wing Aviation Maintenance Squadron. They have four children -- Delaney, 10; Elijah, 7; Beau, 7; and Jace, 5.

What does Month of the Military Spouse mean to you?

It's assuring that we're seen and appreciated. There's a lot that comes with being a military spouse -- long hours, extra trainings, temporary duties, deployments, exercises, and events. While we did say 'yes' to this when we said 'yes' to our spouse, it's still a heavy load to carry. It's a nice feeling knowing that it doesn't all go unnoticed.

What are the challenges of being a military spouse?

For me, being a mom while my spouse is deployed or away at trainings is incredibly tough. He's an incredible father and our kids love him so much. He's the one that gets on the ground and wrestles with them, has Nerf wars, bounces on the trampoline, and is just overall really good at playing. So, when he's away, my kids are longing for it and I can try my hardest to fill that gap, but it's difficult when you're also dealing with all of the day-to-day tasks, appointments, phone calls, paperwork, and work. And I won't forget to mention that I miss my spouse, too. I miss our connection and our companionship. I miss having him there to lean on. So not only am I missing my spouse, but I'm also trying to be there for my kids as they miss their father.

What are the positives of being a military spouse?

The connections that are made with other military families! We get each other. We understand what we're going through for the most part. We can talk about the highs, lows, and everything in between without confusing each other with acronyms and terms that civilian families would not likely know.

What message would you like to give to other military spouses?

None of us are perfect. None of us know exactly how to get through those times when our spouses are gone. Each experience is unique to you and your family every single day. Just keep showing up, support your spouse as much as you can, and receive support as much as you can. Another tip I think that is so important is to keep locations, date, and times related to deployments and trips confidential. Do not share any of it on social media that your spouse is gone or when they're getting back. We don't want to put their mission in jeopardy and let that information fall into the wrong hands.

What would you like the public to know about military spouses?

We're a strong, resilient group. We like to think we have it all together. Please check in on your military spouses while their service member is deployed. Stop by, hang out, let them vent, bring them a coffee and/or a meal. We're trying to do it all and it's not easy. Knowing that we have that support from our friends, family, and community is huge.

How can employers and community members support military spouses?

Employers, be as flexible as you can and extend all the grace possible. An employee will perform so much better if they feel appreciated and seen. Community members, be kind. If you know a military spouse going through a deployment or extended period of time while their service member is gone, send them a card to let them know you haven't forgotten about them. Get them a gift card to treat themselves. Ask them how you can support them right now.

Is there anything else you’d like to add?

I was in the military for seven years and have deployed myself. Having been deployed, and now also having gone through several deployments where my spouse is the one that's gone, I can tell you that being the one at home is by far the hardest, at least for me. We have a lot that falls on our shoulders. Try to simplify your life as much as you can prior to a deployment. Don't go getting a puppy or more animals to take care of. Don't volunteer yourself for events that you don't need to. Make sure you leave space for yourself to breathe -- or heck, just stare at a wall for an hour. Accept help as much as you can. You matter.

Having a spouse serving in the military can be difficult for a family. But how about having two military spouses in a family? Air Force Master Sgt. Tyler Pearson and his spouse Master Sgt. Marina Pearson both serve at the 133rd Airlift Wing Aviation Maintenance Squadron. They recently welcomed their first child, Everly, who is 11 months old.

Their dual military family faces added challenges.

“Both of us are commonly tasked with duties requiring us to be away. Sometimes both of us at the same time. That requires a great support system to lean on, such as family, to either watch the kid or plow the driveway,” Tyler said. “Sometimes, life just gets put on hold. The temporary duty assignments away from home, deployments, drills, and additional training replaces the time that could be spent together. The everyday daily taskings still get accomplished, but fully rely on the spouse who is at home. There are added responsibilities and more reliance on friends and family to support the two of you.”

But there are also positives to being a dual military family, including a unique personal connection between the spouses. “One positive is that we understand one another’s mission and what it takes to accomplish it,” Marina said.

“Being dual military, you understand more of what your spouse’s workday entails,” Tyler said. “Able to understand the stressors, responsibilities, and day-to-day experiences. Knowing the abbreviations and acronyms that are said so naturally is a huge help too.”

With the ups and downs of military life, the Pearsons appreciate the support of their military family, which is an extension of their actual family.

“Events hosted by the wing bring a great deal of comradery and care while introducing loved ones to the work environment,” Tyler said. “I believe the support and resources reflect appreciation and acknowledgement of the difficulties families experience.”

Both Marina and Tyler believe in the importance of observing Month of the Military Spouse.

“It’s great to recognize the support behind the member. Spouses make such a huge impact to the family and their support can make the mission possible,” Marina said. “I think society focuses on the member serving the mission and they don’t give nearly enough credit to the spouse holding down the fort.”

Tyler agreed. “It highlights the challenges and sacrifices of the spouse beyond the member’s military duties,” he said. “Remembering that there is a home life outside of work life that aids in mission readiness and success.”

The Pearsons thank all military spouses for all they do.

“Without the support and dedication of military spouses, the mission and wellbeing of members would be affected.” Tyler said. “The countless times of having to step up doesn’t go unnoticed.”

“No words can express the appreciation of the burden that military spouses take on,” Marina said. “They are required to not only take care of what’s left back at home, but also give support to their spouse who is accomplishing the mission.”

Marina and Tyler encourage those outside of the military community to support military spouses however way they can.

“Check in on how the spouse is mentally and with the homestead. Have patience, because they may not be able to be as present while they navigate ‘single’ life,” Marina said.

“Military spouses take on the responsibility of two sometimes. That is not the only stressor though. A military spouse might have less communication when the member is away, or the unknown of their assignment brings worry,” Tyler said. “This makes awareness of resilience critical. Be supportive, assist where you can, and understand that the experiences of military spouses are diverse.”

The United States Department of Defense recognizes the strength and contributions of the nation's nearly 1 million military spouses and offers extra support and activities focused on real-world needs in May, and year-round.

Virtual Military Spouse Symposium

The Blue Star Mothers of America's district spring meeting was held at the American Legion in Spicer, Minnesota, on April 13. Members discussed national level initiatives, listened to guest speakers, worked on service projects for the 34th Infantry Division "Red Bulls," and had vendor tables to raise funds for the projects.

Blue Star Mothers is a nonprofit organization made up of mothers, stepmothers, grandmothers, foster mothers, and female legal guardians whose children are service members in active duty, the National Guard, or Reserve, or are veterans. Members provide support for one another, their children, and the military community.

There are six active chapters in Minnesota consisting of 114 Blue Star Mothers and 46 Associates. The Associates are siblings or other family members. For more information, visit bluestarmothers.org.

Happy Mother's Day to all military moms!

More than 1,200 military youth and their families attended the annual Purple Up celebration at Mall of America on April 19.

The event, hosted by Minnesota National Guard Child & Youth Program, was held in honor of Month of the Military Child, which is observed each year in April across the United States Department of Defense to recognize the commitment, contributions, and sacrifices military youth make for the nation.

Josiah Moss, 13, son of Army Capt. Andrew Moss, 1347th Division Sustainment Support Battalion, has attended the Purple Up event six times. “Month of the Military Child is a chance for kids with a military parent to be recognized. It’s not even the stuff that you guys do, like Purple Up; it’s just nice to be recognized.” Moss said. He added that the best part of being a military child is, “I can be proud of what my dad does.”

This year’s Purple Up included music, face painting and airbrush tattoos, caricature artists, character appearances, giveaways, treats, activities, rides at Nickelodeon Universe provided by the Mall of America, a Build-A-Bear experience provided by USAA and the Minnesota National Guard Association. Purple is the official color of the military child. It is a combination of all the colors of the U.S. Armed Forces -- Air Force, Navy, and Coast Guard blues, Army green, and Marine Corps red.

In addition to the Purple Up event, the Minnesota National Guard Child & Youth Program hosted an art contest and photo contest. Families were also able to request a letter from Governor Tim Walz thanking military youth at MinnesotaVeteran.org/militarychild. There are more than 16,000 children in Minnesota who have at least one parent serving in the military. Mall of America and USAA are Beyond the Yellow Ribbon companies. See more photos on Facebook and Twitter (X).

Joy Luedeman, Minnesota National Guard Child & Youth Program coordinator, was a guest on the Minnesota Military Radio show on April 4 to discuss support for military-connected children. April was Month of the Military Child. The show also featured the chief wellness officer at the Minneapolis VA Health Care System to talk about "Whole Health" and received an update from the Minnesota National Guard Command Senior Enlisted Leader, Air Force Command Chief Master Sgt. Lisa Erickson. Tune in at: https://wp.me/peVOtP-22x

In celebration of Month of the Military Child, Duluth area military youth from all military branches were recently treated to tours and presentations at the Bong Historical Center, lunch, and games with athletes from the University of Minnesota Duluth football team as part of the Purple Up for Military Kids' event.

The event recognizes the sacrifices the children of service members make while their parents serve the state and nation. The American Red Cross in Minnesota and the Richard I. Bong Veterans Historical Center partnered with U.S. Bank, the University of Minnesota Duluth Athletics, and OMC Smokehouse to host the event. U.S. Bank is a Beyond the Yellow Ribbon company. See more photos on the 148th Fighter Wing page on Facebook.

More than 120 representatives from Minnesota companies and communities gathered at the Beyond the Yellow Ribbon conference at Boston Scientific in Maple Grove on April 11.

In the past, Beyond the Yellow Ribbon’s corporate and community networks held their own separate conferences. This was the first combined conference to connect all the networks and help them develop ways to collaborate and unify their efforts in support of Minnesota’s veterans, service members, and families. The conference’s theme was Community and Corporate Collaboration.

“Beyond the Yellow Ribbon is proof of the power and impact made when everyone comes together to help one another,” said Air Force Col. Jesse Carlson, 133rd Airlift Wing commander and Minnesota National Guard representative who spoke at the event. “The program has become a success because of the many companies, organizations, communities, and individuals who tirelessly work together in support of our military community.”

Conference participants listened to speakers, including a tearful impact statement from veteran Patrick Nickle, a Bronze Star recipient who retired from the military in 2016 after 26 years of service. He is now a Cottage Grove police officer and has been since been awarded a medal of valor for his actions in service of his local community. When Nickle lost everything in a house fire, the Mississippi River Valley Beyond the Yellow Ribbon, for whom he serves as a volunteer, assisted him with whatever he needed, including helping him rebuild what had been his favorite part of his house to relax and spend time with his family, the deck.

“…I cannot thank them enough for what they have done for me and my family,” said Nickle, who thanked everyone for all they do to support the military community. “I’m telling you the impact that you have on these families. And for me it’s more than I have to give back.”

Conference participants also heard from community network panelists and were provided the opportunity to connect with corporate and community networks near their workplaces and homes, learn about what each other does, and how they can assist one another. Several corporate and community networks were recognized and presented with an award for their work and commitment in supporting the state’s military community. The award recipients included Rosemount Beyond the Yellow Ribbon, Mississippi River Valley Beyond the Yellow Ribbon, the Minnesota Department of Transportation, and Medtronic.

Boston Scientific was honored to serve as the conference host.

“As part of our ongoing commitment to supporting military employees and communities, Boston Scientific is proud to celebrate its fifth year as a Beyond the Yellow Ribbon company,” said Mike Jones, senior vice president and president, Endoscopy, Boston Scientific. “We are honored to host the 2024 BTYR Spring Conference as we continue to support their ongoing work of connecting service members and their families with community support, training, services, and resources.”

Also known as BTYR, Beyond the Yellow Ribbon’s mission is to establish and sustain a comprehensive community and corporate support network that connects and coordinates agencies, organizations, and resources to meet the needs of Minnesota’s military veterans, service members, and families in all military branches. See more photos on Facebook and Twitter (X).

Feedback survey: Beyond the Yellow Ribbon conference attendees are asked to check their e-mail for a survey about the conference. If the survey was not received or for anyone who has questions, e-mail the BTYR team.

Deployed service members with the Minnesota National Guard's 34th Infantry Division "Red Bulls" received care packages recently from the Hugo Beyond the Yellow Ribbon.

Throughout 34th Infantry Division service members' deployment, the Division Outreach Soldier & Family Readiness Specialists (SFRS) team will connect monthly with deployed service members' families to help them cope with the impact of separation and connect them with other families and resources. Click on the QR code to connect with the team. Or complete the form, call 1 (888) 234-1274, or e-mail. For volunteer opportunities, click here.

Members of the Minnesota National Guard Diversity & Inclusion's Asian American and Pacific Islander Special Emphasis Council, participated in the Asian and Pacific Islander Day at the State Capitol on April 3. See more photos and read the article on the Minnesota National Guard news page and social media.

Council members will participate in the Minnesota Songkran Festival at the State Capitol on May 18 and 19. Songkran is a festival celebrating the traditional Thai New Year and marked by the throwing and sprinkling of water. The festival, hosted by the Thai Cultural Council of Minnesota, is free and includes food, musical performances, traditional dances, and more. There will also be a papaya eating contest on May 19. For more information, visit the event page on Facebook or e-mail info@thaiculturalcouncilmn.com. May is also Asian American and Pacific Islander Heritage Month.

By Army Chaplain (Col.) Buddy Winn
Minnesota National Guard State Chaplain

As the NBA playoffs continue this month, our Minnesota Timberwolves are charting an unusually successful course, igniting hopes among fans for a deep run into the post season. Amidst this excitement, the concept of balance championed by NBA superstar Damian Lillard, who plays for the Milwaukee Bucks, stands as a beacon for athletes and fans alike.

Lillard's philosophy, which is centered on prioritizing personal growth and family, alongside his professional commitments, underscores a vital truth — excellence in any field flourishes within a balanced life. His dedication to this balance, which includes spending quality time with family, engaging in spiritual practices, and fostering personal well-being, has contributed to his remarkable performances on the court and enriched his life outside of basketball. In addition, it’s Lillard’s devout faith that sustains and inspires his commitment.

Lillard's story resonates on a profound level for those of us in the military and our families, and his balanced approach to living and competing serves as a great example. The pursuit of excellence, whether it’s on the basketball court or in service to our nation, demands a holistic approach. Though our service can be very demanding, it’s a reminder that our professional endeavors should complement, not consume, our personal lives. Excellence achieved without balance risks crossing into consuming us, blurring the lines that keep our lives in healthy equilibrium.

As we cheer the Timberwolves' on their playoff journey, let's also embrace the principle of balance in our own lives. Striving for excellence, whether in military service, family life, or personal development, is most rewarding when pursued within the context of a balanced and fulfilling life and supported by healthy spiritual practices.

To learn more, e-mail Holistic Health & Fitness at H2F-Internal-Project-Management@army.mil.

For more Beyond the Yellow Ribbon events, see the calendar on the BTYR webpage and follow BTYR on Facebook or Twitter (X).

Resource fair for veterans

Owatonna Beyond the Yellow Ribbon fundraiser

Vietnam War commemoration

The Minnesota Department of Veterans Affairs will host a Vietnam War 50th Anniversary Commemoration Event at Mall of America on June 13 to 15. A resource fair for Vietnam veterans and their families will be included in the event. Organizations that would like to participate in the resource fair must register by May 3. Those interested can can e-mail Chris Kakos at chris.kakos@state.mn.us or call (651) 297-4451 or e-mail Paula Wright at pwright@tunheim.com or call (612) 508-9899.

Family Day and car show opportunity to participate and support

Women veterans' retreat

There is still space available for women veterans to attend. It is a free retreat for women veterans. See the flyer for information on nominating a veteran for this retreat. Click on the link to register.

Rosemount BTYR golf tournament

Big Lake Beyond the Yellow Ribbon to host Ribs for the Ribbon

For upcoming events, sign up here. Visit also the Family Programs website and follow the Family Programs Facebook page and Child & Youth Program Facebook page.

Military Teen Summit to be held in June

Volunteers needed for summer camp

The mission of Beyond the Yellow Ribbon is to establish and sustain a comprehensive community and corporate support network that connects and coordinates agencies, organizations, and resources to meet the needs of Minnesota's military veterans, service members, and families in all military branches.

The BTYR Bulletin informs, connects, and supports Minnesota's military community and its many partners across the state.

E-mail: ng.mn.mnarng.list.j9-beyond-the-yellow-ribbon@army.mil

Follow: Twitter (X) @BTYRmn and Facebook
Visit: BTYR website
Download: Minnesota National Guard app.
Resources: Minnesota National Guard Family Programs

BTYR Bulletin editor: cristina.f.oxtra.nfg@army.mil