

SAC Corner
Issue No. 4
December
Intrusive Thoughts
Intrusive thoughts are bothersome thoughts we cannot keep out of our head and cause us feelings of distress, sadness, harm, or worry. Everyone has them at some point, it's actually normal.
Oftentimes we think of self-harm urges and suicide contemplation as intrusive thoughts, and they are. Also so is the desire to harm others, worrying about school, fears and phobias, body image, the unknown of the future, etc.
*Some* causes are trauma, anxiety, depression, OCD, and ADHD. But you don't have to have one of these diagnoses to struggle with intrusive thoughts.
What to do:
- Accept them. You can't stop them from happening, but you can refuse to let them control you.
It's uncomfortable, but it's important to learn to deal with discomfort too. - Thoughts do not have to equal action. You don't have to do what the thought suggests doing.
You're stronger than an intrusive thought. If you don't give it power, it'll eventually go away - Reframe it. It may be your brain saying "help me", so brainstorm what or who could help remove this thought.
Therapist? Extra help in class with a teacher? Change of scenery/less triggering environment?
Check out more here: https://www.newportacademy.com/resources/mental-health/intrusive-thoughts/
What The Heart Can't Take
The American Heart Association (AHA). Yesterday, it released a study that found older adults who smoke marijuana have higher risks of heart attacks and strokes. They also found that daily marijuana smokers have a 34% higher chance of developing heart failure.
Talk About What It Really Means
"Literally" "Ignorant" "Social media = bad" "Die" "Gay" "Toxic"
If you spend time with adolescents you likely hear the word "literally" used hyperbolically (with no ironic intention) or the word "ignorant" when someone means jerk rather than uneducated. Misusing these words may be annoying but it is also pretty harmless.
Less harmless is saying "gay" when you mean lame or uncool. It's insulting to the LGBTQ+ community. It's associating an identity with something bad. If you hear "gay" being misused, pause the conversation to talk about it. "What do you mean when you say that's so gay?" "Why did you choose the word gay?" "What is a better word?" "Are you intending to insult people who are gay?"
Hilary Duff is pretty famous for her PSA https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b_MIb3mYznE
"I want to kill myself" "I'd rather die" & similar phrases, we are probably all guilty of saying at one time or another as an exaggeration. If you hear your kid saying it, pause the conversation. Ask things like "Do you really want to die?" "Do you think about suicide?" "What's a better way to phrase what you're feeling?" "Do you know that suicide is a real concern among adolescents?" "It can hurt me as your parent/guardian/sibling/friend to hear you say that, even as a joke. Could you say something different?" "Do you know what it means to die?"
Explain that hyperbole is totally fine, but there is a line between not really possible and possible. Saying "I want to kill myself." is a very real possible feeling, but saying "I'd rather perform dentistry on a shark" shows humor and does not cause anyone to believe you intend to do something so dangerous.
Almost any kid can tell you that social media is bad. Almost any adult can tell you high fructose corn syrup is bad. Most adults probably can't articulate why so well, they just know it. Even if they could explain why, most adults are probably still consuming it. Kids are still consuming social media even when they know that it can be harmful. Talk about why and how social media is harmful and talk about it more than once. Saying things out loud can reinforce it and drive the message home. Also, like high fructose corn syrup, talk about portion control/small doses. Healthier ways to consume social media in moderation.
A big ticket word these days is "toxic". If your kiddo is referring to someone a toxic, ask why. "What makes someone toxic?" "What is the difference between a toxic person and a person who you just aren't compatible with?" "What is the difference between a toxic person and a person who views the situation or solution differently than you?"
It's important that we don't allow ourselves to victimize ourselves. It's important to recognize not everyone who has a different idea of the dynamics of expectations of a friend/partner is a toxic person. Not everyone who doesn't like you is toxic. Sometimes things just don't work out, we get to know someone better and don't like them, etc. It's important for kids to be able to remove the need to label everything as good and bad. Sometimes it is gray. Sometimes it isn't anything, it just is. We don't want to create narratives for someone just based on our own experience either. It takes two to interact.
Perfectionist Problems?
A panel of male students were asked to watch contestant interviews with difficult questions. There were 4 videos shown: highly qualified, not qualified, highly qualified and spilled coffee during interview, not qualified and spilled coffee during interview. Different panelist viewed each video as it was the same actor in the 4 videos.
Both highly qualified candidates were chosen for the role, but the one who spilled coffee was more appealing than the the one who did not.
Clumsy mistakes, blunders, and imperfections can make individuals more attractive. It can humanize them. If your student has trouble with fear of failure, fear of embarrassment, acceptance of poor performance - remind them that being humanized is attractive. Any one failed test, missed homework, lost game, rejection letter, spilled coffee, etc. is just as important as any one instance of getting it right. We need these human experiences.
A person who never has to accept a failing grade, never dings the car, never misses a basket, never gets rejected, etc. is a person who has never had an opportunity to develop coping skills. These learning opportunities are crucial to mental health and appropriate developmental milestones in coping skills. People with poor coping skills can be at higher risk for thoughts of suicide, acts of self harm, catastrophizing, acts of bullying/violence, and misconduct.
Being Proactive
Resource for: therapy, BIPOC specific resources, free therapy, suicide, crisis, substance use, LGBTQIA+, & more
Missed an Issue?
2023 - 2024
Issue No. 2: https://www.smore.com/ndbwe
Issue No. 3: https://www.smore.com/8vhd5
issue No. 4: https://www.smore.com/udmjk
2022 - 2023
Issue No. 2: https://www.smore.com/1mqk7
Issue No. 3: https://www.smore.com/1ypcm
Issue No. 4: https://www.smore.com/23j8h
Issue No. 5: https://www.smore.com/sn9uj
Issue No. 6: https://www.smore.com/pqxg3
Issue No. 7: https://www.smore.com/c8nv5
Issue No. 8: https://www.smore.com/0ucpg
Issue No. 9: https://www.smore.com/4zmev
Issue No. 10: https://www.smore.com/xrj9m
Issue No. 11: https://www.smore.com/3rpg8
2021-2022
Issue No. 1: https://www.smore.com/nejd3
Issue No. 2: https://www.smore.com/e3kc9
Issue No. 3: https://www.smore.com/r38nb
Issue No. 4: https://www.smore.com/am95v
Issue No. 5: https://www.smore.com/4xy68
Issue No. 6: https://www.smore.com/0xp39
Issue No. 7: https://www.smore.com/xhqf10-sac-corner
Issue No. 8: https://www.smore.com/5kw2u
Issue No. 9: https://www.smore.com/5z3n9
Issue No. 10: https://www.smore.com/2g9zf
Special Editions
Doxxing: https://www.smore.com/0x9nb
Tech Effect: https://www.smore.com/nvg73-sac-corner
Suicide: https://www.smore.com/p0fj5
Tragedy, Loss, Hate, & Fear: https://www.smore.com/8sqet
Haddonfield School District SAC - Holly Penna
Email: hpenna@haddonfield.k12.nj.us
Website: https://haddonfieldschools.org/
Location: A104 HMHS
Phone: 856-429-3960 . 1155