by ASBSD Executive Director Douglas R. Wermedal, PhD

The calendar is getting skinny, wish I could say the same for myself.

As the calendar and academic year progress toward 2024 now is a natural time to contemplate what turning the page to January will bring.

An important theme in ASBSD programming and training in the upcoming year will be how school boards support the academic achievement of our students. We focused our recent board engagement webinars on this topic asking critical questions about how the school board serves this most fundamental goal common to all districts – the academic success of students. If you weren’t able to join any of the four recent sessions on this topic, we have included our prompt questions in this issue and your board may want to work through these questions to check your focus on student success.

Training on academic success and how to foster it systematically will be one of the training topics embedded within first-ever ASBSD School Board Leadership Academy which will aim to provide an immersive leadership training program to interested school board members. The leadership academy program is detailed in this issue and our next issue will provide the application to participate.

ASBSD First Vice President Garret Bischoff presents an authentic heartfelt reminder about our core motivation for school board service and shares the unique way Huron involves students in school board meetings. Garret discussed this during our board engagement webinar’s earlier this month but wanted to share it in this format too.

Another thing January brings is of course the legislative session and this issue presents a legislative forecast identifying the bills relevant to school boards we believe will come before the 99th session of the South Dakota legislature.

Session is inherently unpredictable, so legislation other than what is presented could certainly arise, but this is our forecast for what lies ahead – Phil Schreck would be proud.

What are the rules surrounding roll call votes? This can be an interesting question, but it is best to know the guidelines before you are in the midst of a meeting and an important or contentious vote. ASBSD legal counsel Jessica Filler has some sage advice for observing roll call vote requirements.

McCartney, (and presumably Lennon) wrote a little ditty in 1967 with lyrics that said, “. . .I don’t know why you say good-bye, I say hello. . . ” ASBSD is doing both, saying hello to Jacob Boyko a marketing and communications intern with Pulitzer credentials (our first intern ever) and goodbye to long-time staffer Emily Somsen, who managed the Teacher Placement website amongst many other duties. Details on both transitions are in this edition of Highlights and Insights. FYI, for you Beatles fans out there (you know who you are) the B-side to Hello/Goodbye was also a hit titled “I am the Walrus”.

As will be our practice this edition also has generous helpings of information on grant applications, school board self-evaluations and upcoming ASBSD Board of Director elections.

Best wishes to each of you that this holiday season produces closeness with family and friends and enough unscripted time for you to be recharged for 2024.

by ASBSD First Vice President Garret Bischoff of the Huron School Board

We all have decided to run for our local school boards for our own reasons, but I’m a firm believer that if you broke those reasons down and analyzed them one theme would rise to the top, that reason would be our unwavering love for our students and our desire to see our communities flourish.

For many South Dakota communities, our schools are the backbone of our identity and in some cases a strong foothold in making our economy run.

So why do our public schools need champions?

Public schools take every single child that comes to our doors, and we welcome them, teach them, love them, and nourish them. We push our students to achieve not only at the level that they should be attaining, but we push them to exceed their growth potential.

We want them to succeed, but is that the story everyone in your community sees? Those certainly aren’t the headlines we see in national and state news, and those aren’t the narratives being told by some politicians.

What are you doing to share your student success that is unique to your district?

In Huron we recently restarted our student school board position, when COVID hit we decided to pause our student board members elections. Pre-COVID we had up to three non-voting student board members that were elected from our high school that could attend our meetings and were welcomed to add any input to the discussion on agenda items.

We made modifications with the restart post-COVID and changed it from three to one student member, but added some duties that bring extra substance to our meetings. Along with leading the pledge of allegiance each meeting, and giving insight on agenda items, our student board member selects one group or activity per month to bring into our meetings to report on.

With our board meetings being televised and livestreamed on the web this change has added a positive promotion for the benefits of our district to a wide audience. This is just one example of something Huron is doing, we’d love to hear your ideas and invite you to try ours.

We need you to champion your school.

Defy the current narrative and defend and support all of the wonderful things we do from the top row of the bleachers. Find new and innovative ways to spotlight student success, and do so in a way that allows the students' friends and family in your district to share in telling the story.

We need Champions in our schools because education is becoming a competition, and this is a competition that ALL students in our future generations of South Dakota need public education to win.

by ASBSD Director of Communications Tyler Pickner

The academic success of students is the paramount goal of school district leaders and that topic was at the forefront of the recent ASBSD Board Member Engagement Webinars.

School board members from across the state joined together online to discuss student academic success, what that looks like in their districts, how it’s celebrated and much more.

If you weren’t able to join the webinars, we encourage your local board to have that conversation.

The following list of student academic success discussion topics may help you facilitate that conversation:

• How does your school board celebrate student academic success?
• How is student academic success reported to your school board?
• How are areas of improvement in student academics reported to your school board?
• How often does your board receive these reports?
• What ways does your board and district measure student academic success?
• What ways does your board and district measure student academic areas in need of improvement?
• What is your District’s most important student academic metric (e.g. attendance, reading proficiency, college/career readiness, etc.)?
• What resources or training would benefit your school board’s student academic success review?
• How is the Department of Education’s literacy initiative deployed in your District?
• What do instructional staff think about adjusting curriculum to boost standardized test scores? Is teaching toward a test a bad thing?
• How will the likely transition away from Smarter Balance testing and to ACT testing with juniors impact your District?

by ASBSD Executive Director Douglas R. Wermedal, PhD

You learn stuff if you can be quiet long enough to listen. As the ASBSD team has been listening in Pierre and around the State here is what we have learned might be coming in the 99th Session of the South Dakota Legislature.

Parents Bill of Rights: There is no doubt that parents are the primary partner in educating South Dakota’s children. Connecting with them about their student’s progress is a priority for everyone, but the nature and the extent of this connection is the subject of at least two potential bills. One bill may be highly prescriptive in its language, eroding local control and interfering with day-to-day instruction. The other bill could be more centrist in its language, offering broad guidelines for policy, but permit schools to articulate policy specifics.

ACT Replacing Smarter Balance: This legislation would replace Smarter Balance testing in the 11th grade with the ACT test. Benefits are the ACT is widely used as an admission criteria in many colleges, technical institutes and for scholarship awards. Current language in House Bill 1002 indicates the State would fund the cost of the test. At this time, South Dakota has one of the highest ACT averages in the region and is above the national average. If the ACT test becomes compulsory for all juniors, then South Dakota’s average ACT test score will almost certainly decline.

CTE Instructional Staff: Providing school boards wider access to instructional staff in the CTE subjects is another potential bill. This bill would remove the four-year degree requirement for these selected subjects and allow an instructor to become certified with a two-year degree and two years work experience. School boards could renew this certification annually for up to four years.

Professional Practices and Standards Commissions Merger: Currently two professional practices and standards commissions exist, one which deals with ethics complaints involving teachers and another which handles complaints regarding administrators. The Department of Education wants to merge these commissions for the ease/efficiency of administration. The merged commission would hear complaints against both teachers and administrators and be composed of three administrators and three teachers all with active South Dakota licensure and one parent of a student currently enrolled and/or one school board member currently serving. The merger may not end up saving much money (estimates are just $7,500) and may erode fairness by reducing the number of peers reviewing a complaint. Another concern is that it also reduces ethics complaints reviewers from 14 to 7.

Suicide Certifications: Suicide training is currently tracked by DOE as part of the teacher certification process. The Department indicates up to 40 percent of all teacher certification delays are associated with non-completion of suicide training, either not accessing approved training, or failing to complete the training every 5 years. DOE’s proposal will move this tracking function to the school districts as part of the accreditation process. This move would not be just for new teachers becoming certified, but all renewals as well.

County Finance: Several bills associated with county government finance look to be advanced during this session. The one most concerning to schools (and municipalities) would be a bill which would propose a “service fee” assessed by the county and deducted from the local tax revenue collected and dispersed to schools and municipalities.

School Resource Officer/Sentinel: A bill requiring districts to provide a School Resource Officer and/or sentinel in every building in which classes are held is another piece of potential legislation. A number of the provisions of the bill are likely prohibitively expensive, require a work force which will be difficult to recruit, and have profound impacts on the liability insurance of a school.

Library/Instructional Materials Review: This is another area where competing versions of a bill may emerge. The polarities are similar to the parent’s bill of rights. One version will likely be very prescriptive and filled with “must” and “shall” text. Another version would describe broad policy parameters and ask districts to fill in the specifics within their own board policy.

Targeted Teacher Salary and Accountability: Since Teacher Compensation Review Board wrapped its study in September, the Department of Education has stated they will bring legislation to update the targeted teacher salary number from the 2017 figure in order to establish a new accountability mechanism. Given Gov. Noem’s comments in her budget address that school boards are not passing along state aid increases to teacher salary, we expect the accountability method to be a source of debate.

Voucher Bill: We anticipate another attempt to divert public taxpayer dollars into alternative instruction in some form. All the classic arguments still apply, among them are concerns of diverting public dollars to non-public education with none of the testing, finance, behavioral or transparency requirements, which will be detrimental to South Dakota’s kids. There is no impoverishment of public education that is not eventually an impoverishment of South Dakota.

Honorable Mention: There may be some action on these fronts as well, but not going into detail at this time: credit hour differentials .5 vs. 1.0 for advance placement courses, and some form of free school lunches.

There is still some time before bills move from draft into final language as session begins on Tuesday, January 9, so ASBSD positions on any given piece of legislation may evolve based on amendments to bills that emerge during the legislative process.

We’re going to need everyone’s help in supporting the bills benefitting public education and defeating those that are detrimental to our schools. And the more voices the better! Please, get involved, join the Legislative Action Network and help ASBSD support the public school setting.

You’ve been elected to the school board and have experience in how school boards operate, but are you a leader on your board, in your school and community?

Want to enhance your leadership skills, and learn how to lead with purpose? ASBSD is excited to announce the creation of the School Board Leadership Academy (SBLA).

This dynamic course is designed to enhance the leadership skills of school board members. Each session is designed to foster self-reflection and gain new expertise about leadership as well as how to apply that knowledge to their school board work.

Three in-person sessions along with three online meetings, will bring a cohort of 25 current school board members together to learn about leading their school boards and community. Guest speakers, with extensive leadership experience, case studies designed to engage participants in deep conversations, and lessons on effective leadership strategies will engage the cohort in lively meaningful discussions regarding effective leaders do. The course will be facilitated by former ASBSD Executive Director, Dr. Wade Pogany.

SBLA outcomes for the course; participants will:

1. Learn about key principles of effective leadership, and how to apply them.
2. Interact with guest presenters, learning from their leadership experience.
3. Learn the importance of student achievement as a core purpose of schools, understand the fundamentals of student achievement and the need for leadership of student learning.
4. Learn essential skills of working as a team.
5. Learn how leadership is about change and how to affect change.
6. Understand how to lead with purpose.
7. Reflect on their own leadership experience and share with others.
8. Participants will be asked to create and present a leadership project of their own choosing that demonstrates an activity designed to enhance the goals of their school board and school district.

The course will begin in May, 2024, and continue through January, 2025.

The tentative dates being considered:

• Session #1 (online); March 27, noon to 1:00 (1 hour)
• Session #2 (face-to-face in Pierre); May 8, session runs 10:00am to 3:00pm (5 hours)
• Session #3 (face-to-face in Pierre); August 14, session runs 10:00am to 3:00pm (5 hours)
• Session #4 (face-to-face in Pierre); Nov 7, session runs 10:00am to 3:00pm (5 hours)
• Session #5 (online); Dec. 5, noon to 2:00pm (2 hours)
• Session #6 (online); Jan. 8, noon to 2:00pm. (2 hours)

Watch for the release of the application in January. The first cohort will be selected based on:

1. Applicant must be a current school board member serving from May 2024 to February 2025.
2. School board members must have, or will have at least 2 years of service as a South Dakota school board member by July, 2024.
3. School districts must agree to pay for all transportation, travel costs and fees associated with the Leadership Academy. Course fee is anticipated to be $500.
4. Participants must commit to 3 in-person sessions and 3 online sessions as well as a capstone project at the end. University credit will be available.

More information on being a part of the School Board Leadership Academy will be available next year.

As 2023 comes to a close, ASBSD will wish all the best to a member of the team.

Long-time staff member Emily Somsen will retire as the year comes to a close.

“Emily’s efforts have helped advance the work of the Association for more than 20 years,” ASBSD Executive Director Dr. Douglas R. Wermedal said.

“On behalf of the school districts we serve, staff members, Board of Directors and many more people she’s interacted with during her time with ASBSD, we say thank you.”

Somsen served a variety of important roles in her time with ASBSD administrating the Teacher Placement website, being an integral part of the ASBSD-SASD Convention and the exhibit hall, superintendent searches, communication with our membership and much more.

“Congratulations to Emily on her decision to enter the Promised Land called retirement,” Wermedal said. “We wish you all the best as you enjoy this next chapter of life.”

Jacob Boyko will work as the Associated School Boards of South Dakota’s 2024 intern.

Jacob graduated from South Dakota State University last May with a B.S. in journalism and minors in social media and political science.

At SDSU, he was heavily involved with the university newspaper, The Collegian. As news editor, Jacob covered the Students' Association, interviewed Gov. Kristi Noem and Rep. Dusty Johnson, and was on the ground whenever news was breaking at SDSU.

Last spring, Jacob submitted a story idea to the Pulitzer Center for Crisis Reporting that sent him all the way to South America. During a family trip to Buenos Aires in December 2022 following the World Cup excitement, Jacob learned from locals that the Riachuelo de la Matanza, a small, heavily polluted river that borders the city, is seeing slow results from a government clean-up effort and is continuing to negatively affect the health of locals.

Jacob received a grant that allowed him to return to Argentina and stay for a month while he reported. He had the opportunity to interview government officials, environmentalists, and locals living in informal settlements along the river known as misery villages.

Most recently, Jacob worked as a reporting intern at South Dakota News Watch where his coverage of statewide issues was published in more than 20 newspapers and online outlets across North Dakota, South Dakota, and Iowa.

Jacob is a California native, moving from Shingle Springs to Madison, South Dakota, in 2014 after his father, Tom, went to work at East River Electric Cooperative as CEO. Though initially a culture shock, Jacob came to love South Dakota and its quiet, snowy prairies, and the gray, endless sky during summer thunderstorms, and the people he’d never met before giving him a nod and a smile while walking down Main Street.

Jacob lives on several acres in Madison with his parents, Tom and Kim, his sister, Claire, a border collie, lots of cats, and a lot of Muscovy ducks too.

He also enjoys collecting old electronics. Jacob’s collection includes vintage video game systems and consoles, radios, and several dozen CRT televisions.

by ASBPT Director and ASBSD CFO Holly Nagel

Winter break is a time of year that is much anticipated by school staff and students. During this time, district buildings may be unoccupied for extended time to observe holidays and provide everyone with a much‐needed break.

In addition to basic security issues, schools located in cold weather regions also have the important task of planning ahead and taking precautions for avoiding the possibility of frozen water pipes and ensuring that snow and ice are consistently removed from school property.

Frozen and subsequently broken water pipes can do a distressingly thorough job of wreaking havoc on school buildings, not to mention the dollar amount associated with this event. For Districts who have recently completed construction and/or added new HVAC, Fire Suppression, and Plumbing:

• Remember that this is an entirely new exposure for the district.
• Develop a plan to conduct more frequent inspections on areas with new construction and mechanical equipment.
• Ensure that all remote monitoring systems and applications are up to date and working correctly.
• Ensure that more than one person is trained on the use of new equipment emergency shut off devices.
• Did you know that aside from wind and hail, pipe breaks are the most significant loss driver for ASBPT’s property coverage?

While staff and students are on winter break, district buildings and grounds are often busy with other events including tournaments, practices and staff coming in to prepare for their students return to the classroom. Slip and fall incidents continue to rise.

Even when classes are not in session, the removal of snow and ice from school property is very important. To prevent the possibility of slip, trip and fall injuries, sidewalks, steps, parking lots, driveways and interior areas of buildings should be kept clear of snow and ice.

Everyone can take an active role in preventing slips, trips and falls. With the primary safety goal to prevent employees, students and visitors from being injured, one way to achieve this goal is to identify and correct problems before an accident occurs.

Fortunately, by being more aware of potential slip, trip and fall situations, these conditions can be better identified, reported and corrected before someone becomes injured.

ASBPT members can benefit from employee safety trainings/webinars, annual safety and risk reviews, health screenings, and life services toolkits.

Contact Nagel at hnagel@asbsd.org or at 605-773-2515 to learn how your district can benefit from these and other offerings.

by ASBSD Director of Policy and Legal Services Jessica Filler

The world we live in allows remote video participation by anyone, anywhere, anytime, by the click of a Zoom app button.

Does anyone even remember ‘back in the day’ when our only option for remote participation was conference calls with dial-in numbers?

COVID made us all experts at conducting board meetings by teleconference. A teleconference is any information exchanged by an audio, video, or electronic medium, including the internet.

How do board members vote during meetings where none or only some members are physically present in the board meeting room? Do all votes need to be taken by roll call if one or more board members is participating remotely?

If one board member or more participates in the meeting via phone, internet, Zoom, Teams, (basically any audio/video remote participation) we have a state law that instructs how the voting must be done.

A roll call vote needs to be done for the purpose of determining a quorum. Then, for each vote during the board meeting, a voice vote can be done. However, if any member votes in the negative, the vote then must proceed to a roll call vote.

Also, according to the rules of parliamentary procedure, a board member can request a roll call vote on any motion, which does not require a second or a vote.

If your board meeting has some members present in person and some participating remotely, there is nothing prohibiting you from doing a roll call vote on every motion. However, a voice vote is allowable, unless someone votes Nay. Then, a roll call vote must be done on that motion, with the minutes reflecting how each member voted.

by ASBSD Director of Communications Tyler Pickner

Two state departments are seeking school district applicats for grants in 2024.

Grants to support out-of-school-time learning available.

The Department of Education (DOE) supports out-of-school-time programs statewide through the 21st Century Community Learning Centers (21CCLC) Grant. The learning centers provide academic enrichment opportunities and activities during afterschool and summer programs to students from high-poverty and low-performing schools.

Grant award amounts range from $50,000 to $300,000 per year for five years. Funding comes from the federal government in the form of formula grants to the states. Schools and programs that provide care for students outside of the normal school day are encouraged to apply.

Entities interested in applying must submit a Notice of Intent to Apply by Jan. 31, 2024. Applicants will then receive the information needed to access the online system. The deadline for full application is March 22, 2024.

The Notice of Intent to Apply and guidelines for filling out the application can be found at https://doe.sd.gov/21CCLC/.

Schools can apply for Homeland Security Grants beginning Jan. 1

The window to apply for 2024 State Homeland Security Grant funding opens Jan. 1, 2024.

Applications must be submitted through the South Dakota Department of Public Safety’s EDGAR (Electronic Database for Grant Application & Reporting) system by Feb. 15, 2024, at 5 p.m. (CT).

Before applying, please read the application instructions.

All grant projects must have a nexus to homeland security – providing protection against terrorism threats. Examples of funded projects include but are not limited to: access control systems such as electronic locks, video entry, door locks, metal detectors, and panic buttons; fencing, gates, barriers; cybersecurity risk assessments; training and awareness programs; rescue equipment; and more.

Award agreements will be sent after funding becomes available (expected September 2024); projects cannot start before the grant award agreement is completed. Find more information on the South Dakota Homeland Security Grants webpage or call 605-773-3450.

by ASBSD Director of Communications Tyler Pickner

The 2024 election cycle for the ASBSD Board of Directors has begun and school board members from your district can run for election in the region and enrollment category in which your district is in.

Those region and enrollment categories include:

Central region with enrollment 265 & Under:

• Agar-Blunt-Onida, Bowdle, Burke, Colome Consolidated, Edmunds Central, Eureka, Gettysburg, Herreid, Highmore-Harrold, Hoven, Jones County, McIntosh, Selby Area, Smee and South Central

Central region with enrollment 1,400-9,999:

• Pierre and Todd County

Northeast region with enrollment 1,400-9,999:

• Aberdeen, Brookings, Huron and Watertown

• Brandon Valley, Harrisburg, Mitchell, Tea Area and Yankton

• Bennett County, Haakon, Hill City, Kadoka Area, New Underwood and Wall

Eligible board members interested in running for a four-year term on the Board of Directors can click here to download the Announcement of Candidacy form, and return it to ASBSD by Tuesday, February 20. Only one member from a school board may serve on the ASBSD Board of Directors.

Send completed forms to ASBSD Executive Secretary Katie Mitchell-Boe by email to katie@asbsd.org, by fax to 605-773-2501 or by mail to ASBSD at P.O. Box 1059, Pierre SD, 57501. Only one school board member per district may sit on the ASBSD Board of Directors.

If you have questions, please contact me at tpickner@asbsd.org or at 605-773-8382.

by ASBSD Director of Communications Tyler Pickner

Why evaluate your school board?

Because you want accountability. You want improvement in your operations. Because you want to do the best you can for your school system and community.

This commitment to quality, to excellence, and to local control of the educational system is the real why.

Take a few moments to analyze your board, your relationships, your operation, your meetings, your school system, the publics you serve, and your commitment to educational excellence.

Click here to find our school board self-evaluation tool.

The services and support given to school boards through ASBSD is extensive with the list below covering those benefits and services that only come with being a member in ASBSD.

Advocacy

• Countless hours of policy and legislative work with the administration, state agencies and legislators.
• LAN communications, legislative updates and Billtracker services during session.
• Legal research on bills and K-12 education issues.
• Delegate Assembly opportunity for members to influence the Association’s legislative positions.
• Staff travel for advocacy work.

Board Development and other training attendance opportunities

• GAVEL training workshops and customized board training opportunities for members.
• ASBSD-SASD Annual Convention.
• Collective Bargaining workshops and Negotiation Contract webinars.
• In-person regional meetings in the fall.
• School Law Webinars with the best school law minds in the state.
• Webinars lead by the ASBSD Board of Directors with board members.
• Online training courses through School Board U.

Policy and Legal Services

• More than 450 sample policies maintained and updated regularly on the ASBSD policy manual access for free.
• Periodic policy alerts with new and revised policies for boards to adopt as laws and issues evolve.
• Support from ASBSD Director of Policy and Legal Services Jessica Filler on requests for policy help from superintendents and boards.
• Calls on legal questions and technical support for superintendents and boards.

Communication Services:

• Regular communications about education information and ASBSD events.
• Research/responses on education topics requested by board members.
• Database management.

Honors, Awards, and Recognitions

• Academic Excellence Luncheon.
• ALL (Act, Learn, Lead) awards for board participation.
• Outstanding School Board Member and School Board Award of Excellence program.

Teacher Placement Posting Positions

• Post all open positions in your district for FREE on ASBSD’s Teacher Placement website.

Eligible for additional services with ASBSD membership

• ASBSD Protective Trust Services:
• South Dakota School District Benefits Fund for health insurance coverage
• Workers’ Compensation Fund
• Property/Liability Fund
• Superintendent searches
• P-Card program
• Quorum meeting planner subscription service
• Hearing officer for board hearings

by ASBSD Executive Director Douglas R. Wermedal, PhD

Author’s Note: The community feeling our public schools have come not only from the skilled instructional staff, but also a cadre of excellent office staff, food service personnel and the custodial team who contribute to making a student feel connected and cared for. Here is one such tale.

The 1970s were a dangerous time to be a kid. Parents sent us to bed in flammable jammies, nobody used seat belts in the car, (in fact a couple times I rode on Dad’s lap and steered), and our breakfast cereals were laden with sugar. Nothing like a full-on Cap’n Crunch buzz while watching the Road Runner on Saturday morning cartoons. BEEP, BEEP!

Speaking of 70’s childhood hazards, during the early 1970s there used to be an item of winter wear, an outer garment, called a snowmobile suit. This super-insulated, restrictive apparel could transform even the scrawniest of kids into a Thanksgiving Parade balloon. To be certain a snowmobile suit assured its wearer of warmth, but it was too much warmth if you were anywhere but outside. When we kids would come in from recess we would instantly race to shed, hats, boots and mittens quickly without regard for ownership (went home with the wrong boots more than once), so you could get the snowmobile suit off before you burst into flames. Once or twice a year we would lose a kid to spontaneous combustion from a snowmobile suit shed too slowly.

The most fashionable of snowmobile suits had color schemes that matched the family sled. You might have a dashing black and purple ensemble for an Arctic Cat, yellow and black for Ski Doo, blue and white for a Sno Jet and so on. My snowmobile suit was brown on the outside with a yellow lining. Fully ensconced in this garment I looked like a bulging, ambulatory, tootsie roll. Wisely, no manufacturer made a brown snowmobile (you know…deer hunters) so my type of suit was one of the generic rabble of snowmobile suits that would be piled like beaver pelts at a fur trader’s outpost in the local retail outlets.

Yet even in spite of heat stroke, blindness and asphyxiation risks presented by every snowmobile suit. The most troublesome feature of all was the massive metal zippers which ran from ankle to neckline and were guaranteed to jam at least twice for every attempt to zip up. Since snowmobile suits were designed for the coldest of weather, the all metal zippers topped with an all metal zipper pull would frequently adhere in flagpole-fashion to little kids lips.

I became well-acquainted with our school’s custodian during grade school, a sweet guy named Lorne Stotts, us kids called him “the Fonz” because we all thought Lorne was the coolest. Once or twice a week the Fonz would have to take a pliers to the indestructible, multi-toothed, metal monster which held me in the grip of yet another zipper jam. All the while with wisps of smoke curling up from within the superheating suit, the Fonz would have to work quickly if he didn’t want a pile of smoking first-grader cluttering his custodial office.

Eventually the snowmobile suit craze gave way to a similar craze for parkas. During the Great Parka Period everyone started wearing navy blue/orange lining parkas. The chief characteristic of this garment was the fur-lined tube which formed when you zipped the thing all the way to the top. All the kids on the playground looked like fuzz-topped periscopes in search of a submarine.

We’re a lot smarter about winter wear these days. Thinsulate and similar materials have made it possible to stay warm without looking like part of an Apollo mission. Still the line of kids outside of Lorne’s shop waiting for him to work his magic pliers and liberate us from our zippered sauna is a treasured memory. As is Lorne’s smile and the candy cane he would give each kid as he released them back into their natural grade school habitat. Heck if the line was long enough and your zipper jam bad enough you might even miss out on working with fractions, an early Christmas gift if there ever was one.