Kindness, Honesty and Respect
Respect lies at the heart of every quality relationship. Here at school, we spend a considerable amount of time and effort each day talking, modelling and explicitly teaching children about respect and why it really matters. Learning to develop respectful relationships is such an important contributor to overall happiness, wellbeing and learning opportunity, and it takes time, good modelling, clear messaging and consistent support from home and school.
A day doesn’t go by when we are not encouraging respectful talk and respectful choices here at school. Friendships, and developing a sense of belonging, in and out of the classroom, are important parts of a child’s school life, and why learning to be respectful of others is so important.
Unfriendly or ‘Mean on Purpose’ behaviours always originate from a lack of respect being shown towards another person. Some of the important messages that children receive here at school in regards to showing respect, include:
- Treat yourself and others with care, kindness and fairness.
- Learn to appreciate the similarities, differences and uniqueness of others.
- Let others know that what they think and feel is important to you.
- Empathise with the feelings of others.
- Learn to disagree in an agreeable way.
- Appreciate and follow the rules.
- Own your choices and be honest.
- Apologise when you have hurt someone and learn from mistakes made.
- Use online platforms responsibly.
When families are mindful of, and modelling respectful relationships at home, children come to school much better equipped to treat others with care, kindness, patience and respect. As parents, you play such an important role in teaching your child about respect.
Strong, loving families give children a safe, secure place to be themselves and to learn about who they are. Children learn about good communication from the way you talk to them, and others. This includes watching how you manage conflict or solve problems within and without your family. When your child sees you sorting out problems calmly and respectfully, you help them develop important skills for life.
Below are some simple reminders for supporting your child to learn about what respect means and why it matters.
Respect your child.
Show a sincere interest in how your child thinks and feels. Maintain good eye contact, put your phone down and really listen to them. Treat them as individuals; take a genuine interest in their daily lives. Engage them in back-and-forth questions where you ask your child a question (e.g., “What was the best part and the hardest part of your day?”) and then get them to ask you the same question.
Require respect.
Model and demonstrate what respect looks, sounds and feels like as shown by your tone, by what you say and model and by your body language, and do the same with disrespect. Monitor the programs your children are watching on tv, the movies and music they are listening to and any online games they may be playing. Have a “no tolerance” family agreement for disrespectful talk and less-than-respectful non-verbal responses, like rolling the eyes or stomping off in a huff. Teach your children how to express strong feelings in a respectful way and remember to encourage and compliment them when they speak politely and respectfully.
Model respect in your words and actions.
Set an example of respect by how you treat and talk to each other as a couple, how you treat and talk to your children, and in how you treat and talk about others outside the family (such as relatives, neighbours, and school staff). When you argue, avoid aggressive language and try to model resolving a problem or discussing a difference in opinion, calmly. Avoid uncharitable talk or gossip about other people and explain why such talk is not kind or respectful (“We don’t like it when people say rude or unkind things to us, or about us behind our backs, so we shouldn’t do it to others”).
Insist on respect in all family interactions.
Don’t allow siblings to tell each other to “shut up,” call each other names, or be rude or disrespectful to one another. Teach them to look at another person in the face when being spoken to. Mutual respect should be an explicit expectation in the family, i.e. an expected way of how your family does things.
Call out and correct disrespect.
When children speak or act disrespectfully, give immediate feedback: “Please say that in a more respectful way” “Check your tone of voice please.” “Take 5 minutes to calm down and we’ll talk about this later.” Consistent boundaries matter. It is not easy to be our wisest selves however, when we are tired, preoccupied or busy, so be aware of these things when you are speaking to your child, and be quick to apologise if you have not spoken or acted respectfully to your child. Children notice how you treat others - at the shopping centre, on the road, at family gatherings - be aware and aim high!
Establish a consequence
In a calm moment, explain to your child: “There will need to be a consequence if you continue to be disrespectful after a reminder.”
Natural consequences work best i.e if your child deliberately destroyed something that belongs to their sibling they will need to apologise and replace it. They also need to be able to think about how they would have felt if this was done to them.
Here at school we teach about what respect is, we express our high expectations of student behaviour and we support kids to resolve conflict in increasingly more appropriate and respectful ways as the child grows and develops. We also work really hard to maintain the dignity of every child, especially when, unsurprisingly, children ‘mess up’ and say or do things that are mean, hurtful, rude, untrue or inappropriate. These moments require us, as mature, caring, adult role models, to reflect on the dignity of the child - the firstly, the child that has been disrespected, and secondly, the child that showed a lack of care and respect. Challenging and supporting our kids to learn from mistakes made is important. Helping them to learn to empathise and place themselves in the shoes of another is important, and challenging them to commit to making a positive change for the future is important,Teaching children about respect is a life skill that needs to be consistently modelled, expected and sustained.
A sincere thank you to each and every St Bernie’s family, for doing your very best to both create and sustain respectful family relationships, one day at a time. Thank you to those families who understand that children need time, opportunity and support to learn from mistakes made. Thank you also to those parents who show respect and help to create a positive school environment by:
- modelling polite and responsible behaviour to their child
- working in partnership with the school
- communicating constructively
- following expected processes and protocols
- treating all school staff, students, and other members of the school community with care and respect.
Have a great weekend everyone!
Regards
Geordie
We'd like to say a very BIG thank you to our fabulous P&F and Oshclub for their donation of our new Defibrillator! This vital piece of equipment has been on our wish list for some time and now that we have one safely located in our admin block we are better equipped in case of an emergency.
Thank you!
St Bernadette's Catholic Primary School
Email: admin@stbernadettes.wa.edu.au
Website: https://stbernadettes.wa.edu.au
Location: 252 Grand Ocean Boulevard, Port Kennedy WA, Australia
Phone: (08) 9593 4066
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/stbernadettescps/