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Coping and Resilience
Mental Health Matters: December 2021
Resilience is your paddle when you are feeling stressed and overwhelmed
There are times in all of our lives when we find ourselves stressed and overwhelmed. Some of the setbacks that knock us off course are relatively minor while others are devastating.
Regardless of the setback, one thing is certain: RESILIENCE IS YOUR PADDLE. The more resilient people are, the faster they bounce back from any setback. Resilient people use a variety of coping strategies to help them deal with setbacks and adversity and rebound quickly to a state of productivity and satisfaction.
People who lack resilience tend to drift aimlessly. They may feel overwhelmed, victimized, self-pity, hopeless, etc. Their productivity and their satisfaction plummet until they find a new direction and begin paddling again. The good news is resiliency skills can be strengthened.
Let’s look at 5 strategies you can use to get paddling again in the right direction.
1. SURROUND YOURSELF WITH THE RIGHT PEOPLE
There are 2 things to consider when evaluating your network. Are there people who support you that you enjoy spending time with whom you can confide? It is the quality, not quantity, of your network that matters. During challenging times, surrounding yourself with positive, resilient people will help you be more positive and regroup faster. People who complain, blame, and wait for others to solve their problems will hold you back. Look around you. Do you have the right people in your network? It is important it is to develop these relationships before you need them so they're already established when you do.
2. TAP INTO YOUR MOTIVATORS
Facing adversity or a setback can be discouraging and drain you of the energy required to begin moving forward again. Identify what motivates or energizes you. We are not all motivated by the same things so it is important to give some thought to what will energize you to start paddling again. Are you motivated to:
Achieve a sense of accomplishment?
Find a new purpose?
Earn the respect of others?
Find the lesson?
Beat your previous results?
Collaborate with others to get back on track?
When you tap into your personal motivators, you will feel a jolt of energy. The more you focus on them, the more energized you will feel. That can mean the difference between aimlessly drifting and purposefully moving in the right direction.
3. MANAGE YOUR THOUGHTS
Our thoughts directly impact our behavior. Remember, there are many ways to think about the things that knock you off course. If you find your mind swirling in negative thoughts, stop and write them down. Challenge their validity. Are they facts? Is there another way to look at the situation?
We often have more options than we realize. Don’t allow yourself to think, “I don’t have a choice.” Keep in mind that a choice you don’t like is still a choice, one of many you’ll make as you rebound. Remembering that can mean the difference between feeling empowered in a difficult situation and feeling victimized by it.
Resilient people believe they will bounce back, and they manage their thoughts to help them do so. Do your thoughts tend to lead to aimless drifting or do they help you refocus?
4. MANAGE THE STRESS
Stress is a natural byproduct of setbacks and adversity. Monitor your stress level so you can consciously manage it. One effective stress-management strategy that can be used almost anywhere is breathing. Deep breaths have been shown to decrease cortisol levels, which help reduce stress. The most effective breathing to manage stress is to inhale through the nostrils for 4 seconds and exhale through the mouth for 4 seconds. Focusing only on your breath during this time will help you regroup faster, and it will help you concentrate more effectively when you return to your task.
5. FIND WHAT YOU CAN CONTROL
It is difficult to move forward when we don’t feel like we have control. Remember, we can’t control what happens to us, but we can control our response to it. Finding what you can control during difficult times and making conscious choices from there will increase your confidence and help you rebound faster.
Next time you find yourself stranded in stress, remember resilience is your paddle.
- Surround yourself with positive people who will accelerate your rebound.
- Tap into your internal motivators to reenergize.
- Manage your thoughts so you’re focusing forward, not backward.
- Find ways to manage stress that are effective for you.
- Finally, in every situation, there are things you can control. Find those and make conscious choices where you can.
-Information derived from Klassen Performance Group
Why getting to know YOUR STRENGTHS matters
Character strengths are the positive parts of your personality that make you feel authentic and engaged. You possess all 24 character strengths in different degrees, giving you a unique character strengths profile.
Research shows that understanding and applying your strengths can help:
- Boost Confidence
- Increase Happiness
- Strengthen Relationships
- Manage Problems
- Reduce Stress
- Accomplish Goals
- Build Meaning and Purpose
- Improve Work Performance
Take the FREE Survey - below ......
(You can create your own user name on the VIA website and you will get a report of your character strengths results).
Strength-Based Approach
Think of your top strength from your VIA Character you completed above. Strengthening those should be your focus, not focusing on your areas of (perceived) weakness. Read more below about strength-based approach, specifically the 50 strength based example questions. (See link below). Use your answers to these questions as your guide in figuring out your plan and approach to tackle any issues that arise in life.
Building coping skills by adopting a range of strategies
1) Plan Ahead
We can’t always predict when challenges will come our way. But we can plan ahead. The ultimate way to plan ahead is to … literally make a plan! Think of your goals for the school year and personal goals and what you need to do to get there. Grab a journal or notes on your phone. It doesn't matter where you start, as long as you start a plan.
2) Break Problems Down
It’s hard to think clearly when stressed because hormones and emotions are running high. Anxiety puts our brains into panic mode and, in turn, has trouble processing information and making decisions. That’s why it’s important for you to take time to process feelings and restore calm before making decisions. Tackle one problem, or even one piece of a problem, at a time. Make lists, map out the pros and cons of each choice or bounce ideas off someone else. Find ways to break seemingly big problems down into more manageable pieces and your anxiety/stress will significantly decrease.
3) Deal with Emotions
Stress causes all kinds of uncomfortable feelings. Anxiety, tension, frustration, and nervousness to name a few. It’s important to release these emotions in healthy ways. Some people find writing about their feelings in a journal to be helpful. Others benefit from creatively expressing themselves through art, music, dance, exercise, reading, cooking, gaming or hanging with friends, meditating, praying, or talking with someone. Pay attention to what works best for you.
4) Attend to Physical Health
Exercise is one of the best ways to deal with stress. It’s also important to eat healthy, get enough sleep, and build some relaxation time into busy schedules. When teens are healthy and relaxed they will have the energy needed to endure challenges. If our physical needs aren't met/taken care of (ie - sleeping, eating, exercising) then mental health suffers.
5) Avoid Stressful Things
While some situations need to be faced head on, others can be avoided altogether. This doesn’t mean running away from problems. It’s about being thoughtful of the people, places, and things that cause discomfort. Figure out what’s causing you stress and avoid it if you can. Learn how to say NO to something that will leave you feeling depleted or bad afterwards. This kind of self-awareness is empowering.
-Information derived from Center for Parent and Teen Communication
Don't forget your supports are close by! Here are your school and community resources ....
COMMUNITY SUPPORTS:
SCIP (Screening and Crisis Intervention Program)
@ Lourdes Medical Center of Burlington County
218 Sunset Road, Willingboro, NJ 08046
(609) 261-8000
1-877-652-7624 (24 hours a day/7 days a week)
https://oaksintcare.org/services/child-and-family-services/child-adult-family-counseling-services/
https://www.centerffs.org/our-services/counseling-behavioral-health
Family Support Organization of Burlington County
ONLINE SUPPORTS:
American Foundation for Suicide Prevention
NJ Youth Helplines
1-800-273-8255
Text or call: 1-888-222-2228
NJ Suicide Prevention Hope line
1-855-654-6735
Text HOME to 741741
For more resources, visit the SAC website
https://sites.google.com/burlcoschools.org/westechsacservices-cech/home
WESTECH SUPPORTS:
Mr. Fitzgerald, School Counselor (A-F) sfitzgerald@burlcoschools.org
Ms. Johnson, School Counselor (Cru_Har) bjohnson@burlcoschools.org
Mr. Frable, School Counselor (Has-McC) jfrable@burlcoschools.org
Mrs. Digney, School Counselor (McD-Ris) kdigney@burlcoschools.org
Mrs. Sabatino, School Counselor (Rit-T) msabatino@burlcoschools.org
Mrs. Daily, School Counselor (Wa-Z) jdaily@burlcoschools.org
Ms. Cech, Student Assistance Counselor ccech@burlcoschools.org
Mrs. Artz, Learning Consultant, bartz@burlcoschools.org
Ms. Christian, School Social Worker, mchristian@burlcoschools.org
Dr. Clayton, School Psychologist, jclayton@burlcoschools.org
Officer Moran, Student Resource Officer ment@burlcoschools.org
Mrs. Fowler, School Nurse hfowler@burlcoschools.org
Remember:
It’s not about ‘what’s wrong with you, but what happened to you’ and how to work through processing it all in a healthy way. By staying on top of your mental health maintenance you will move from struggling to surviving to thriving. And if you find yourself stalling or slipping, reach out to us - we are here to help!