Hello Eastwood Elementary Families,
Stress. Worry. Anxiety. Everyone experiences these feelings to some extent from time to time. As adults, we utilize strategies to help us work through these challenging feelings. Our students are young, growing, and eager to learn, which presents a great opportunity for them to learn and practice coping strategies to navigate these feelings.
Managing worries and anxiety can be tricky not only for students but also for the adults who are trying to provide support and help for their child. As parents and educators, we sometimes change our own behavior (response) in an effort to help them feel less anxious. We accommodate our child in an effort to alleviate their distress.
Have you ever found yourself wondering…How is it that I am working so hard so that my child won’t feel anxious, but they are becoming even more anxious?
Is there a way that we can respond to our children that shows acceptance of the genuine distress they are feeling along with confidence in their ability to tolerate and handle that distress? Is it possible to reduce the accommodations for our children and instead step into a supportive role that sends this message…I understand how worried you must feel, but I believe in you. I know you can handle that fear. I see how brave you are, and I know you will be able to work through this situation. I can tell this is very tough for you. I know you can handle it.
Dr. Eli Lebowitz is an expert in childhood anxiety. He has developed a simple two-part “recipe” for parents/guardians of children with anxiety: 1) Use validation and 2) Have confidence in our child’s ability to tolerate discomfort.
Let’s look at a couple original statements from Dr. Lebowitz and see how they can be changed into supportive statements using this “recipe”:
Original Statement: This isn’t easy for anyone.
Supportive Statement: I can see this isn’t easy (validation) and I know you can handle it (confidence in child).
Original Statement: You will have to be able to do this next school year.
Supportive Statement: Anxiety is uncomfortable (validation) and you have the ability to get through this (confidence in child).
Original Statement: There are a lot of people in our house. We can’t always be focused on you.
Supportive Statement: This is hard (validation). You have gotten through this before and I know you can again (confidence in child).
Shifting our communication style might be an adjustment. Also, simply saying supportive statements will not necessarily get rid of our child’s anxiety. However, it is a very helpful, supportive step for managing their anxiety…a very important life skill, no doubt. :)
Please reach out any time with questions or concerns. I’m happy to help! Thank you!
Best Regards,
Nikki Ohms, M.Ed., LPSC
School Counselor
Eastwood Elementary
4700 Sugar Ridge Rd. Pemberville, OH 43450
nohms@eastwoodschools.org
419-833-2821 ext. 205
