We personally seek out the best resources for your as school leaders and for your students. We know these resources are the best because we have used them with our students and gotten proven results. Being proactive about seeking out new resources was definitely a game-changer for us. Our schools improved two and three report card grade levels, in a single year, when we were intentional about putting books into the hands students that they could connect with.

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The Collaborative is our online platform that brings educators, parents, and community members together each week to navigate the pivots of Pandemic Education. Each segment highlights an author, on the first Tuesday of each month at 7:00 pm EST. Tune in on any of our social media platforms. Be our guest by filling out the contact form on our website.

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Our partnership with Dr. Gill Noam, Associate Professor with Harvard Medical School, has afforded us the opportunity to send you one free book to review. This book will be great for staff summer reading. Visit our website and fill out the contact form http://www.CreateandEducate.Solutions.

Access featured authors using the link below. More summer reading and math resources, grief resources, SEL resources, Financial Literacy Resources, and Professional Development Information.

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In this episode, we discuss school safety plans and real solutions to keep students and staff members safe.

CHILD GRIEF STAGES: WHAT GRIEF LOOKS LIKE IN CHILDREN

When a child suffers the loss of a loved one, often their grieving goes unnoticed. Many people are only familiar with the “five stages of grief;” however, grief is not a linear experience, especially in children. Children display emotions differently than adults. Grief for kids is both emotional, intellectual, social, and physical. A child’s level of understanding, reactive behaviors, and needs will all vary depending on their age.

The problem with child grief stages, like Elisabeth Kubler-Ross’ 5 Stages (now debunked), is that they are about death and dying. David Kessler’s 6 Stages also assume that a linear path can be followed. But grief is cyclical, organic, and depends on many variables. In other words, grief cannot be contained to some tidy stages.

To truly help a child suffering a loss, first understand what grief looks like in children.

DIFFERENT LEVELS OF UNDERSTANDING

Some adults wrongfully assume that young children do not comprehend death. While some young children may not understand the permanence of death, their level of understanding grows as they age. For example, children five and younger may not clearly remember the person who has died, fully understand death, ideas about an afterlife, or temporary versus permanent absence. However, they will still experience grief, have needs, and express grief through their behaviors.

Children begin to understand that death is permanent between ages six and nine and can develop fear, guilt, and blame. At ages 10-12, practical questions may be asked about death and how it will affect their family. From ages 13-18, children have a complete understanding of death and can begin to worry about themselves. They can also question religion, philosophical beliefs, and even doctors.

REACTIVE BEHAVIORS

As all children are affected by death, it can alter their behavior. Often, negative words and actions are misdirected, which is how child grief can go unnoticed. At any age, aggression can occur. However, as children get older, acting out becomes common while grieving, whether in school, at home, or with friends. It’s crucial to identify out of character behavior, address why it is happening, and present alternative methods to cope. Grief behavior is not limited to “bad” or discouraged behavior. Grief behavior includes being the “golden child,” too.

THE NEEDS OF A GRIEVING CHILD

As a child’s caregiver, or supportive adult relationship, it’s vital to encourage healthy coping methods. For children of any age, the following are always beneficial:

• Honesty while answering questions about death
• Proactive ways to express feelings (grief programs, art, writing, etc.)
• Reassurance, validation, and listening of feelings
• Continued emotional support and encouragement

WAYS TO HELP A GRIEVING CHILD

While there are no stages of grief for a kid, there are still ways to help a grieving child. To ensure a child never feels alone while grieving, reach out to Good Grief. We offer a community-based peer support model that teaches coping strategies, communication skills, and assistance with mental and physical health.

Find this and other information at:

https://good-grief.org/child-grief-stages-theyre-not-the-5-you-think/