HERO Bulletin

You might want to read through this edition carefully. Very carefully. You'll see why if you do.

Hello Heroes, if I can still even call you that. Principal Noce has given me the honor to announce some very special news. Our Hero Mascot is changing. We will no longer be the Heritage Heroes we are now……………Drum Roll please………………The Heritage Horses! A shock, I know but I had a talk with Principal Noce on why she has decided to change it. Another Surprise for you Horses our school colors are changing as well. Our new colors will be inspired by a very famous horse or Pony if you will. Our new colors will be Purple, Pink and Lavender for Twilight Sparkle. Here’s the interview with Principal Noce.

Q: So what made you decide to get the mascot changed?

A: I felt that we needed to compete with Verrado Middle to show them there will only be one reigning Verrado school with a horse mascot.

Q: And why change the colors too?

A: I felt we needed to have something not typically seen in schools and using Twilight Sparkle as an inspiration adds some nostalgia for our students.

Q: What about our Hero Family Commitment?

A: Uh yes, our new commitment will have most of the same concepts with the edition of saving animals. So our new Horse Family Commitment is

Helping Others

Owning It

Respecting Diversity

Saving Animals

and

Ensuring Safety

Well, you heard it here folks. Us Heroes will be no more; we are now Horses. To all the Neigh sayers out there, Horses rule!

Helloooo fellowwwww….HORSES!!!!

It has come to my attention that there has been a sighting of a groundhog at Redmond Field, ANDDDD its has also caught my attention Mrs. Noce used to have a groundhog problemo. The problem was so bad that they even named the annoying little guy, Javier (Translation: HA vee Air).

Now if you see, Mr. Javier at all PLEASE report him to an adult. Well, now y'all may be wondering how Javier came to be and why he's such a big inconvenience……Heh, you're in for a treat.

It all started when Mrs. Noce had a beautiful backyard, yes, a beautiful landscape indeed…. Anywhooo she started to notice these holes that started to appear out. of. thin. Air. in her backyard, UNTIL one day, she was just having a nice coffee and looked out her window….. Cue intense mysterious music…..

And you won't believe who she saw… none other than Javier! THATS RIGHT JAVIER IN THE FLESH. And now he's tryin to make a come-back here, none other than the Heritage Horses Redmond Field. Well that's Mr. Javier's origin story. Have a CRAZY day, hope to see ya next time.

*Photo Credit: Google*

April 1 - APRIL FOOLS DAY

April 2 - 1912: The Titanic begins sea trials

April 3 -1948: U.S. President Harry S. Truman signed into law post-World War II plan

April 4 -1968, Martin Luther King, Jr., was in Memphis, Tennessee to protest

April 5 -2020: Covid-19 has mutated into the Delta Virus

April 6 -1917: The U.S. enters world war ll

April 7 -1831: The emperor of Brazil has been mutated by the before said virus

April 8 -1974 : Pablo Picasso dies in France, but a day later he mutated and resurrected

April 9 - 2020: 50% of the British population has adopted German Shepherds

April 10 -2021: Pepsi is coming out with a new pickle flavor

April 11 -1720: A panda escaped from the zoo and took a bus too Panda express

April 12 -1965: Culvers gets rid of their Butter Burger

April 13 -2022: Titanic was found on the surface sailing after sinking miles below the ocean

April 14 -2022: All the easter eggs were stolen by the Easter groundhog

April 15 -1982: Coke and Pepsi each blew up each others headquarters

April 16 -2000:Y2K malfunctioned all the potatoes

April 17 -1966: Culvers brings back the Butter Burger

April 18 -2019: the Angels baseball team go into orbit around the earth

April 19 -1872: the first ear socks were made(picture included at the bottom)

April 20 -2012: Florida man arrested

April 21 -2018: The first Jordans made entirely of cheese were released

April 22 -1999: Scientists made a computer mouse into real mouse

April 23 -1976: the first 1x20 rubix cube was made

April 24 -2022: Flavored water is being added to every water fountain

April 25 - 2019: The birth of the easter Groundhog, Javier

April 26 -1622: Scientists created blue watermelon

April 27 -20BC: Dino nugggies were banned everywhere & later unbanned due to global chaos

April 28 -2013: 12 men were arrested for wearing multiple hats at once

April 29 -1823: Dogs made a CATapult(it was a CATastrophe)

April 30 -1523: The first tribe ever, the Qsmvthbv (or butt text)Tribe was established

HEY!

YOU SEEM SMART!

TAKE MY QUIZ AND GET AN EASY 100%.

IF YOU ASK YOUR TEACHER NICELY IT WILL BE FOR EXTRA CREDIT!!! JUST CLICK ON THE LINK- Wait, why is there more than one….????

OH WELL JUST FIND IT!

https://forms.gle/5pL7STPMeJnfqBda6

https://forms.gle/5VRgBTCCjtyamxZN8

https://forms.gle/xYVC4dt9u5Hc7jgB7

https://forms.gle/YebcARYXa6FyTVES9

https://forms.gle/HEe7mr3f6U2heBWF9

https://forms.gle/hiHg3B7GzTt5mnL86

What's up fellow Horses!!!!! It’s your girl, Alyx(Rhea), and I’ve got some hair dye-ing ideas for you. As someone who constantly dyes their hair it is a hassle to dye your hair with “regular” hair dye. BUUT, I have found some new, and cool other ways to dye your hair. These include:

• Soda

• Kool-aid

• Frosting

• Cheese

• Allgator’s face makeup

• Fairy hair (found at Wal-Mart)

• Spaghetti sauce

• Sprinkles

• Wasabi

• And so much more!

For proof here’s some cool pictures!

BREAKING NEWS! Horses of Verrado Heritage, Joe Biden and The Government Guys have officially decided to change our beloved national anthem The Star Spangled Banner is being REPLACED!? To be exact, Rick Astley’s Never Gonna Give You Up is replacing the current anthem.WHAT!? The Government Guys are going to Rickroll us at sports games. The Government Guys are going to make the choir sing "Never Gonna Give You Up" at assemblies. And guess what? We also have to do the dance Rick does in the video!(I swear I'm not making this stuff up kids, always trust reporters)

So, we should start preparing. WAIT!? Did I get this right? I just found an update. They are also changing the flag to Rick Astley’s face, tilted, on top of the American flag!? Oh and they love him so much they changed the “In God we Trust” to “In Rick Astley We Trust”. Well Horses, We should pledge allegiance to Rick (Thanks The Government Guys). Here is the first classroom to start saluting like good law-abiding Americans.(Except that kid in the back)

Video of Classroom Below this article:

Music Video: Never Gonna Give You Up

As my dear friend Serenity Velasquez stated, a groundhog has been spotted on campus, but that's not all! Javier has stolen the Easter Bunny’s job, and the Easter Bunny wants YOUR help! Late one night, Javier the groundhog stole ALL of the Easter Bunny’s eggs, and hid them around campus! Your job as a student is to locate these missing eggs, and turn them into your teacher so they can make sure they get to their rightful owner. Here's the catch. Each kind of egg is worth a different amount of points. And the classroom with the most points by the end of the egg hunt wins a special prize.

Make sure to read through all of the rules, because if you disobey one of them while finding an egg, your points will not count. and work as quickly as you can to find all of the missing eggs, so Easter can go as planned!

Rules:

• No stealing other students’ eggs

• No giving hints on where eggs are located

• No disobeying the instructions of one of your teachers because you want to get an egg (No leaving the line if in one)

• No arguing over eggs

• No throwing/breaking eggs or OPENING THEM

• The person who found it, gets to bring it to the teacher

• No bringing and turning your own eggs, we will know.

• No need to open eggs, if you turn in an egg that is missing a piece, the points for that egg will NOT COUNT!

• Have fun!

Point values:

Pink - 5 points

Purple - 10 points

Dark Blue - 15 points

Light blue - 20 points

Green - 25 points

Yellow - 30 points

Red - 35 points

**There are a total of 93 eggs, with 10-15 of each color. **

There is nothing inside any of the eggs, so no need to open them. The egg hunt starts on April 11th, and ends on the 15th, so work fast to make sure your class gets the most points!

Where to Look?

1. Outside buildings

2. Hallways

3. Common places

4. Anywhere BUT in a classroom or bathroom

E

Y’ALL. Y’ALL. GUYS. EVERYBODY. YOU READING THIS RIGHT NOW. YES YOU. BREAKING NEWS. I CALLED IT. I TOTALLY CALLED IT. I KNEW IT. I KNEW IT WAS GONNA HAPPEN EVENTUALLY. TAKE THAT, YOU…PEOPLE. TAKE THAT, NON-EXISTENT CONNECTICUT. WWWWOOOO BABY. LET’S GOOOOOOO. …I should probably explain what’s happening and why I’m screeching my head off right now. Let’s start from the beginning, shall we? I’m answering that for you, we shall.

This month on Randomness Unsolved, we cover the really odd occurrences that have been happening around the school (…am I really covering something…yeah, kind of…but am I really…well, yes but no…you know what, it’s fine we’re covering something). Especially with the teachers and staff. I know what you’re thinking, “...what are you even talking about?”. Well, foolish mortals (I like the Haunted Mansion, okay?), it’s pretty hard to recognize but trust me, somethin’ fishy has been goin’ on here. And, being the good detective I am and after having years of experience on how to prove to people that I’m not totally crazy HANNAH AND AMELIE, I’ve gathered some very legit evidence to back up my also very legit claim (please be proud of me, Mrs. Fain). And with that being said, let’s get into it:

1. When I was in Mr. Hales’ class recently, I noticed something while he was teaching. Listen here, folks: he didn’t blink once. I first thought, “Maybe I’m just blinking when he’s blinking”. But nope. Not at all. During that full period, no blinking.

2. The teacher’s & staff’s vocabulary have been…extensive lately. It’s been more advanced (I’m really bad at explaining things, very sorry dear reader). Like they’ve been using those big words that scientists use. I mean, sometimes it’s necessary for science class, but not in math. Words like (I had to google these words to make sure I was spelling them right): sesquipedalian, floccinaucinihilipilification, anagnorisis, cwtch, & too many more. Do the teachers & staff still use them even when it’s not necessary? ABSOLUTELY. Do I know what any of those words mean? ABSOLUTELY NOT.

3. Their movements have been…I don’t even know how to explain this one. All I can really describe it as is not normal whatsoever. I once saw Mrs. Carberry turn her head a full 180 degrees. I still get nightmares about it.

4. This is a little follow-up for the first one but this is the best evidence in my opinion…One day when I was walking to Ms. Hazelett’s class, I heard some weird noises coming from the room next door which happened to be Mr. K’s room. I thought, “That’s not normal.” and decided to peek through the window. Now this may seem like me being a creeper, but this is for scientific purposes I SWEAR I’M NOT WEIRD. …Anyways, as I looked through the window, I saw Mr. K but as a cat. I swear I’m being serious. It was him but a cat version of him. Y’all know the “cats” in the live-action Cats musical? He looked like that. He was also surrounded by an army of cats. I think about this too much.

Now I know what you’re thinking, “...What the heck does all of this mean?”. Well I have one answer for you: aliens. You heard me. Did I stutter? It’s all aliens. It’s the only logical and reasonable explanation. What else do you want me to say? It all makes sense. It’s all connected. I’m not insane. It’s all real. Who else does this kind of thing? I know who: aliens. If I wasn’t on the government's list before, I definitely am now. I guess this mystery will remain…unsolved…?

Until next month, stay random, and keep things mysterious!

I Think the F.B.I is at my Door, Not Again,

Detective R. V. Jackson

-What mystery would you like to see next time? Submit your submission through this https://forms.gle/t2ZemHFaKwB7c33G7 and we’ll (try to) cover it-

Did you get tricked? These silly (fake) articles were our club's way of having a little fun. We hope that you enjoyed it.

But.....there is ONE article that was partially true. There will be an egg hunt and it starts on April 11th.

Here is the link to the REAL April Edition with articles written by Every Day Heroes, like you: https://www.smore.com/wc7h8