Aspire's Awareness Academy

"Let go of who you think you're supposed to be; Embrace who you are."

~Brene Brown`

For years, I found myself chasing after something elusive: self-worth. My struggle to appear perfectly put together became my greatest nemesis. This entanglement with perfectionism was deeply rooted in what Dr. Michael Gervais, founder of Mastery Tribe and the Find Mastery Podcast, calls FOPO—fear of other people's opinions. While FOPO isn’t a formal diagnosis, it resonates with many of us who grapple with the worry of what others think. Although it may be a part of human nature, allowing it too much influence can lead us down a path of discontent.

Behind my efforts to present a flawless exterior lay a hidden truth. For years, I masked the real Amy, creating a sense of cognitive dissonance that chipped away at my being. Cognitive dissonance, as many of you may know, occurs when we act in ways that don’t align with our values. For example, if family is your top priority but your work pulls you away from seeing them, that conflict will lead to inner turmoil. When we live as someone we are not, chasing an ideal image of happiness and perfection, our self-worth inevitably suffers.

So, what did I believe made me worthy? I thought I needed to embody the image of having it all together. I aimed to be the perfect mother—juggling well-behaved children at social gatherings, maintaining a perfectly tidy home, and making impeccable decisions. I longed to be seen as that joyful mother, effortlessly hosting delightful dinners (and yes, I can't help but chuckle at that notion). Yet, this facade did not reflect my reality—rather, it was the image I wished others to see.

This pursuit of perfection deeply affected my sense of self-worth, especially as I transitioned into motherhood. The feeling of inadequacy became a constant companion, undermining any prior confidence I had built. When self-doubt creeps in, it drains your spirit, leaving you feeling empty.

How did my sense of self become so inconsistent? The roots run deep. Growing up in Generation X, I encountered countless messages about gender roles—being told “that’s a boy thing,” which stifled my aspirations. Media continuously bombarded me with images of impossibly thin, conventionally beautiful women, a standard I could never meet. Teachers comparisons to my academically gifted sister added yet another layer of insecurity. The quest for acceptance from peers only compounded these feelings. This journey has seen its share of confidence and pride, but many factors can erode our self-worth if we let them. And there were times that I allowed them in.

How, then, do we nurture and rebuild our self-worth? I invite you to join me as we explore this vital topic together.

Thank you for allowing me to share this part of my story with you. This journey is personal, and I hope it resonates with your experiences too. Together, let’s take the first steps towards cultivating a more genuine sense of worth. This topic is so important to me that I wrote a book about self-worth, it's with the editor right now.

Most of my readers are adults, and I hope many of you have experienced how the praise from parents, teachers, and friends positively impacted you. These uplifting communications fill our self-worth buckets and often lead us to believe in ourselves.

As we navigate through the stages of life, many encounter energy suckers and Debbie Downers that can cause us to question our value and even our purpose. When we start doubting our self-worth, we increase the risk of losing faith in ourselves.

Believing in yourself is essential. Embrace your values, your kindness, and your abilities. Accept your imperfections and create a healthy relationship with the messy chaos within yourself.

When we tear ourselves down, we empty our self-worth bucket. Yet, how do we learn best? By making mistakes. Mistakes are valuable learning opportunities that promote growth when we treat them as such. Asking for help demonstrates that you believe in yourself!

Being compassionate includes laughing at yourself for making a silly mistake, telling yourself, "there's always next time," and increasing the amount of attention you give to gratitude.

I am Amy Jacques, and I have been a certified professional coach since 2022. I also have approximately 24 years of combined experience in school counseling services.

The most common answer I receive to the question, "What brought you here today?" is, "I feel stuck; I feel like I'm spinning and not making any progress. I need help with motivation and figuring out what I really want to do." That is precisely what I do—I help people cultivate self-awareness, which guides us through various possibilities.

Aspire, LLC.

Amy Jacques M. Ed., ACC, CPC, ELI-MP, COR.E

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