December Staff Dev. Newsletter

December is here and for most of our students and many of us adults, we start to think about gifts- either giving or receiving. When I think about gifts during this holiday season, I quickly think of the gifts that you are giving to your students. I am not thinking of physical gifts, but I am thinking of more permanent gifts- confidence, humor, resilience, positivity, integrity. Our teachers and staff have worked tirelessly this semester and you did this because you know it is right for our students. You see the greater purpose and that purpose has driven you to "leave it all on the court" for your students. I am always impressed with this but I know it takes a toll, I hope over the winter break you will have time to recoup and take care of yourself. Please know that you are a true gift for our students and you are the gift that "keeps on giving" throughout their lives. Some teachers will get thank-you's from these students down the road, and some will not, on behalf of our community, thank you for being the gift in the life of a child.

IT'S ALWAYS

YOUR STATE OF MIND

Jon Gordon

One day you are in traffic and it bothers you. The next day you are in the same traffic, but it doesn't because you are in a great mood. Is it the traffic that causes how you feel? If it was the traffic, you would have the same response all the time. It must be 100% for it to be truth.

One day you have a paper or project due and you feel stuck. You can't think clearly or write. But the next day you have a moment of inspiration and clarity. You finish the project in a few hours. Was it the paper or project causing you to feel a certain way?

Two brothers grow up in the same family and crime ridden neighborhood. One becomes a neurosurgeon. The other lives a life of crime and drugs. We often hear that the environment causes someone to be a certain way but if it was the environment everyone would turn out the same way because of the environment.

We've been taught to believe that it's the circumstance, event, situation and environment that causes us to think, feel and act the way we do but the truth it's never the traffic. It's never the event or circumstance.

It’s always your state of mind.

The events and circumstances in life contribute to our life experience but our state of mind (level of consciousness) determines how we see the event, how it affects us and how we respond to it.

When you have a high state of mind, you have a lot of clarity, peace, confidence and you are able to rise about your circumstance and situation.

When you have a low state of mind, you have a lot of clutter, doubt and insecurity, easily get upset and instead of rising about your circumstance, your situation brings out the worst in you.

When you have a high state of mind the traffic doesn't bother you. When you have a low state of mind it does.

When you have a high state of mind the bad call by the referee doesn't bother you. You move forward and keep playing. When you have a low state of mind, the bad call leads to you yelling at the referee.

When you have a high state of mind, you don't even think twice about seeing a negative comment on social media. Life is good, you could care less what someone thinks, and you enjoy the rest of day. When you have a low state of mind, the negative comment triggers you and you end up arguing with someone you don't even know.

When you have a high state of mind you are able to see that an event doesn't define you and you forgive and heal. When you have a low state of mind you hold on to pain and wounds of the past that continue to hurt you.

Life is always coming at us, and our state of mind determines how we respond.

So, the big question you are most likely asking right now is: How does one elevate their state of mind?

First, understanding how this all works automatically enhances your state of mind. This level of awareness automatically elevates consciousness. You may forget this truth from time to time but the minute you remember it, you go higher.

Second, knowing the truth that circumstances have no power over you and that you create your world from the inside out, elevates your state of mind. It's why The Coffee Bean is such a popular, powerful book, lesson and message.

Third, meditation, prayer, music, stillness, exercising, dancing, and doing something you love can help elevate your state of mind. For me, daily walks of gratitude and prayer have elevated my state of mind in amazing ways and changed the course of my life.

Finally, the most powerful way to elevate your state of mind is to love. Love dissolves hate and anger. Love casts out fear. Love is patient and kind. Love drives grit and causes you to keep going when others say you should quit. When you love others, and love what you do you tap into the most powerful force in the universe and rise above it all with more clarity, connection and confidence.

It's important to understand that each of us will experience high and low states of mind. It's the ebb and flow of consciousness and life. The key is to recognize the low and transform it to a high. The more you do this, the more you'll transform your default response.

Please know that I'm not saying the events in your life are meaningless. Many of them are powerful experiences that may have led to pain and trauma. I know this in my own life. My purpose in sharing this lesson with you is to remind you that you are more powerful than your circumstance and that you have the power to transform, transcend and triumph in any situation.

We are on a journey to examine our grading system, part of that examination is finding out what parents want from PT Conferences/grading. I found a few of these quotes from parents, these are not quotes from parents in our district. I think they shed a light on some of the things that are important to think about.

When I have a parent-teacher conference I’m most worried about if I’m going to like the teacher and hope her style of teaching overlaps with my idea of what school should be (informative, fun, flexible, each child has their own style of learning and hoping the teacher is open to what each child needs). I’m also concerned with what the teacher thinks of me as a parent based on my child’s performance/behavior/personality.

[F]eedback about your child you feel more than any other type of feedback you get as a human being. Nothing is more personal than somebody’s view of how you are as a parent. And that is good and bad. The pride I feel when someone says something good about my child is like none I’ve felt before having kids. But the shame I feel if somebody implies that my parenting has not been good hurts like nothing else.

Yes I do often get nervous because I see it as a high-stakes meeting. Few things are as important to me as a parent than my child’s experience at school with learning and relationships. As a parent, we have very few direct interactions with our child’s teachers and these meetings usually occur one or two times a year and are relatively brief. So to me I feel a lot of pressure to make sure that I hear about how my child is doing and understand everything, and also at the same time I feel a great sense of responsibility to be a good advocate for my child. I also have the luxury of being English-speaking, well educated, and having a child who is doing well academically and not having behavioral issues. I can’t imagine all of the additional stress has put upon a parent who does not have these advantages.

Many years ago, when ____ was tiny and I was working full-time, I did get nervous at conferences. I was always worried that my child was not up to par with the other children. I guess that parents are afraid to hear any bad news about their children.

I just want the teacher to celebrate my child and see them.

I want to leave feeling like the teacher cares about my son, encourages his interests and has a plan to help address his needs.

If I’m a little nervous about anything, it’s that I want to give some criticism to the teacher or the system and I’m not sure how to share so it’s well received–usually involving wanting one of my kids to be challenged more.

Also I’m nervous that I’m going to find out something about my child that I didn’t know (something about getting a surprise message brings the feelings of loss of control or that I’m not good enough as a parent). AND that if I’d I had only known earlier on in the year, it would have been easier to handle. For example, I didn’t know ____ wasn’t comfortable with her addition facts entering 3rd grade (having them memorized) until I went to conferences and discovered she was doing “poorly” in some areas. If that issue had been assessed and addressed right away, we as a family could have worked together right away. To be given sober news, “your daughter doesn’t know her math facts” would have been easier the second week of school than late October. Good news? We worked on them at home and she had them memorized by Christmas. Easy peasy!