BeSMART for the HOLIDAYS

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December 19, 2023

The following information was shared with FPS in an effort to remind families about simple approaches that could save lives. Please read through the information below to learn more about the BeSMART Campaign.

Tis the season of awkward holiday conversations: Your dad wants to know why you don’t call more often. Great-Aunt Mabel wonders when you’re going to get a real job. Uncle Joe wants to sell you on his Florida time-share. In most of these cases, you can make a quick escape (“Water refills, anyone?”). But there’s one awkward conversation that you should be having, and that’s about the potentially lethal combination of kids and unsecured guns.

Gun ownership is a personal decision, but responsible storage is a public safety issue. And a simple conversation with your relatives before you arrive for the holidays can help keep children out of harm’s way. Worried about bringing up the subject without upsetting anyone? Try these conversation starters.

SCENARIO #1: YOU KNOW THAT YOUR FAMILY MEMBER IS A GUN OWNER

WHAT TO SAY: “Hi Mom, we are looking forward to the holiday with the whole family—the kids are so excited to see you and their cousins. I know I have never asked this before, but after reading about a 9 year old boy in Detroit that shot himself with an unsecured shotgun, I just have to ask: Are your guns locked, unloaded and is the ammunition stored separately? Tommy and Ellie get into everything and I don’t want to spend the holidays looking over my shoulder worried about them, or the rest of the kids. I’m happy to purchase gun locks if you don’t have them.”

SCENARIO #2: YOU DON’T KNOW WHETHER OR NOT YOUR FAMILY MEMBER IS A GUN OWNER

WHAT TO SAY: “Hi Cindy, I’m checking off the list of things we need to get done before we come for the holiday! The kids can’t wait to see their cousins, and I am happy to be in charge of the pumpkin pie. Tommy and Ellie have been getting into everything these days, and I don’t know if you saw the story about a 9 year old boy in Detroit that shot himself with an unsecured shotgun—it really shook me. I don’t even know if you own guns, and how you store them if you do.”

If she says she does own guns: “Thanks for telling me. It’s important to me that they are stored locked and unloaded, with ammunition stored separately, so that we can all have a relaxing and safe holiday.”

WHAT TO WRITE: Sometimes these conversations are easier via email. Try “sandwiching” your question amongst other questions and information. For example:

Dear Mimi,

We will be arriving late on Tuesday night and can’t wait to see the whole family! Tommy and Ellie are so excited to sleep over. I know Pop-Pop is a hunter, but I don’t know if he keeps any guns at the cabin, if he does, are they locked, unloaded and inaccessible to the kids? Please also let me know what I can contribute to the meal. We are so excited to see you.

All our love, Sue

In the unlikely event that your relatives won’t confirm that they store guns responsibly, make sure they know that you won’t allow your young children in their home for the holidays:

“I’m sorry, Aunt Diane, but unless you make sure your guns are locked the entire time we’re at your home, we won’t be able to make it. Tommy and Ellie get into everything lately, and I just can’t take the risk of them hurting themselves or someone else. We’d be happy to have you at our house instead this year.”

If you are a gun owner, volunteer information about your home, and let your friends and family know that you store your guns responsibly.

“Hi Greg and Sharon, Just wanted to let you know a few things before the holiday weekend. First, we just got a new puppy--I wanted to flag in case there were any allergies or anything. Also, I wanted to let you know that Nick and I hunt in the fall, but our guns are stored safely in gun locks--unloaded with the ammunition stored separately. With our two little ones, it’s the only way we can be sure we keep our family safe. It’s important for us for you both to know ahead of time too. Can’t wait to see you guys! Let me know if you need anything.”

Many unintentional shootings happen in the homes of relatives. It’s very possible that family members or close friends have unsecured guns in their home. Never make assumptions when a child’s safety is at stake. It’s up to all of us to make it a safe, happy and SMART holiday season.

Massachusetts residents 15 years and older who wish to possess, carry, and transport firearms, ammunition, and feeding devices are required to have a firearms license. Firearms licenses are issued by local municipal police departments. Learn more about gun ownership in Massachusetts. Additionally in Massachusetts, all guns must be stored in a locked container or equipped with a tamper-resistant mechanical lock or other safety device. Primitive firearms are exempt from this storage requirement. It is recommended that you store firearms unloaded, separately from ammunition, in locked compartments.

The Be SMART campaign raises awareness that secure gun storage—storing guns locked, unloaded and separate from ammunition—can save lives. Be SMART emphasizes that it’s an adult responsibility to keep kids from accessing guns, and that every adult can play a role in keeping kids and communities safer.

Caregivers are encouraged to take these 5 simple steps to help prevent shootings by children:

• Secure all guns in your home and vehicles;
• Model responsible behavior around guns;
• Ask about the presence of unsecured guns in other homes;
• Recognize the role of guns in suicide;
• Tell your peers to be SMART.

All resources and tips below came from the Be SMART Campaign. We chose to focus on CONVERSATION STARTERS - both those with children and how to ask about Gun Storage. If you wish to explore the Be SMART resources further, please visit their website: https://besmartforkids.org/resources/

Tips for Talking to Young Children:

• Make it part of the normal safety conversation you have with your children.
• Keep the language simple; for example: “If you see a gun, don’t touch it. Tell an adult right away.”
• Tell children not to touch a gun, even if it looks like a toy.
• Assure children they will not get in trouble if they tell an adult they’ve seen a gun.
• Repeat it on a regular basis.

Tips for Talking to Adolescents:

• Include it in your general safety conversations about topics like drugs, alcohol, and drunk driving.
• Tell them to immediately leave any situation where an unsecured gun is present.
• Tell them not to listen to a friend who says a gun is unloaded or otherwise safe.
• Give your teen strategies to get out of a situation where a gun is present—or brainstorm them together. For example, you could agree that your teen would say: “Mom just texted me that I have to get home right now.”
• Assure them that it’s OK to ask people about the presence of unsecured guns in other homes they may be visiting, but offer to do it for them if they don’t feel comfortable.

Tips for All Ages:

• Don’t have the conversation only once. Talk to them frequently, just as you would about other crucial safety issues.
• Make sure they understand that any situation where there’s an unsupervised gun is a dangerous situation.

Owning a gun is a personal decision, but secure storage is a public safety issue. Kids and unsecured guns are a potentially lethal combination. Fortunately, a simple conversation can help keep children out of harm’s way. It doesn’t need to feel strange or awkward to bring up the issue of how guns are stored. These simple conversations with your friends, caregivers, and relatives before your child visits can help save lives.

General Safety Conversation

“Before I drop my son/daughter/child off, I just wanted to check to see if you have pets? And also ask if you have firearms in your house and confirm how they are stored. I want to make sure he knows your safety rules.”

Teen safety conversations

“Hey, excited the kids are getting together over the weekend. I know that they’ve hung out quite a bit, but my daughter/son/child has never been over to your house so I want to confirm a couple of things: Will an adult be at the house the whole time? Also, I heard a story on the news that made me decide I should always ask this—do you have any firearms, and how are they stored? Do you need me to pick (insert child's name) up or can you give her/him/them a ride home?”

If you know that the homeowner or your family member is a gun owner.

“We are looking forward to spending time with you and with the whole family. I know I have never asked this before, but after hearing about a recent unintentional shooting in the area (you can refer to the Not An Accident map), I just have to ask: how are your guns stored? The kids get into everything and I don’t want to spend the day looking over my shoulder worried about them, or the rest of the kids.”

Confirm secure storage practices. Following their description, if you need to know more, then you can ask direct questions, like: "What kind of lock do you use?" or "How do you store ammunition?"

Sample text or email starters (Sometimes these conversations are easier via email.)

Try “sandwiching” your question amongst other questions and information. For example: “I know my child/son/daughter hasn't been to your home before and I do like to ask a few safety questions. They is skittish around dogs, do you have any? Also, do you own any firearms, and if so, how are they stored? Finally, will they be playing video games? We only allow limited time on ones rated ‘E.’ My son/daughter/child doesn't have any allergies. For future reference, no pets, and no firearms at our home. Thanks so much.”

Here is a visual example of how that may play out:

Sample texts, emails, or conversation starters for teenage babysitters

Certainly there are times that a teen will be in the role of the caregiver and need to confirm this information on his/her own. The onus is still on adults. Here is sample language.

“I’m confirming that you need me at 7pm on Saturday evening. Let me know if the kids will need to be fed. Also, my parents wanted me to ask if there are any unsecured guns in the home? Thanks.”