by Ava DeVlaminck
1. Go at your student’s pace!
Applying for college, scholarships, FAFSA, and senior year alone can be very stressful. It is very important to go at your student’s pace. You need to let them have control. Pressuring your student will only make them frustrated and agitated. They will continue the application and scholarship process when they feel ready. Whether they need to take a day and rest, or get it all done in one sitting, it should be up to them and their mental timeline.
2. Understand that letting go of high school is hard.
Leaving your friends, family, teachers, sports, clubs, and life behind is scary. Be there for your student throughout their senior year and know that when they hear that something is the “last” while in senior year can be scary. Support them and cherish every moment. After all, they are growing up.
3. Leaving home and going to a new place can be very scary!
Be supportive throughout the transition. Going from the small-town of Dryden to a big college is quite the culture shock. While in Dryden, your student has learned every peer, faculty, and space around them. Support them by visiting (with permission), calling, and letting them have independence while keeping them close to heart.
4. Have a set time to talk about college.
Bombarding your student with questions about college and the application process might just be enough to ruin their day, even if the parent’s intentions were good. Instead of pushing for questions that the student may not be ready to answer, have a set time to talk about college every week. Even if it is for 15 minutes while you eat dinner. This allows the student and parent to prepare and ultimately lead to a more successful conversation.
5. Have a sit-down conversation about financial aid.
The one thing that every parent and student dreads about college is the hefty price tag that follows. Some students don’t know how they will be paying for college and need some direction. If you are choosing to pay for some, or all, of your student’s college, voice it! There is nothing more comforting that a student can hear than that some, or all, of their college is paid for. If you are only paying for a little, or none, of your student’s college expenses, teach them about loans. It is better to learn healthy financial habits from a parent than a YouTube video!
6. Understand that the student might know more information about college and the application process. (It’s okay!)
It is 2024, and as the parent, you probably went to school in a year that started with a 19. Thus, understand that times have drastically changed. Not only has the application process, but the entire flow of college as well. Understand that it is okay to take a step back and let your student know more information about you. Adding onto that. Don’t look into their intended major and then ask questions as if you were going into that major. Once again, understand that they have probably researched more than you.
7. Gently share your experience.
Despite having times change, gently telling your student about your experience in college can help them ease into the transition. This does not mean comparing your experience with theirs, but explaining that it is okay to be nervous about making new friends because you did, or that they will find their classes because you did. Use your experience to reassure them that college will all be okay.
8. Don’t let your feelings about your child leaving cloud your judgment.
Your student leaving and possibly making you an empty nester is sad and upsetting. The student is going to miss you just as much. Instead of always acting sad and talking about how you are going to miss them, be excited for them and understand that you need to show happy emotions for them to be happy. You can still call them every night and see them on weekends if possible. There are ways to still see your student, so don’t be so hard on yourself!
9. Don’t tell your student(s) where they can and cannot go.
The last thing a student wants is to regret their college education. They need to be able to choose where they want to go and what they want to do. Just because the school is your alma mater, or you are a die-hard fan, doesn’t mean your student wants to go there. Talk to them and let them make the decision.
10. Enjoy it!
Enjoy that your students want to go to college/trade school! Life goes by too fast to not enjoy their senior year with them. Go to all of the senior events, hang out with them, soak up the little stuff! Your student is excited to graduate and you should be too. This not only means that your student succeeded, but that you succeeded as a parent. Congratulations!
