In this month when we are reflecting on the Practice of Presence, I want to share with you all a little snapshot of where our children and youth at OUUC are and what is happening for young people here. It’s one of the refrains that we hear fairly often, that we “don’t have any children or families anymore,” and if you aren’t part of the children and youth programs it might appear that way. But we are actually back to our pre-covid numbers of children and youth registered for programs at OUUC, as are many other UU Congregations as reflected in this year’s certification report numbers from the UUA.
(Historically, the highest numbers of children and youth at OUUC were in 2010-2012. It is unlikely that we will return to 2010-2012 numbers for many reasons, including the fact that fewer people are having children, and they are having fewer children when they do. Shifting demographics and generational differences are at play in the congregation and the larger society.)
I’m really excited about what is happening here with children, youth and families. There is an energy to things that is very fun to be part of. But it’s a different program than it used to be with these notable changes:
Weekly Sunday attendance is not at all what it used to be. Being part of this congregation used to mean attending most Sunday mornings, and we used to offer curriculum on Sunday mornings that would build from week to week on content blocks like school. That pattern of attendance was already dropping off pre-covid, but it is even more noticeable now. Part of this is custodial visitation schedules; part is the number of other activities families have to choose from on weekends; and part is the over-burdening of parents these days (see the Surgeon General’s warning) and the need for just one chill or catch-up day for households.
In response to this pattern, OUUC has chosen to make our Sunday offerings for children a very flexible and drop-in friendly class that focuses on exploratory and experiential practices for kids while leaving plenty of space for fun and relational interactions. We’ve been inspired by a blend of museum-learning theory and one-room schoolhouse techniques. We no longer try to use a curriculum on Sundays, certainly nothing that assumes a child would have any prior knowledge to build on. But we do have a worthwhile, safe, and welcoming experience for any and all children who attend on Sunday.
We’ve switched our main educational focus to shorter-term programs that we ask families to register for and that give a more realistic commitment level for regular attendance. Week-long summer camps and week-night class series that run for 8 or 10 weeks are our main offerings, and these programs are drawing a steady stream of registration and attendance and allow us to explore deeper learning subjects with children and youth, such as sexuality education (the Our Whole Lives program), death and grief, nonviolent communication, the interdependent web of life, and more.
And the community building and parent support aspect of the program has shifted to Thursday evenings. With the Thursday dinners being followed by a children’s class and youth group at 6:30, and a monthly parent group offering as well as many other adult small group opportunities, a family can come on Thursday after school and work and share a meal with others and then all have an hour of engagement with learning, fun, support, and spiritual practice. I hear from many families that they really appreciate the interactions their children can have at dinner with people of all ages too. It’s a truly multigenerational night and this is when you will see more young people.
The children and youth program is not what it used to be …. And that’s a good thing, not a bad thing. Because the world of today’s children and youth isn’t the same as that of the past, either. We are adapting and changing our program to respond to the needs of families today. Some of these needs are ones that this whole community — you included — can also keep in mind:
Children and youth need multigenerational interactions, the modeling of healthy adults, and communities that accept and include them. When you see a young person at OUUC, talk to or smile at them! Be welcoming!
Parents, children, and youth all need support for the challenges they face and to know that there are people they can talk to and ask questions of. If you have a chance to become a trusted and safe person for a young one or a family, that is a blessing. And you can also support our overall pastoral care, caring friends, and support programs as well as referring young people to those programs.
Young people need opportunities to experience the sacred and the spiritual directly for themself. We can all help create beautiful worship, music, spiritual practices, nature encounters, and more. And we can be affirming, encouraging, and inclusive when young people interact with those experiences (and sometimes this means we expand our understanding of how to do these things and tolerate a bit more noise and chaos in our spiritual practice or worship experiences.)
Young people need to engage with big questions and their own values and learn to put their values into practice through justice and action in this world. We can all take our young ones seriously and add our support to the causes and actions that are important to them. Let the young ones lead, teach, and show the way as they are learning how to put their faith into action.
Each Sunday the celebrant reminds us: We are a multigenerational community, and we value our young ones. I invite you all to live into that affirmation, knowing that the children are always being affected by what we do, even when they aren’t as visible. Let us live our faith community in ways that support the well being of and show the value we have for our young ones.
In love and faith,
Rev. Sara
