From the outside looking in, this school year may not appear to be much different than the past. We drop our kids off for the day as usual and have to remember to ask “do you have your mask?” Other than that, they’re back in school and we’re back to our normal routine, right? Wrong! This year has wreaked havoc on the lives our kids knew before the pandemic. We need to continue to be aware, empathetic, and encouraging while helping our young people process and handle their big emotions.
Tweens and teens get much of their positive energy from being social. They use friends as an emotional outlet. This school year, that social freedom is very limited. Not only do our kids have to remember extra items in the morning (mask and water bottle to refill because water fountains aren’t allowed), they also have their temperature taken each morning and go directly to their classroom rather than socializing in the commons or the hallway. Students don’t get up and move from classroom to classroom between most periods and remain in the same classroom and desk most of the day divided by a plexiglass barrier. Lunch is eaten at their desk. Many of their friends have chosen the virtual option and aren’t even in the building this year. If their assigned classroom is different from their friends’ classrooms, they may only catch a glimpse of them throughout the day with no direct interaction. Sporting events, dances, activities are limited or cut short. School life is different!
What does all this mean to your child? Some handle it well and go on as if nothing is different. But for many, this is a time of distress, anxiety, worry, and even anger. We all need socialization, interaction and a feeling of control.
How can you help your child? Acknowledgement of their loss, modeling of positivity, open conversation, and patience.
When your child seems irritable or moody, ask how you can help. Acknowledge that you understand this year isn’t normal and that they have lost some valuable things. Model a positive attitude toward the restrictions and changes showing gratitude and optimism for things we still can do. Ask direct questions about how they are feeling, what they worry about, what they dislike about the changes, etc. Keep the conversations flowing so they know they have an outlet and someone who understands. Lastly, remember that the tween and teen years are difficult and have lots of mood swings. These extra stresses can exacerbate the normal struggles of this age. Be patient and pick your battles. Encourage journaling, exercise, being outside in nature, and family time.
