Counselor's Corner
October 2023
Counseling Monthly Focus
There is so much to think about each school year, but above all else, these simple rules can help keep you focused on what’s most important for school success.
Do
- Focus on the process, not the product.
- Encourage kids to self-advocate.
- Keep a long-term perspective.
- Maintain a healthy sleep schedule.
- Love the child you have, not the child you wish you had.
Don’t
- Overschedule.
- Worship grades.
- Encourage helplessness.
- Compare kids to one another.
- Love kids based on their performance.
Value the Process Over the Product
Very young children are naturally driven to learn and explore. They are at the very beginning of their lifelong quest to understand and gain mastery of the world around them. As they reach out, fall and get back up again, they gain a heightened sense of mastery, competence and self-efficacy. Somewhere around kindergarten, however, parents and teachers begin to undermine this process by devaluing the process of learning and replacing it with a mad dash for the end products. Suddenly, the intrinsic motivators of natural curiosity, competence and self-efficacy are less valuable than extrinsic motivators such as stickers, points and grades. Unfortunately, extrinsic motivators undermine kids’ desire to learn over the long term. Want your kid to lose interest in school? Pay them for their A’s and worship at the altar of grades. If you’d instead like your kids to remain curious and hungry for mastery, here are some tips for re-orienting kids’ priorities.
- Keep report cards off social media and the refrigerator. We can tell our kids that we value learning all we want, but when we gush over grades and stick them to the refrigerator, we show them that what we value most are the grades. Of course, grades are what most parents are stuck with, even if they are flawed and incomplete indicator of learning as well as what’s known as an “extrinsic motivator,” which has been shown to reduce motivation over the long term, undermine creativity, and encourage cheating. Some schools have moved away from letter-based grades and are using reports focused on mastery- or standards-based evaluations, which can help parents and kids focus on what’s being learned rather a grade. No matter what kind of report your child gets, humble-bragging about it on social media only feeds parental competition, raises the pressure for kids and teaches them that your love and approval is contingent on the content of their report card.
- Focus on the process they used to get that grade. When we invest less energy and emotion in the number or letter at the top of the page, we can begin to ask our children questions such as, What did you do to get this grade? Which study techniques worked for you and which ones did not? What are you going to do differently next time?
- Look forward, not back. The best question parents can ask when faced with a grade, whether high or low, is: How are you going to use this experience to be better next time? This technique works particularly well for anxious and overly perfectionist kids, because they can get stuck in a negative feedback loop, obsessing wholly on the numbers and grades. Helping them shift their focus back to the process can alleviate that anxiety, particularly when we help them prioritize the aspects of learning they can control.
Model: Talk about your own failures and successes with your kids, showing them that you, too, are invested in the process of learning. If you berate yourself over failures, so will they. If, however, they see you being brave and learning from your mistakes so you can be better next time, so will they.
Tutoring Resource:
Ontario Library
Brainfuse – HelpNow (Program)
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- Foreign Language Lab /Spanish-Speaking Support
Happy Healthy Kids TIP:
Present mornings, chores and homework time to kids as a problem to be solved together. In a quiet, calm moment, say, “You know, mornings are really hectic around here and it’s hard for everyone to remember to get out the door with everything they need. How do you think we can make mornings easier and happier?”
Kids are more likely to stick with a plan they created themselves. Buy-in happens most often when kids have a hand in creating strategies, and sometimes it’s more important to be functional and efficient than to be right.
October - Upcoming Events
10/6- Board Game Friday (student activity)
10/6- Coffee with the Counselor (via zoom) 9:00am-9:40am
https://us05web.zoom.us/j/87382973926?pwd=khNt83ArWXc31mguTaaPAuYyaFut8M.1
Meeting ID: 873 8297 3926
Passcode: hGyk9J
10/13- Coping Skills Fortune Teller (student activity)
10/20- Mindfulness Meditation (student activity)
10/26- NEU/ AVID Parent Night 5:00pm
10/27- Calming Bottle (student activity)
*Schedule subject to change without notice
MTSS-B Data Update (September 2023)
Monthly Counseling Room Student Sign-Ins: 512 students (recess and lunch)
Friday Activities-
9/8- Positive Affirmations- Bookmarks/Doorhangers - 15 students
9/15- Yoga - 18 students
9/22- Make Your Own Journal - 36 students
Lunch Bunch Tuesday's-
9/19/2023- 9 students
9/26/2023- 16 students
Tier 2 Interventions
-Small Group
20 students participating in Small Group intervention
-CICO (Check-In/Check-Out)
21 students participating in CICO intervention
Tier 3 Interventions
6 students participating in T3 interventions
Let's Connect!
Daniela Rodriguez
K-12 Intervention Counselor, MTSS-B
Levi H. Dickey Elementary
Daniela_Rodriguez@chino.k12.ca.us(909) 947-6693