LIFE IN THE MIDDLE ~October~
A Mental Health and Wellness Newsletter from CMS Counselors
Important Dates:
Monday - October 8 - School Holiday
Friday - October 12 - End of First Grading Period
Saturday - October 13 - Parent University
Monday - October 15 - Beginning of Second Grading Period
October 22-26 - Red Ribbon Week
Bully Prevention at CMS
Bullying is a hot issue, and rightly so. However, with so many using the term “Bully” in one way or another, we seem to have become somewhat desensitized to the word and are often over using it. Instead of helping students who are being bullied, the overuse of the word can actually do more harm than good. Please help us to educate our students on the word "Bully" in a responsible way. Bullying is a serious issue. In order to help our students, we must first help them to understand the difference between Rude, Mean and Bullying Behavior.
IS IT RUDE, MEAN, OR BULLYING BEHAVIOR?
Rude Behavior
Rude = Saying or doing something that hurts someone else but that may not be intentional.
Examples:
- coughing in someone's direction
- borrowing something without asking
- making comments to indicate that you are smarter than someone else
- failing to recognize someone's personal space
While any of these behaviors could appear as a part of bullying behavior, when looked at in the circumstances of the occurrence, incidents of rudeness are usually spontaneous, not planned, the result of thoughtlessness, or poor manners, but not meant to actually hurt someone.
Mean Behavior
Mean = Saying or doing something on purpose to hurt someone once (or maybe twice).
Examples:
- Teasing someone about their clothing.
- Writing an unkind note about someone
- Spreading or listening to gossip.
The intention behind a behavior is what makes the difference between "rude" and "mean" behavior. While rudeness is often unintentional, mean behavior very much aims to hurt or tear someone down. Meanness can also be words spoken in anger -- impulsive cruelty that is often regretted. Mean behavior is often motivated by angry feelings and/or the mistaken impression that they can build themselves up in comparison to the person being put down.
Bullying Behavior
Bullying = Intentionally aggressive behavior, repeated over time, that involves one person having power over another.
Key Elements:
- an intent to harm,
- a power imbalance
- repeated acts or threats of aggressive behavior.
Examples:
Repeatedly making negative comments about someone's religion or skin color.
Calling someone ugly or fat all the time.
Shoving, pushing, or hitting someone on multiple occasions.
Spreading rumors or making threats online.
Bullying may be physical, verbal, relational or carried out via technology.
Children and youth often need help to stop bullying. Parents should never be afraid to call the school to report that their child is being bullied and ask for help to stop the bullying. Students should not have to tolerate bullying at school any more than adults would tolerate similar treatment at work. If your child tells you that he or she has been bullied or if you suspect your child is being bullied, what can you do? Please let a counselor or administrator know of your concerns immediately. We can’t help your child, or any other child, if we are not aware of the concern.
What can you expect staff at CMS to do about bullying?
• School staff will investigate the bullying immediately.
• School staff will initially not meet with your child and the child who bullied them at the same time. This could be very embarrassing and intimidating for your child.
• School staff will never share who reported the incident.
• A counselor will meet with your child to learn about the bullying that he or she has experienced. We will help develop a plan to help keep your child feel safe.
• An administrator will meet with students suspected of taking part in the bullying. He/She will make it clear to these students that bullying is against school rules and will not be tolerated. If appropriate, the administrator will administer consequences to those who bullied and notify their parents.
• Give the school reasonable time to investigate and hear both sides of the story. Sometimes, a child who bullies will make false allegations about a child as an additional way of bullying them. An administrator cannot jump to hasty conclusions and assign blame without a thorough assessment of the situation. This entire process should not take longer than a few days.
What steps has CMS taken to educate students on Bullying?
- Large group presentations on our Anti-Bullying Policy - Encouraging students to StandUpStandStrong
- Small group presentations on Kindness- Power of words
- Small group presentations on Cyberbullying - Encouraging students not to use their devices as weapons and how to help stop cyberbullying
- Small group Counselor presentations on the School Counselors Role at CMS
- Small group presentations on the appropriate use of CMS Hotline
- Promoting "STANDUPSTANDSTRONG" message encouraging students to stand up for others.
- Participating in National Bully Prevention Day on October 1st by promoting "Kind Is The New Cool" - Dragons Go BLUE
- "Weekly Stand" Announcements challenging students to be kind and compassionate towards others.
If you believe your child is being bullied, approach the situation by talking with them. Asking questions is the first step in helping them and can let them know that you are there for them and will listen. Follow up by contacting your child's grade level Assistant Principal.
References:
http://www.stompoutbullying.org/index.php/campaigns/national-bullying-prevention-awareness-month/
Cyberbullying Awareness and Prevention
Cyberbullying is a problem that affects almost half of all American teens. Whether you've been a target of cyberbullying, know someone who has been cyberbullied, or have even cyberbullied yourself, there are steps you can take to stop cyberbullying, and keep you and your children cyber-safe.
CMS counselors and administrators are committed to helping parents educate our students on the impact of cyberbullying. CMS administrators and counselors held group presentations with our students this month reminding them of ways to prevent bullying, including cyberbullying, and to STAND UP, STAND STRONG. We hope it was a great reminder to our students that we can't always see when other people are struggling, so it's best to be kind to everyone. It doesn't cost a thing to be kind, and you can get so much in return. We encouraged them to STAND UP, STAND STRONG if they witness unkind, mean, or bullying behavior. This includes not participating in online bullying behavior.
What can parents do?
- Start conversations with your child about cyberbullying.
- Regularly check your pre-teen/teens online behavior.
- Remind your child they should never participate in online bullying by liking, commenting, or sharing a rude, mean or bullying post or text.
- Encourage your child to take a stand against online bullying.
- Talk to your child about how to react if they encounter online bullying.
- Teach your child to T.H.I.N.K. before posting online. See Acronym below.
District Policy on Cyberbullying:
Additional resources and education:
http://www.safekids.com/bullying-cyberbullying-resources/
Drug Awareness Education
1. Physical Signs may include bloodshot eyes or change in pupil size, needle marks or bruising, runny nose/flu-like symptoms, sweating or unusual variation in temperature
2. Changes in normal behavior that may include withdrawing from family or friends, isolation even when around others, a change from shy to outgoing or from cheerful to withdrawn, or a change in social network.
3. Change in physical appearance may include a significant change in appetite/weight change and/or a lack of concern with grooming.
4. Sleep patterns can change, depending on the type of drug with stimulants decreasing the need or ability to sleep while others like heroin or certain prescription drugs increase sleepiness and may result on falling asleep at unusual times.
5. Certain items are associated with drug use such as clear plastic baggies, rolling papers, lighters, tubing, and burnt spoons.
FACTORS THAT INCREASE THE RISK OF DRUG ABUSE:
There are a number of factors that can increase the likelihood of drug use.
1. Mental illness such as bipolar disorder, depression or anxiety,
2. The influence of peers, family members or role models who use drugs,
3. Feelings of boredom as well as the opposite feeling of stress.
WHAT CAN YOU DO?
As 7th and 8th graders, students may increasingly have more opportunity to gather without adult supervision and with older youth while also wanting to act older than their age. The risk increases for drug and alcohol use and may be more acceptable as well as encouraged by their peers. Research shows that drug use increases at these ages. It is important to maintain open communication with your student as well as to help them develop problem-solving skills to resist peer pressure and cope with stress. Continue to maintain accessibility to your student's electronic device so as to monitor activities and friendships. Work with your student to develop positive life goals and realistic expectations of behavior while also building your student's self-confidence by recognizing their talents, accomplishments, and positive character traits. It is also important to educate yourself about drug and alcohol use as well as to set a good example through behavior, decision-making, and problem-solving. Develop an awareness in your student that asking for help is not a weakness. Continue to monitor friendships as well as get to know parents of your student's friends which helps to prevent opportunities for students to attend parties or functions without adult supervision.
HOW IS CMS EDUCATING STUDENTS ON DRUG ABUSE:
During Red Ribbon Week from October 22-26, students will have a variety of learning opportunities about the impact of drugs on their developing brains as well as decision-making and resisting peer-pressure. In addition, Officer Wilson often offers Drug Education in classroom settings.
Resources:
- Growing Up Drug Free: A Parent's Guide to Prevention (PDF) <http://www.ed.gov/parents/academic/involve/drugfree/drugfree.pdf
- Tips for Raising Drug-Free Teens <http://ncadi.samhsa.gov/order.aspx?ID=16404
- Parents. The Anti-Drug <http://www.theantidrug.com
CISD Resiliency Project
How can my child meet with their counselor?
1. Teacher Referral
2. Parent Referral
3. Self Referral
We meet with students for many reasons:
1. Academic - Performance, struggles, test taking strategies, study skills etc.
2. Friendship/ Peer/Social Concerns
3. Personal Concerns
4. Behavioral Concerns
5. Stress/Anxiety
6. Responsive Services - meeting their immediate needs and concerns
If you have a concern and you would like for a counselor to meet with your child, please contact your child's grade level counselor via email or phone.
Thank you!
CMS Counseling Staff
8th Grade Counselor
Paula Lynn
7th Grade Counselor
Paula.lynn@southlakecarroll.edu
Website: http://cmscounselor.edublogs.org/
Phone: 817.949.5400
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CMSDragonsCounselors/